It's Eventual
by spicehnoodles
Summary: Marrying the person you hated the most seemed to be the only option. It wasn't like they loved each other. It was purely for money. That was it.
1. Mr Calm Guy

It was typical of her to wear a black wedding dress instead of the traditional white. It was also typical of her to hold a bouquet of black roses instead of red roses or pastel-colored flowers.

Everything was so … typically _her_.

He watched as she walked slowly down the aisle, taking baby steps. His patience was as thin as it could possibly be. He began tapping his index finger on the side of his thigh repeatedly and speedily. He swallowed down the urge to yell and tell her to hurry up.

He also blamed the pianist for playing the wedding march slower than usual. The pianist was playing on an ancient-looking organ with tubes that were incredibly tall it almost touched the ceiling — and the ceiling was _high_. The way the pianist played the piece was dreadfully gradual and dissonant; it vaguely sounded like the dirge.

Finally — _fi-na-lly _— she went up the two, tiny steps and stood in front of him. Her black veil — oh, what a great _shocker _— stopped underneath her chin, transparent enough to show her vibrant orbs. She stared at him expectantly, as if she were waiting for him to do something.

_Oh. _

He sighed, grumbled under his breath, and carelessly flipped the veil over her head. Despite his wishes, the veil gracefully flew back.

"You ready, Hilda?" he asked, looking straight through her eyes.

"What do you think?" she replied back,_ almost _sounding as if that question offended her pride.

He smirked slightly. "Thought so. There's no backin' out now."

"What about you, fool? Are you ready?"

He thought back to what they had been through. The memories burst into his mind in a blur — but, ironically, he remembered everything clearly. Thinking about all the sacrifices, emotions, and outrageous events that he had encountered, did, and had felt hinted an oncoming migraine.

"What do you think?"

"I thought so."

There really was no backing out.

* * *

><p>Tatsumi Oga woke up with a start.<p>

Muffled masculine voices radiated from the thin walls of his bedroom. He sat up abruptly and glared at the wall, hoping that it would combust and spread its scorching fire to the idiots that woke him up. He fell back and stuffed two pillows over his head.

"Put that there."

_THUD._

"No, over there."

_THUD._

"I meant over _there_."

_THUD._

"Aw, shit — I think the chick said on that side."

"Screw you. You're doin' this on purpose."

_THUD._

Tatsumi's teeth clenched tightly. The force was so great that it could shatter them. His hands curled into hazardous fists, knuckles protruding. If he heard _one more sound_, he swore he was going to —

_THUD, THUD._

"Idiot! Why the hell did you drop the damn box like that? You made it fall, dumbass!"

"Well, if you told me where to put it in the first place, I wouldn't have dropped it at all, asshole!"

"'Asshole', huh? You callin' me an asshole, punk? Wanna say that again?"

"Sure. _You are an asshole._"

That. Was. It.

Tatsumi shoved his blanket off and roughly threw his pillows to the wall. He charged right out of the room, slamming the door open and not bothering to close it. He stomped through the living room and kicked the front door open, ignoring the fact that he broke the locks — again.

The apartment door right beside his was left ajar. Tons and tons of boxes were stacked upon one another. There were at least four towers of them. It blocked the hallway heading down the rest of the apartments.

Grunts, curses, objects falling and breaking, and shouts were traveling out of the apartment near his. Tatsumi growled and, with fists as hard as diamonds, he marched right through the abode angrily.

The place was all but empty despite the boxes identical to the ones outside. Some boxes had fallen, and some that had fallen opened, revealing broken antiques and other fragile items. But Tatsumi overlooked the meager objects and glowered at the morons wrestling on the floor.

The brown-haired freak kicked the lanky-looking freak hard in the stomach in an attempt to get Lanky's arms off of him. Brownie managed to escape Lanky's hard grasp and elbowed his cheek with great force. Lanky spat out blood and attacked back with a sudden uppercut. Brownie toppled on the ground, moaning and cussing. Lanky stood up and stomped his foot on his opponent's abdomen. He grinned triumphantly and pressed his shoe harder, twisting it.

Tatsumi rolled his eyes at their immaturity and their amateur fighting moves. They were acting like a bunch of teenagers — kind of strange of him to think since Tatsumi himself was eighteen — that acted way too arrogant with their strength. He could tell that they were relying on luck, hoping they could land a punch on each other.

He was like that before, but he didn't want to admit that.

The eighteen-year-old was a second away from body slamming the two boys when a flash of yellow and black sped past him.

A blonde-haired woman jumped and swiftly kicked Lanky at the side. He flew to the wall, flat on his face. Slowly, he slid down, landing in a slump. The woman knelt down and grabbed Brownie by the shirt effortlessly. She held him up until he was a few inches off the ground.

"What are you fools doing?" she asked in an icy, icy tone. It sent tingles through Tatsumi's spine, but his face clearly didn't show it. He was pissed the woman stole the spotlight. Admittedly, he was also impressed, but he could've done more damage to Lanky.

Brownie's eyes widened, fear shown profoundly in them. "M-M-Miss, i-i-it was a-a-a-all — " He got cut off suddenly.

"Stop stuttering and speak clearly!"

He squealed. Tatsumi stared disgustingly at the guy. _Jeez, she's just a chick. Man the fuck up_, he snarled mentally.

Brownie cleared his throat. "R-Ryuu — " The fear in his eyes spread like wildfire crazily when he saw her glare turn even murderous " — Ryuu put the box at the wrong place, and I got mad at him! He acted like a baby, and I got mad at him more! Then, he started the fight! He dropped the box in the first place and didn't listen to me! He started it, miss, honest!" Tears sprang from the corners of his fear-filled eyes, and soon, a waterfall of salt slid down his cheeks. "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

Tatsumi rolled his eyes at the guy. He was acting pathetic — no, he _was _pathetic. He couldn't believe that he was crying over a damn _woman_. Sure, she may have scary strength and eyes of a killer, but so what? She may seem like some type of demon, but that didn't mean she _was _one. The dude was overreacting. The dude deserved the verbal and physical abuse inflicted upon him.

But Tatsumi wanted to do that.

"You are pathetic," Blondie stated dangerously. "You are both pathetic." She whipped her face towards Ryuu, who was _slowly _recuperating. Seeing her blizzard glare, he squeaked and cowered in fear.

It was time to make his presence known. "My thoughts exactly," Tatsumi announced, tone casual.

The woman dropped Brownie. He wiped his tears with his sleeves and crawled towards Ryuu, positioning himself in a fetal position, and then rocking in synchronization with him.

Tatsumi got a good look of the woman. She had her hair up in a bun, and she had long bangs that covered her right eye, which was brilliantly green. She wore a simple, black sleeveless dress that showed off a portion of her breasts — they were as _huge as hell _— and stopped mid-thigh. She also donned high boots that went all the way up to the top of her knees.

_Is she foreign? She speaks formal Japanese, so she must be mixed blood_, Tatsumi thought.

"Are you with these fools?" she asked, staring at him as if he were pest.

The look infuriated him even more. "Look, lady, I'm here to complain," he said, walking up to her.

She merely stared at him, stoic. It either meant she didn't understand what he was talking about or she simply did not give a crap. He was highly sure it was the latter.

"Fascinating." If it weren't for the fact that her voice was so expressionless, he would've heard the sarcasm. In a way, he did. This woman was insane.

Then she started walking out of the apartment.

Tatsumi's eyes narrowed at her retreating form. _Bitch_, he thought acridly. He went straight after her, seizing her shoulder and forcing her to face him.

"I was still talking to you, woman," he snapped at her. "I said that I was here to complain, and I didn't complain yet."

Her eyes journeyed to the hand clutching her shoulder. She regarded him, glaring. "Get your dirty paw off of me before I break it," she threatened menacingly.

_What the hell's up with this freakin' bitch? _The fire inside him was rising and rising, flames just about ready to burst, but he held it in. His hand fell from her shoulder and twitched with anger as soon as it met its natural place.

"All right, _look_. You know those two punks in there, the ones you just mentally and physically scarred for life?"

"No, I don't. They're just helping me move in."

"That means you're responsible for them." Was it just him or did her glare harden at the statement? "And since you are, I'm complaining to _you_. And I'd like it if you would tell those idiots to quiet down or I'll rip their mouths off 'cause they woke me up. I don't like being woken up, 'specially since I slept late. Got it, Blondie?"

She scoffed, offending him. "I don't take orders from the likes of you. It's not my problem that those morons in there have a problem with their tones or if your beauty sleep is interrupted. I'm not liable for anything."

Tatsumi gritted his teeth in anger. "But those morons in there are _working _for you, which makes you _liable for them_."

Something dangerous flashed in her orbs. "I am _not _liable for them," she stated firmly.

Jeez, she was being so damn _stubborn_. Obviously she was responsible for the racket they were making, because they were working under her for the time being. It was like in the hospital — if a nurse did something wrong, the hospital or the attending doctor was accountable for her actions, right? The situation was the same with the chick and the noisy punks. She was being completely unreasonable, and it was just infuriating him more and _more_.

"Now are you done being an infantile little boy so I can finish moving in already?" Blondie asked.

It was like something popped inside. It was like something triggered the impending doom that was ready to burst out of his mouth and fists. Just the sound of her voice, how emotionless and cold it was, made him tense with rage.

But, _damn-freakin'-it_, she was a _girl_. He didn't want to cause _her_ physical pain. He figured he could use his verbal strength and save his physical strength for the two teens.

"'Kay, bitch, no more Mr. Calm Guy," Tatsumi began in a dangerously low tone. "All I fuckin' wanted was for you two make those assholes over there to stop being so damn _loud _or shut the hell up. That's _it_. You didn't have to be so fuckin' _stubborn_ about this whole damn thing, all right?" He ended with a loud shout.

His enraged speech didn't deter her at all. "Like I said, _boy_, I am not liable for those fools," she said, tone becoming angry. "That means you can do whatever the hell you want with them as long as they get their work done."

Okay, now that was pretty strange. Did she actually say that he could rough the two boys up and she wouldn't care? Did she really say that? But then again, considering her cold personality, it wouldn't be _that _surprising. Still, though, that wasn't something Tatsumi heard from normal people.

"W-W-W-Wait a minute! What're you saying, miss? You're gonna let that homicidal maniac kill us? _Please_ tell me you're not gonna do that to us! It's all Ryuu's fault, I swear to you!" Brownie desperately tried to explain.

Ryuu stopped his cowering to smack him at the back of his head. "Stop fuckin' lying!" he yelled. "You're the one being stupid and telling me the wrong places, dumbass!"

"Oh, so it's 'dumbass' now?"

A vague grimace appeared on her face. She nodded at him. "Do what you please. Just make sure they do their job," she replied. She left the apartment.

A wicked, bloodthirsty grin widened on his face. His fists turned into deadly weapons. He approached his prey.

All you could hear were piercing cries of sheer agony throughout the entire morning.

**— —**

"Oga, ya got the money?"

"You gotta give me more time!"

"Damn it, Oga, I've given you _two freakin' weeks_ already. Cough up the damn cash!"

"C'mon, don't do this to me, Toujou; I've got a life to live!"

" … Dude, Oga, stop being so dramatic. I just need your monthly rent."

Tatsumi heaved a large sigh and collapsed on the dilapidated sofa. "I am as broke as fuck."

Toujou shook his head at him. "You gotta get the cash soon. I'm filling in for the landlord while she's in vacation, and it's not gonna be pretty once she realizes your pay is late — for the what, eighteenth time?"

"Tch, stop exaggerating."

"Then what?"

The eighteen-year-old stayed quiet.

"Oga?"

Tatsumi snapped, "Well, maybe it's the twentieth time, all right? Quit bitchin' 'bout it!"

"Calm the hell down. I'm not." Toujou leaned back against the computer chair. If the landlord found out that Toujou contaminated _her _chair, he literally wouldn't live to see the day. Just thinking about that made Tatsumi want to grin viciously. What stopped him, though, was the fact that she would still be enraged and vent out _all _emotions on him — basically, killing him, too.

Tatsumi obviously needed money. He was dead broke. He could only afford a cup of instant noodles, and, although he could quite literally survive with only instant noodles, he was getting sick and tired of eating the same thing continuously. He thought he could handle it, but his body was being such a chick — which was kind of a punch to the ego. He could get a job and was fit enough to carry heavyweight without breaking a sweat. But his temper would always flare, because a lot of things/people aggravated him. There were also those people that held a grudge against him in high school and would cause a fight.

So, in a sense, the trouble that followed him wasn't _entirely _his fault. Some people just didn't know how to leave him alone. Was he that amazing? Did they like him or admire him _that _much?

"So … whatcha gonna do, Oga?" Toujou asked wistfully, looking out the window, hands clasped over his lap.

Tatsumi gave him a weird look.

Toujou seemed to feel the look, so he turned back to him. He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"That … That thing you're doing!"

"What thing?"

"That — That _thing_!"Tatsumi gestured to what he was doing. He mimicked his position and expression. "This face and clasping your hands like that." His face returned back to normal. "Dude, it feels off when you do it."

"The hell, Oga?"

Tatsumi sighed irritably and buried his face in his hands. "You know what? I don't even know what the fuck I'm saying, either."

The two men stayed silent for a while. Tatsumi took advantage of the silence to clear his mind of the stress overpowering him fast. His fingers massaged his temples as if to somewhat alleviate the ounces of internal agony. He hated stress, and he didn't want to deal with stress. Stress made him violent with everything around him. In a few minutes, he would infuriate Toujou and brawl with him. Maybe doing that will help him deal.

"Hey, Oga."

"What?"

"How do I look when I make this position?"

Tatsumi looked up and burst out laughing. Toujou had his leg crossed over the other and had his right elbow over his knee, fist underneath his chin. He had a grave expression on his face. Think GQ magazines. The pose didn't fit him right _at all_, because Toujou was a big, muscular guy that was tough as nails — wimpy next to Tatsumi, but he was just sayin' — and the pose made him look, well, anti-tough.

Toujou scowled at him. He scooted the chair all the way to him. The eighteen-year-old clutched his stomach, laughing harder and harder. Toujou didn't even move a single muscle from his position.

"Why the fuck you laughin', asshole?"

Tatsumi tried to speak. "You — HA! — look so freakin' — HAHAHAHAHA! — I can't even — " He started turning red and fell off the couch, still clutching his stomach. It was now in pain from all the laughing, but he ignored it. This was just _hilarious_. "YOU'RE SO FREAKIN' UGLY!"

Toujou stopped his pose and glared at him. "Fuck you," he sneered. "And stop laughing already."

"You're — You're — HAHAHAHA! — so freakin' — I can't breathe!"

"You can't breathe, huh? Want me to help you not breathe even more? Stop laughing!"

"Like I'm scared of _you_, Your — HAHA! — _Ugliness_!"

_SMACK, SMACK, SMACK._

Oga left with three bruises ("Tch, fuckin' sore-ass loser.") on his right arm. He popped his neck easily, scowling. He looked back towards the landlord's office and glared at it. He turned back and began angrily heading up the steps to his apartment. As soon as he reached his floor, he saw that the boxes outside of Blondie's door were gone. She must be done settling in.

His current situation crept into his mind sneakily. He wiped his face with his hand roughly and grumbled under his breath, strings of profanities mixing with his grumbles. He placed his arms on the railing and leaned forward. His exhausted eyes surveyed his surroundings.

This … was it. He was going to die as a hobo. Was this what he deserved after suffering all those years in high school? He actually had endured the damn place for a reason. He needed some sort of _reward _for putting up with all of the assholes, dumbasses, punks, wannabes, freaks, and arrogant bitches. He didn't want to be in debt his entire life.

He spotted Blondie walking to the building, carrying a bag of groceries. She passed by a group of men, who stopped chatting with each other to ogle her shamelessly. She didn't pay them any mind and continued on.

An idea formed in his rusty brain.

A sinister smile slithered on his lips. He pushed off the railing and journeyed towards the blonde bombshell.

* * *

><p><strong>—<strong> this is gon' be _good_, peeps.

& don't worry, the chapters will get longer. :)  
>Review<em>!<em>


	2. Blondie Filda

Hands in pockets, Tatsumi approached the group of men nonchalantly.

"Hey."

A guy donning a hat backwards raised an eyebrow. Curiosity flooded his orbs but specks of suspicion could be spotted. He faced his body towards Tatsumi.

"Ya need somethin'?" he asked brusquely.

Tatsumi shook his head. "Actually, I was lookin' to see if _you _guys needed something," he replied casually. "You see, I was just in the neighborhood, and I couldn't help but notice — "

"Wait a minute." Hat Guy's eyes narrowed down, suspicion taking over now. "You look pretty damn familiar."

Tatsumi stared at the guy long and hard. _Have I beaten up this guy before? _he wondered.

Hat Guy's eyes squinted at him. "Fuck, man. My memory's screwed up, but I've seen your face somewhere. You might be — " He stopped, realization dawning on his face. A malicious grin gradually appeared on his face. "Well, what the fuck — you're Oga Tatsumi, aren' ya?"

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah, you are."

"What're you talkin' 'bout? I'm not Oga Tatsumi."

"Tch, quit dickin' around."

"I'm serious! I'm not Oga Tatsumi." _Shit_, he thought. _I can't let these punks know who I am. I can smell some shitty trouble already._

Hat Guy crossed his arms over his chest. The suspicion was still clear in his eyes. "All right then," he began slowly. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm … " _Damn it! Think, _think_! Just say some random name, Tatsumi! You can do this! That's what high school's for — thinking! You graduated, because you thought! Or, well, I did cheat off Furuichi for all those three pain in the ass years, but still! This should be easy!_

Yup.

Oga Tatsumi was one hell of an idiot.

"Furuichi Takayuki."

"Isn't he the pussy that hangs around with him?"

" … No?" It was hard to lie, because, well, Furuichi _is _a pussy.

Hat Guy made a motion directed to his crew. Everyone of them grinned sinisterly and cracked their knuckles. They advanced towards the eighteen-year-old.

Tatsumi stared up at the sky, sighing.

_Might as well_, he thought lightly. _Haven't been workin' out, anyway._

Needless to say, after approximately fifteen minutes, Tatsumi headed up his apartment, leaving a pile of unconscious men at the sidewalk.

* * *

><p>"Oga Tatsumi, long time no see." Himekawa's smooth voice rolled through the other side of the phone.<p>

Tatsumi sighed and leaned against the counter. "You mean, long time no _hear_ since we're on the damn _phone_," he remarked.

"Ooh, I caught _you _in a chipper mood."

"Just spit out what shit you gotta say."

"Fine. Enough with the pleasantries. Tonight, I have a party at a local bar of mine."

He rolled his eyes. _Here we go_, he thought bitterly.

"I was thinking if you could come along. I haven't seen you since high school, Oga. Hiding from me? Intimidated by my success and money?"

"Fuck off. And no, I'm not interested in going. Last time I went to your freakin' party, a bunch of chicks vomited on me."

Himekawa was silent for a while. "It wasn't that bad," he finally commented. He didn't sound convincing, however.

"Dude, one chick's shit vomit flew in my fuckin' beer, and I drank it! _I drank shit_, Himekawa." Just thinking about the event made him want to vomit. He shivered at the vague tasting memory.

"Your fault for not being aware of your surroundings." Tatsumi heard rustling sounds from the other line. "Okay, here: all refreshments and food on me. You just come with a date, that's all."

Tatsumi was definitely about to agree to the free drinks and food, but the asshole just _had _to say the last part. "A DATE?" he shouted. "A freakin' _DATE_? Hell no! Can't I just come alone? Or can't I bring Furuichi or somethin'?"

"Oga, this is your chance to prove that you're not gay."

The eighteen-year-old almost slipped off the counter. "What the — how could I be — where'd you — DUDE, WHAT THE FUCKIN' HELL?" he stammered out loudly. "I'm not gay!"

"Then why are you always, _always _with Furuichi every time I host a party? You two are together all the damn time. I bet he's there with you at your apartment right now."

"No, he's not!" Tatsumi wouldn't _dare _tell him that Furuichi was coming over later.

"I bet he's coming over _later_, then." Himekawa had a teasing tone. Tatsumi wanted to rip that tone right outta his throat — or maybe just rip his throat out.

"YOU KNOW WHAT?"

"What?"

"I'LL MAKE YOU FUCKIN' EAT YOUR BULLSHIT, HIMEKAWA. I'LL BRING MY OWN DAMN DATE AT THAT DAMN PART Y OF YOURS AND SHOW YOUR ASSHOLE-NESS THAT I'M NOT _GAY_!" Tatsumi finished with a heaving chest. He then added, with a sheepish tone, "As long as I get the free food and drinks."

Himekawa's chuckle floated smoothly through the receiver. "Ah, Oga … I'll believe _your _bullshit when I see it."

Tatsumi growled, spat vulgarity, and hung up the phone by slamming it on the tiles of the floor. The phone died in pieces. He stared at the once-alive contraption quietly for a few seconds.

_Fuck my life_, he groaned internally.

He opened the refrigerator and seized a gallon of water — his _last _gallon of water, to be specific. He was about to down the whole thing before he realized that that was a bad idea. He stopped drinking and inspected the gallon. He cursed when he saw that there were only a few drops left. He opened his refrigerator again and roughly threw the gallon inside.

He paced around the kitchen.

_Where the hell am I going to find a date? Shit, I need to find one soon! I can use this chance to steal all of Himekawa's food. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon …  
><em>

The doorbell rang. Tatsumi ignored it.

The doorbell rang again. Tatsumi ignored it again.

The doorbell began ringing repeatedly. All of a sudden, it seemed whoever was ringing was making some type of catchy tune out of it.

Tatsumi growled for the world to hear. He stomped his way towards the door, cursing and cursing when he stubbed his toe at the edge of the wall. He opened the door and was ready to wreak havoc on the sucker who was ringing the doorbell.

What he was going to roar fell short, because he sure didn't expect _this _person.

Blondie stood in front of him, pointer resting on his apartment's doorbell. She regarded him emotionlessly and pulled her finger away from the button.

"The hell you want, Blondie?" Tatsumi snapped. He certainly didn't want to see _her _out of all people. He was busy thinking, and if he had any lingering anger within him, he wouldn't be able to think well.

She glowered at him. "I don't appreciate your tone, mongrel," she answered coldly.

The eighteen-year-old resisted the urge to bang his head continuously against the wall. "Not my problem. Good_bye_." He was just about to slam the door at her face when suddenly her hand flew out and held the door in place.

First thought that popped into his reeling mind? _Damn, this bitch is hella _strong_._

"Shit," he muttered, wide eyes on the blonde before him. He hated to admit this, but he was impressed. But only a little bit, of course!

"How rude. Is this how you treat all of your visitors?" Her green eyes penetrated through his, oozing out iciness and rage. This chick was messed up in the mind, he knew.

He stared at her blankly.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Once she opened her orbs, she spoke: "I have an inquiry."

Tatsumi raised an eyebrow at that, and then, soon, a sly grin slid on his mouth.

_"Ohhhhhh," _he started with a frivolous voice, "is that _soooooo_?"

Tatsumi had to stifle his uproar of laughter ready to explode out of his system once he saw Blondie's eyes narrow into slits. He could see intense irritability shining dangerously out of them.

"Oh, Blondie. Blondie, Blondie, Blondie … " He shook his head in mock disappointment. "I'd gladly hear your _'inquiry' _right now, but … I've got _important _shit to deal with, so if ya don't mind … " He readily proceeded closing the door, but she was quick. Before he could successfully close the door against her damn irritating face, she slipped through effortlessly.

"A pigsty of a home you have here." Her nose wrinkled in disgust.

Tatsumi stood up from the ground, glaring at her. In the process of her "slipping in," she had managed to make him fall face-flat on the ground by flicking her leg out and pierced the inside of his knees, resulting in him toppling over. He had tried to maintain his balance by using the door as support, but, unfortunately, he had been much too close to the door and smacked his face against it, sliding down, and _then _falling face-flat.

"Stop right there, crazy ho." Tatsumi charged right up to her and grabbed her arm before she could begin rudely inspecting his house some more. "Just go and ask what you gotta ask. Like I said, some important shit's gotta be dealt with."

"Like I'm interested in your personal affairs." She pried her arm out of his grip. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you happen to know where those two baboons earlier this morning went to?"

"You mean the ones I beat the fuck out of?"

She nodded.

He shrugged. "How the hell am I supposed to know? I don't even know those punks. Why, whaddya need 'em for?"

She scowled instantly. "Those impertinent fools actually had the audacity of breaking my _china_. I would like a word with them _immediately_." A bloodthirsty glint appeared in her green eyes. "Something has to happen to them."

Tatsumi felt an ominous aura coming off of her. Crazy chicks shouldn't be anywhere near anybody, and since she was crazy, he had to kick her out of his household. He really wanted to hoist her up on his shoulder, march right up to his door, and throw her insane self out of his apartment. Then, he could get back to pacing and thinking hard about who would actually _agree _to be his "date" for the party tonight.

But then … a crazy idea — even crazier than the blonde bitch — just happened to crawl into his rusty brain.

"Just your luck, Blondie," Tatsumi stated, grinning. "'Cause those punks are attending a party I'm going to tonight."

She stepped closer to him. _"Take me there." _Her tone was incredibly menacing.

He freaked out by the look in her eyes and her tone, but he remained his cool. "If you say so … " He faked an innocent tone with ease. "But, uh, if someone happens to ask if you're my date … just say so, m'kay?"

Suspicions flared on her face. "Why?"

He sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. "Do you wanna rough up the two assholes or not?"

She stayed silent for a moment; the sound was rather soothing to his ears. After a minute or so, she looked like she was agreeing. It was hard to tell with the whole emotionless thing going on with her face.

"I suppose I have no choice," she finally said.

_Fuck yeah._

* * *

><p>"Name," the bouncer grunted. He had shades on, but Tatsumi could see that he was eyeing Blondie's outfit.<p>

_Tch_, he thought, rolling his eyes, _her fault for being a stripper tonight._

"Oga Tatsumi."

The bouncer picked up the clipboard and flipped through the guest list. He kept on flipping through, and Tatsumi began to wonder how many people were invited. It seemed like a relatively small bar.

The bouncer scratched his cheek. "How do ya spell that?" he questioned.

Beside him, Blondie sighed. Tatsumi gave the guy an incredulous look. "Dude, you're kidding, right? My name isn't that hard to spell."

"Does your first name end with an 'e'?"

"The hell? Aren't you Japanese?"

"Sort of."

"Wha — how the hell can you be _sort of_ Japanese?"

"You can be 'sort of' Japanese if your mom is from Uzbekistan!" he finally snapped. "Now, spell your damn name already!" He ended with a heave. He looked as if he was going to have a nervous breakdown soon.

Tatsumi glanced back at Blondie, who had her right eyebrow raised at the bouncer. He then looked back at him, giving him a look, before spelling out his name dully.

Finally, the "couple" entered the bar. The façade of the bar seemed to give off an opposite feel considering how _enormous _the inside of the building was. The lights were dim, but there were red, blue, and white lights flashing crazily around at the stage. Speaking of the stage, there were girls giving a "show," and multiples of men were surrounded by the stage, lecherous desperation radiating off of all of them. At the side was a long bar extending all the way to the north wall, stopping at the side of the stage. In the center of the bar were tall round tables with four tall stools.

It wasn't difficult spotting Himekawa. Tatsumi veered his head to the right and saw an open room. He could easily see Himekawa lounging on the sofa, arms draped around two women.

"Where are the two boys?" Blondie demanded. She looked around the bar with disgust written on her face.

"You'll see 'em soon. C'mon, we've got a friend to meet." Tatsumi started for the open room, Blondie in tow.

"I told them they had to earn for their rights by begging, and if they don't, well, all odds are forever going to be against them," Himekawa was explaining. The girls on either side of him were intently listening, though they looked as if they didn't comprehend what he was talking about.

At the threshold of the door, Tatsumi cleared his throat.

Himekawa stopped. He faced Tatsumi, an amused look coming upon his face.

"Ah, Oga, you made it," he said. Smugness was underlying his casual tone. "You're here, but where's your — ?"

Tatsumi grinned widely and stepped to the side, revealing his "date." Blondie was searching wildly throughout the building for the two boys that messed up her china.

Himekawa's eyes widened. His mouth was ajar. The girls gave Blondie a contemptible stare, looking incredibly envious of her. He then shut his mouth close and regained his composure.

"Your bullshit is true, I see." His eyes raked through her body, a satisfied sparkle in his eyes. "What's her name, Oga?"

_Oh, shit_.

Tatsumi didn't even know her own damn _name_. He didn't think it was that necessary, and the nickname "Blondie" was already befitting for her. He was acclimated to the name, permanently thinking that it was, indeed, her birth name.

"Hildegarde," Blondie answered for him. "But I prefer 'Hilda.'"

"Hilda … " Himekawa tested the name with his tongue. "Beautiful name for a beautiful woman."

Tatsumi rolled his eyes, grossed out. "Yeah, all right, let's go on with the damn program. I brought my date, _Hilda_," — ugh, he preferred "Blondie" — "and now I'm ready for my free food and refreshments." He grinned delightfully.

Blondie, er, _Hilda_ nudged him sharply with her elbow. "Where are the two imbeciles? I don't spot any one of them!" she hissed. "You lied to me!"

Himekawa stood up from the couch, earning two disappointed pouts from the girls. He walked until he was standing right in front of Hilda.

"Is there a problem, Hilda?"

"Yes, there is," Tatsumi rudely cut in. He blocked Hilda by standing in front of her. "Where the hell's my free drinks and food?"

"Just go to the bartender and tell him my name." He grabbed a hold of his shoulder and pushed him to the side. "Now, if you'll excuse _us_, Hilda and I have important matters to discuss."

Tatsumi shrugged and ran off to the bartender with glee.

Hilda regarded him with disinterest. "Do those important matters entail two certain fools that are here at the party?"

Himekawa nonchalantly wrapped an arm around her shoulders, smiling at her. "Well, Tatsumi's one fool I already know of, but since I have money, I can help you find such fools, okay? No need to worry your pretty head." His hand stroked her arm.

She glowered at his hand. However, she still inquired, "Money? Are you incredibly affluent?"

His smile broadened, arrogance shining. "Incredibly."

* * *

><p><em>Gulp, gulp, gulp<em>

"More."

Sigh.

_Clink_

Grin.

_Gulp, gulp, gulp_

_BURP!_

"_Whoa. _M — " _BEEEELCH _" — ore."

The bartender sighed petulantly. He placed the cup he was polishing with a rag down.

"Hey," he called to Tatsumi. "You've downed three bottles of beer already. You're lookin' tipsy, and I want you to pay in advance before you drown in alcohol and _forget_."

"YO!" Tatsumi yelled, looking _far _from tipsy. "I — I _know _Hime-Himekawa, that arrogant fu-pu-fu-p-p-p-_punk_ of an ass." He almost fell of the barstool.

"Dude, _everyone _knows Himekawa 'round here. The partygoers in here are actually invited, 'cause they know him and stuff. But just because you know his damn name doesn't mean that you get free rounds. Pay up and drink."

Tatsumi swirled around his barstool, unaware of the fact that he was no longer facing the bartender. "Look, fuck-face! Hime and I go _waaaaaaay _back! I bea-bea-_beat _his shiny ass in high — " _hic _" — _skewl_! So therefore, buddy, I _know him_!"

"Yeah, that's what they all say. And by the way" — the bartender leaned over the counter and swiveled Tatsumi back, now facing him — "I'm _right here_."

Tatsumi stared at the guy with hazy, drunken eyes. In the back of his mind, while he drank as if his life depended on it, he knew he had a very low tolerance on alcohol. He had gotten incredibly drunk and wasted many, many times at all the parties he had gone/crashed to.

But it wasn't as if he _learned _from that.

"Are you even twenty-one?"

The bartender was irritating him. His voice sounded as if he was above him and knew better, and Tatsumi _despised _people like that.

So, he slammed a fist on the counter, the sound almost overpowering the pounding party beats. The bartender, startled, dropped the third glass he was polishing, the glass cracking instantly as it hit the ground. He shot his arm out in an attempt to grab a fistful of the guy's shirt, but he only found air. His vision was dizzying. But he finally caught him — by the material in front of his abdomen.

"Listen up, _f-f-f-f-fucker_," he slurred. He didn't sound as menacing as he planned to. "I'm the d-damn guest right her', and I ex-_shpect _to get my drinks and food without any fuckin' — without, um, any — "

"Questions?" the bartender inputted.

"Yeah! That! So give me my sushi!"

" … We don't _sell _sushi here, sir."

"The _hell_? This is fuckin' Japan! WHERE'S THE SUSHI HIDIN'?"

"Goodness. You're making an inebriated fool out of yourself — as if you weren't one already, notwithstanding the inebriation."

Tatsumi let go of the guy's shirt and instantly turned around, which was a bad idea because his stool spun with him and he lost his balance, effectively falling to the ground. Groaning, he sat up, leaning his head against the cool metallic feel of the counter.

"Bl-Bl-Blondie … ," he muttered, head pounding. "I mean … Filda!"

"Hilda, moron."

"That, too! Where you been, _maaaaaan_?" He grinned sloppily.

She overlooked the question. "Your friend deserves to be slaughtered," she said, extreme bitterness seeping out of her tone.

* * *

><p>And, <em>meanwhile<em> …

Himekawa lied sprawled on the floor, clutching his neck and family jewels. He wailed and moaned, sheer agony piercing through the walls.

"Oga's," he rasped out acridly, _"bitch."_

* * *

><p>Hilda's face contorted into extreme repugnance once she heard Tatsumi burp and then belch. She regarded the bartender. He was cleaning the counter because of Tatsumi's drool, but he was busy staring at her with awe and lust.<p>

"How much did he drink?" she questioned.

After a few seconds, he seemed to snap back out of his fantasies and blinked. "Oh, oh! Um … uh … " He stole a glimpse of her breasts. "He, uh, drank 'bout three bottles or so."

Hilda lifted her shoe and nudged Tatsumi's face. His eyes were closed, drool seeping out of his mouth, and knocked out.

_Fool_, she spat internally.

"Hey, you his girl or somethin'?" the bartender asked.

Hilda ignored the bartender. She casually stepped on something.

Tatsumi's eyes then flew wide, wide open.

"FUCKIN' SHIT!" he screamed out, squeaking. Tears prodded at the corners of his eyes.

The bartender squeaked to himself and left the area. All thoughts of asking the blonde's number immediately escaped his mind.

He glowered icily up at her. "Blondie Filda!"

She returned the ice. _"It's Hilda, you damn idiot," _she corrected furiously.

"Who the fuck gives a fuck?" His head fell to the side, intoxication hitting him fast. "'M wasted. Go home. Wanna go home … !" He began moaning.

The rest of the night was filled with Tatsumi moaning, groaning, whining, complaining, burping, belching, vomiting, singing, laughing, punching random people and inanimate objects, tripping, and so on and so forth.

He was lucky to have been taken care of, albeit clumsily and roughly.

Thinking of Hilda?

Well …

"Damn it, you better stop dancing on the stage! No one wants to see — _OH DEAR LORD_, PICK UP YOUR PANTS!"

… you better be thinking of the bartender.

* * *

><p><strong>—<strong> … yeah, I was gonna make Hilda be the one to take care of him, but that would've been _totally _OOC.

Happy New Year, guys_!_ I know I'm late, but, y'know. x

Review_!_


	3. To Die List

Tatsumi grinned.

Hilda stared.

Grin.

Stare.

Grin.

Stare.

Grin, grin, grin, grin.

Glare.

Grin, grin, grin, grin —

"Just _what _do you possibly want, Oga Tatsumi?"

A broadening grin. "Hey, you know my name. That's good, makes this easier." His eyes shot straight through hers. "I have a proposition for ya."

Hilda seemed as if she wasn't listening to him. Or, well, maybe she _was_, but Tatsumi had a sense that she wasn't listening in a listening way. Or maybe she _was _listening in a not listening way just by not listening _in _a listening way.

Yeah. That _totally _made sense.

Anyways, she stared at him as if he were the largest, most infuriating pest she had ever seen. Lately, she had been giving him such looks ever since his drunken incident, which he, till this day, refused to believe. He may have no morals _whatsoever_, but … he wouldn't embarrass himself _that _much.

_SLAM!_

"FUCK, BITCH, YOU BROKE MY — !"

She opened the door so suddenly, and Tatsumi's body flew to the railings.

He clutched his entire face, moaning, cursing, and groaning.

Her green eyes gleamed with intense hatred. "Don't you _ever _come within 18 and a half feet near my apartment." And, with that, she slammed her door close _hard_. Was it just him or did the entire apartment building vibrate from the impact?

Only one thought popped into his aching mind.

_18 and a half?_

* * *

><p><em>Three days, two hours, nineteen minutes, and forty-eight seconds ago …<em>

Oga Tatsumi absolutely hated hangovers with an intense passion.

Blind with grogginess and irritability, he made his way to the kitchen. His hand looked for the handle of the freezer, roughly slamming against the surface in the process. He finally found the handle and opened the door of the freezer. His hand waved through the freezer box, finding and finding … nothing.

He sighed, not surprised at all. He shut his eyes tightly and snapped them open, alleviating the sleepiness momentarily.

He saw a small ice cube.

It was better than nothing.

He grabbed said ice cube and rubbed it against his pounding head. The ice cube was quickly melting, the cold liquid sliding down his forehead. He didn't care, though. He focused on the cool, cool feel of the cube and savored it until it lasted.

He almost felt his hangover going away until —

_RING, RING, RING!_

Tatsumi gritted his teeth. The hangover blasted him again with immense force.

_RING, RING, RING!_

He chose to ignore the phone no matter _what_. He didn't want another repeat of what happened the last time. Yeah, it was the damn doorbell, but the circumstance was still the same. If he answered the phone, he was going to have to deal with some crazy demonic bitch with blonde hair and serial killer green eyes.

Hell-freakin'-_no_.

He had a hangover; he didn't have time to deal with crazy demonic bitches with blonde hair and serial killer green eyes.

_Hey, this is Oga Tatsumi. Say what fuckery ya gotta say or grow some balls already._

_beep –_

He needed to change that voicemail. (What if his _mom _called him when he wasn't there and heard that?) When he had done the voicemail message, he was in a bad mood, because he didn't know how to operate the phone and it took him _hours _until he called Furuichi.

_"Oga."_

"Fuckin' Himekawa," Tatsumi muttered, discarding the minuscule remains of the ice cube into the sink. He wiped the cold wetness off with his hand.

_"You were quite interesting last night, I must say. Nice rubber duckie boxers. Just so you know." _He could tell Himekawa was trying to stifle his full-out laughter._ "Well, considering what happened last night, I wouldn't blame you for not answering your phone. I bet you're listening to me right now, but you're too much of a pussy to talk to me."_

_Ignore, ignore, ignore … _, Tatsumi chanted mentally.

_"And to think, _you_ were known as the toughest guy in Ishiyama. That's the most bullshit I've ever —"_

He ran straight towards the phone and placed it against his ear.

Before he could say anything, Himekawa said smugly, "Ah, I was right. Well … of course I was, but you understand, don't you?"

"I understand that I'm two seconds away from fucking you up," Tatsumi threatened with clenched teeth.

Himekawa chuckled lightly. "Now, now, Oga. I'm here with a little proposition."

"No."

"You didn't even hear — "

"Screw off."

"Oh, Oga, you _asshole_, just hear me — "

Tatsumi covered his ears. "NYA, NYA, NYA, CAN'T HEAR YOU!" he screamed childishly.

"Fine. Don't listen to me — "

"NYA, NYA, NYA — !"

" — even though what I'm about to tell you involves money!" Himekawa finished fast.

"NY — what?" He stopped at the mention of the word "money," something he so desperately needed.

"That's right. _Money. _I have known for a long time that you've needed money, and I know just the thing to get you loaded."

Tatsumi was suspicious of him. Who wouldn't be? But desperation was desperation, and that was it.

"What is it?"

He certainly didn't expect what Himekawa's answer to his problems would be, but _desperation was desperation_.

* * *

><p>With dark eyes, he intently watched her every movement.<p>

She was busy inspecting her china, which was in shattered pieces. They were on her coffee table, and she was kneeling before it. Her orbs were harshly glaring at it as if she was committing internal murder towards who was responsible for the shattering of her china.

From behind her kitchen counter, he stealthily slipped away and immediately hid behind the wall. His back was pressed against the wall, and he waited, checking to see if she noticed his swift movement. He slowly turned his head, peeking around the wall, and saw that she was still glowering at the pieces. He faced forward, breathed in and out, and went down on his knees. He had to crawl all the way to the other side.

He then closed his eyes. He imagined all the strategic techniques and tactics he had done in all the fights he had gone through and all the videogames he had flipped.

_Damn it, I'm acting like such a pussy_, he grumbled mentally. Just _crawling _to the other side of the kitchen didn't take much effort, and the movements weren't even going to be loud.

His left knee moved forward, right knee following after. He crawled and crawled to the other side. His feet were inches away out of sight from her view already. But —

"You _really _are a fool, Oga Tatsumi."

— the bitch caught him.

He sighed and got up from his knees. He faced his impending doom, but he sucked it in like the man he was and braced himself.

Before she said anything cold and emotionless, he held up his hands. "Hilda, just hear me out, okay? I promise you that what I'm going to say isn't stupid," he said. His eyes gauged her reaction.

She folded her arms over her chest and nodded.

He grinned at that. "Okay, so I'm broke. I'm poor. I have _nothing_. No money, _nada_. I haven't paid my rent for as long as I can remember, and the landlord's gonna put a shit on my ass when she comes back from her vacation. I need help. I'm asking _you_, of all people, so that makes me _desperate_."

"Are you asking me for money, then?" she inquired.

"Uh … in a way, I am, but we're _both _gonna get paid."

Perplexity was in her eyes. "And what does that mean?"

He was now going to fire it at her. "'Kay, see, just earlier, Himekawa — you remember the arrogant son of a bitch that night in the bar, right? — rang me up and gave me hope for not dying as a hobo."

She looked like she was getting impatient. "Can you just cut to the chase already?" she snapped.

"Jeez, calm down. I'm just buildin' the suspense here." He took a deep breath, the suspense building up even more. "He gave you a job."

She gave him a blank stare.

He kept grinning.

Staring.

Grinning.

(Goodness, déjà vu, anyone?)

"What … _job_?"

"Ya ready for it, Hilda? He … gave you a job as a stripper at his bar!"

Staring.

"See, he told me that I could be your _agent_, and while you did your thing up on that stage, you'd be getting paid and _I'd _be getting paid, too! We'll split 50/50! Himekawa thinks that you'll boost up his budget since apparently your knockers are impressive in his eyes." He rolled his eyes. "The guy's a pervert, but he's _loaded_, so … yeah, there ya go. You in?"

Gradually, Tatsumi felt the air thicken. An ominous feeling began to surround the abode, encircling his being. Apprehension tickled him. Her stare was starting to unnerve and irritate him.

"I think it's best if you _say something_, y'know," Tatsumi told her irritably.

It happened so fast. Her eyes glimmered with hatred and death. She grabbed a dagger out of her skirt's pocket and threw it. It sped by him, hitting the wall.

Her head was down, bangs forming a dark shadow over her face.

"I move to this apartment building for independence and peace, but suddenly, I'm stuck with fools!" Her head snapped up. She walked towards him until she was inches away from his face. "I had to deal with two imbeciles that broke my china, and I can't find them! Do you know how it feels like to be so furious at someone that you can't inflict agony upon? I had to deal with a lecherous man who is, I must say, incredibly affluent, but has a personality that _reeks _of immorality! Everywhere I go there are always insolent fools that don't me any justice! And _you_." Her hand curled around the fabric of his shirt.

_This bitch gone _past _crazy_, he thought, staring at her wide eyes.

"_You _always seem to cause me _nothing _but havoc! What the _hell _is wrong with you? You are such an idiot! You think I'm going to agree to your stupid negotiation? Do you think I _want _to flaunt my skin for revolting men that have absolutely no dignity for _money_? Do I look like someone like that, Oga Tatsumi? _Answer me!_" She ended with a heave.

His eyes glanced left, then right.

"So … is that a _no _… ?"

Let's just say his face got another beating.

* * *

><p>"In return for your unsurprising foolishness, you must help me with my little to-die list."<p>

Tatsumi raised an eyebrow, rubbing two icepacks against his left eye and his jaw. He had to get a couple more for his stomach, sides, and, uh, somewhere else."'To-_die_ list'? Isn't it supposed to be a 'to-_do _list'?"

Hilda began to gather her broken pieces of china into one neat pile. She opened up a large Zip-loc bag and placed them inside gingerly, one by one.

"The list consists of the fools that are to _die _by my hands," she explained casually.

"Damn, it's like there's no end to your craziness." He said that underneath his breath.

However, she seemed to have heard that and threw a shoe at him.

And now he had to get even _more _icepacks for his cheek. Or maybe a band-aid, because he felt something drip from his cheek.

"First on my list are the two boys that smashed my china into pieces, second is that _damn _Himekawa, third is this bastard that happens to — "

Tatsumi stared at her with a bored, blank expression. Her voice was droning on and on and on. Frankly, he didn't give a damn about what she was PMS-ing about. He had nothing to do with her, anyways. They were just neighbors. That was it.

But _shit_, she didn't agree to his offer. It was a pretty good offer in his opinion. Maybe he should've worded what he had told her correctly. He probably should've said that she could wear those outfits that had large feathers sticking out from the back instead of provocative clothing. She'd look like a peacock, but … at least she wouldn't look that showy.

" — and I'm saving the _worst _for last," she ended, brushing her hands on her mini ruffled skirt.

_She'd make a lot of dough with that body_, he thought. Yeah, okay, he wasn't the type to try and charm a girl into bed. He just wasn't like most guys in that area. And yeah, he never had a girlfriend (and he is _not _gay), but his first kiss was at a party … even though the girl all but smashed her alcohol-dripping lips on his. But he was still a _guy_. He could tell that she had a pretty sexy body and that she was gorgeous. Those hormonal thoughts, however, weren't major in his brain. They were like info that just comes and goes.

"Oh, and who could _that _possibly be?" Tatsumi questioned monotonously, tossing her throw pillows in the air and catching them.

Hilda walked up to him, snatched the pillows from him, and bent down until her face was menacingly inches from his.

"Who else but _you_?" Hazardousness seeped out of her tone.

"W-W-W-_Wait_, hold up, hold up." Tatsumi waved his hands over his face, shaking his head.

She raised an eyebrow and stood back upright, hands on hips.

"What the hell did I do to you? Why am _I _on your hit-list?"

She scoffed. "Don't bring your idiocy into this, Oga. That very moment when you came to my apartment and _complained _so childishly triggered the chain of fools I had to deal."

"You're — You're _kidding _me, right?"

"If it weren't for _you_, my china wouldn't have been broken by those idiots."

"Hey! That china thing was probably broken _before _I complained, so don't blame that shit on me!"

"Your disrespectful friend Himekawa had the audacity to ask me if I could show my assets and see if I qualify enough to be his '_worker' _in that horrendous club. _And _— "

Tatsumi cut her off, "That arrogant ass _isn't _my friend, all right? And I didn't _know _he was going to ask that."

She glared hard at him. "_You _asked me the same question, idiot!"

"Yeah, but I didn't know he asked it, too! C'mon, Hilda, give me some credit here. All the morons you encountered have _nothing _to do with me. Yeah, sure, I might know some of 'em, but I'm not the cause of any bad luck you're getting."

Hilda let out a little _hmph_. "It's too late. They're all permanent on my to-die list and _so are you_." She smiled wickedly. "Now, let's go."

He groaned. He just really wanted to crash out on her couch. His hangover was coming back. "Go _where_, exactly?"

"We're going to visit those china murdering fools."

_Fuck, shit, DAMN IT! _Tatsumi roared internally.

* * *

><p>Tatsumi was on the ground, kneeling, with his head hanging between his legs. He was groaning and complaining to himself. He had been doing those two actions loudly, unashamedly, but Hilda had shoved a stick down his throat for doing so.<p>

Was it _possible _for someone to be so volatile?

(He felt like a hypocrite thinking that.)

Speaking of the demon, Hilda was looking through a pair of binoculars. They were behind a large bush.

"Let me get this straight again, Hilda," Tatsumi began, desperately wanting to go home, "if you knew where the two guys were at _all along_, why the hell did I need to come with you?"

"So you could experience the pain I would inflict upon you in person — though, 18 times worse," she explained simply.

_What's her deal with the number 18?_

He lifted himself up slightly until his eyes were peeking over the bush. The two boys he had beaten up were busy playing poker with a bunch of other guys. They were apparently at their buddy's house, having a poker night.

"How'd you find their location?" he asked, not really caring. The silence was annoying him.

"Alaindelon patched me up with some sources."

"'Aladdin'?"

_"Alaindelon."_

"Who that?"

"Someone."

"Real specific, Hilda."

"Oga Tatsumi, will you shut the hell up already? You'll blow our cover!"

"Tch, like my _voice _is gonna blow our cover. Yeah, 'cause your huge tits have absolutely _nothing _to do — "

She shoved a rock inside his throat.

Tatsumi clutched his throat, falling down to the ground on his side. "UCK OOH, ITCH!" he roared incoherently, _actually _saying, "Fuck you, bitch!"

Abruptly, all the males at the table stood up. Every single pair of eyes immediately flashed towards their direction.

And thus, their cover was blown.

* * *

><p><em>Hey, this is Oga Tatsumi. Say what fuckery ya gotta say or grow some balls already.<em>

_beep –_

"OGA, WHERE THE HELL IS MY PHONE? I KNOW YOU STOLE IT! YOU KEEP BREAKING YOUR DAMN STUFF AND STEALING MINE! UGH!"

* * *

><p><strong>—<strong> & ze adventures begin.

y'all shan't worry, though;

the main plot will worm its way with the sub-conflicts.

Review_!_


	4. Peeeeew

It was quiet, eerily so.

Tatsumi and Hilda stood behind the bush they had been hiding behind. The two idiots Hilda wanted to commit extreme pain on and the other men were standing up from their chairs. The cards were abandoned. Eyes, eyes, and eyes were targeted at the duo before them.

One of the idiots, Ryuu, gasped. He pointed a shaky, accusatory finger towards them. "AW, _HELL NO_!" he yelled. He elbowed the other idiot frantically. "REMEMBER THEM?"

The other idiot nodded vigorously, fear and hatred mixing in his orbs. He faced his companions. "Ya see that guy over there? He's the one that freakin' messed us up! And the blondie next to him? Don't let her beauty deceive you! She _allowed _the asshole to kill us!" he explained hurriedly.

"Tch, tattle-tales," Tatsumi muttered lowly.

The rest of the men didn't move.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU MORONS DOIN'? GO AFTER THEM!"

They seemed to snap out of it. All of them let out a warrior cry and charged after the two. Magically, some of them were holding bats, which they weren't before.

Tatsumi calmly waited until they came closer and closer. He snuck a glance at Hilda who was doing the same thing except she was glaring murderously at every single one of them.

He snickered to himself. _Poor fuckers_, he thought.

He cracked his knuckles.

* * *

><p>"Bastard!"<p>

Tatsumi struggled behind the tied ropes around his wrists. He looked to his right and saw Hilda scowling hard when the idiots' minions tightened the rope around her torso. The tall minion grinned at her lecherously, gaping at her huge breasts.

"Anticipate your _doom_," he informed them, wickedly smiling.

Tatsumi glared at him.

As soon as he left, he regarded Hilda. "The hell was _that_, Hilda?" he asked incredulously.

She didn't regard him back. "Apparently they had other men hiding. Somehow they knew of our attack," she answered. "Ugh, they're despicable — making other people fight their battles."

For once, Tatsumi agreed with her. He didn't like it when people hid behind their problems and made other people face it for them. They were always people that had a bone to pick with him. He would always confront them even if it cost a few broken bones or so. It was all about self-respect and strength. If you didn't have the strength to face your problems, you were weak and you would lose a large amount of respect for yourself, even if unconscious of it.

Tatsumi eyed the ropes around Hilda. He noticed that they tied more ropes around her than him — which was kind of offensive. They either thought that she was more of a threat than him, or tying her up was just a disgusting sight of pleasure for them.

He attempted to break out of the ropes, but they were freakin' tight.

He needed to think of a way to get the hell out of these ropes. The dude tied it so tightly that his skin would burn if he moved just a little bit. He felt his circulation cutting off bit by bit. He contemplated scooting the chair closer and closer to Hilda, but the movements would make a lot of racket. He also didn't have anything sharp that could cut through the ropes. It could work if he had anything sharp; he saw people do that in movies, and they work 99% of the time.

Loud laughter broke his planning. Straight ahead, he could see the two idiots and their minions playing poker around the table as if they weren't there. It enraged him so much.

"You are a fool."

Tatsumi swung his head towards Hilda.

"What'd you say?"

It annoyed him so much when she didn't even look at him _once_, not even a simple quick glance. "You heard me."

"You think I'm in the mood for your bitching, woman?"

"Just admit it."

"Admit _what_?"

"That you're a fool. An idiot. A moron. A _weakling_."

Weakling. She fuckin' said _weakling_.

Tatsumi absolutely _despised _people that called him weak. He was anything _but _a weakling. He could probably take a few jeers like "asshole," "moron," and "idiot," but … _damn it_, he didn't like _"weakling." _

He had practically fought all the time during his whole high school years. Most of the fights were out of temper and out of reluctance. But he had retaliated to those bold enough to call him out, because he never backed down from a fight. There were times when he just didn't want to fight anymore. But even though he felt like that, at rare times, he _never _considered himself a weakling.

And this _woman_, who he had no relation or connection _whatsoever _with, had the freakin' nerve to call him that.

Her green eyes were penetrating through him, but her words delved in more than them.

"You're an idiot, Oga."

"Shut up," he said, his rage inches away from the brim, from _exploding_.

"It's the truth, isn't it? I knew it from once single glance at you."

"Bitch, watch it."

"You're a weak fool."

_Snap._

And the rage spilled.

Red, red, red. That was all he saw. He gritted his teeth so hard they could shatter instantly. A vein throbbed hazardously on his forehead. His arms fought intensively against the ropes, biceps and triceps bulging out.

_"RAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" _he roared.

_Peeeeew._

Open-mouthed and wide-eyed, Hilda snapped her head towards him.

A look of extreme relief replaced his "rage." Tatsumi sighed happily and visibly relaxed.

"Damn, I was holdin' that in too long," he remarked casually.

Dejected, the blonde dropped her head, hopeless.

Tatsumi sent her a glare. "Hey, why'd you call me a weakling, huh? It's not my fault that we got caught. You shouldn't have shoved that damn rock down my throat, you know. Don't go pointing fingers, Hilda," he snapped.

Hilda sighed audibly, head still hanging. "Oga Tatsumi … after your relief of flatulence, I don't know what to think about you anymore." She remained silent after that.

Confusion washed over him. What the hell? She was just asking so bitchy and nasty towards him earlier, and now she looked as if someone broke her heart … or something like that.

The moron that tied him and Hilda up walked up to them from the table.

"Hey!" he shouted. "You guys are messin' with our concentration over there! I lost my chips, lost my poker face, and lost my freakin' _dignity_ earlier 'cause of your loudness, asshole!"

Tatsumi spat in his direction. "What _dignity_?"

The dude began talking his mouth off. He was too damn loquacious. It was annoying. He needed to shut up. Fast.

"You know what? Fuck this shit."

Abruptly, Tatsumi forced himself to stand up, ignoring the strain his leg muscles were making and the awkward position he was making. His biceps and triceps started doing its tricks. He grunted; face turning red and tight, veins popping out, and eyes clenched tightly together.

He wasn't going to play games anymore. He was tired. He was hungry. He was mad.

_Snap, snap, snap, snap_

The ropes broke free. They fell around the heaving individual silently.

Said individual was slouched over, panting and panting. His form was trembling. He lifted his head up, a devious glint and a maniacal grin shining on his face.

The minion gasped in horror. He started walking backwards, stumbling. He ran to his companions, crying for help. All of them turned towards the volatile 18-year-old, eyes widening fast.

Tatsumi wasted no amount of time. He let out a roar of violence and charged towards the group. He immediately began beating down the first one in sight. He punched. He kicked. He elbowed. He smacked. He pounced. He tickled.

A ginormous guy came out of nowhere and belly-flopped on top of Tatsumi. All breath inside of him flew out of his mouth. He struggled underneath the cholesterol smothering his being. With a growl, he effortlessly threw the guy off of him, making him land on a few other guys.

He took a look of his surroundings … and saw that the two idiots were left.

And someone was with them.

Someone that was ready to wreak immense kill on them.

"What the — _Hilda_?" Tatsumi spluttered out. "Weren't you just tied up?"

Hilda didn't spare a glance at him, too busy glowering at the two before her. "You were taking too long; I had to do what I had to do," she simply answered. "Now, shut up. This requires … total … silence."_"_

_"NOOOOOOOO. PLEASE NOOOOOOOO!" _Ryuu begged at the top of his lungs.

_"HILDA-SAN! I HAVE A CAT! AND THAT CAT _NEEDS _ME! DON'T DO THIS! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" _the other idiot begged.

She struck.

* * *

><p>Warily, Tatsumi watched her every move. He was leaning against the kitchen counter – apparently the woman didn't have any bar chairs — and was waiting for Hilda to finish putting some ice inside the plastic bag.<p>

"Quit staring at me," Hilda said once she finished. She tossed the tied-up bag to him, which he caught without fail.

He inspected the bag closely. "Just makin' sure you don't add any toxic inside," he informed her. Once he saw that the bag wasn't adulterated, he pressed it against his bruises.

"Well, I didn't."

"But you _could_."

"I didn't," she repeated. "I said it before, Oga. You're the last. Be happy."

_Far from it_, he thought, scowling.

"So what am I getting?" He switched from the forehead bruise to the neck bruise, caused by Hilda. As a matter of fact, although he had gotten in a lot of pain with those freaks, most of his bruises were from her.

She blankly stared at him. "For what, exactly?"

"As a thanks."

"Thanks for what?"

"For _helping _you."

"Helping me with what?"

"Dammit, woman!" he shouted, standing straight. "What are the thanks I'm getting for helping you beat up those punks?"

She scoffed. "As if _you _were of any help."

_Holy mother — _"I beat up all the guys for you!"

"I didn't ask you to beat up anyone."

"You're ridiculous. You're fuckin' ridiculous. Are you seriously gonna be like that?" he asked her incredulously. _After all the _shit _I've been through, the least she'd do was be _grateful_!_

Hilda walked two steps until he had to crane his neck down to look at her. She didn't look as intimidating — as if _she _could intimidate _him _— once he noticed that she was shorter than him. But her eyes showed that she haughtily thought he was beneath her.

"I only asked you to accompany me just so you could see the pain I would inflict on those buffoons, calculate the pain by 18 or more, and anticipate the 18 or more times death that would be released upon you. That's it. I didn't ask for any of your help."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Then what's with the whole 'weakling' thing and all those damn insults you were throwing at me?" His tone was deadly serious.

She was silent for a moment. "It was a test," she finally answered. Her eyes held ambiguity.

"Did I pass?" For once, he didn't know what to think of her.

Both failed to have noticed that they were at least a … certain _distance_.

"The answer is still in the making." And she still didn't know what to think of him.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

The duo's heads veered towards the white-headed 18-year-old standing at the threshold of the kitchen. His eyes were wide, mouth gaping with shock. He slowly held up an accusatory, shaky finger.

_"YOU," _the white-headed guy announced in an ominous tone, eyes glaring, glaring, and glaring.

"What?" Tatsumi questioned dully.

He advanced towards them, stumbling at times. The air didn't even change. There was no tension in the air. Both thought that he was just experiencing his monthly gift.

"FIRST YOU STEAL MY PHONE, _WHICH _I WANT BACK, AND NOW YOU STEAL MY DAMN WOMAN!" he yelled, complaining.

"What?" An icy snap.

"Huh?" Confusion.

_"Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?"_

Three heads turned towards the other threshold.

Silence.

And, of course, it was broken by none other than —

"Who the hell's the Hulk with the pigtails?"

* * *

><p><strong>— <strong>sorry for the late update, guys.

things … have been pretty hectic for me.

forgive me_?_ :

i even plugged in some _teeny-tiny _romance.

Review_!_

… no_?_


	5. I Want Croquettes

Furuichi glared sharp daggers at Tatsumi, who was snoring his way on the couch. His head was dropped on the top of the couch, legs sprawled open. Drool was inching down his mouth bit by bit.

"That bastard," Furuichi grumbled. He threw a pillow at him. "Wake up! Bastards don't deserve to sleep! You are a freakin' man-whore, Oga! Wake up!" He threw another pillow, much to Hilda's chagrin, but Tatsumi's hand shot out and caught it.

Ominously, his head lifted up. A glint so maniacal shone in his dark eyes. He pulled his arm back, hand tight on the pillow, and threw. The pillow hit Furuichi in the face, and the strong impact made him backflip in the air, off the couch he was on.

Hilda, ignoring the two fools' childish antics, turned towards Alaindelon. She was sitting next to Tatsumi, leg crossed over the other.

"Is there anything wrong, Alaindelon?" she inquired coolly.

Alaindelon looked reluctant. "It seems as if you're first month's rent is due, Hilda-san," he replied.

"'Rent'?"

"Yes, rent. I came by to inform you that in case you have forgotten, Hilda-san."

Tatsumi regarded Hilda, grinning. "Hey, you didn't pay your rent, too? High-five!" He held up a hand. She didn't return anything.

"When is this rent due?"

"You have until Friday, Hilda-san."

Her eyebrows furrowed down. "That's two days from now. I don't … have enough money to pay for that amount."

Furuichi shot up from the ground, suddenly recuperated. He ran over to her, kneeling down in front of her. He placed a hand to his chest, eyes twinkling with passion, infatuation, and lust.

"Hilda-san!" he shouted out. "I will gladly help you pay your — !"

"Who the hell are you?"

The twinkling grew dull. "H-Hilda-san, remember? At the grocery store? I offered to pay for your groceries since you — "

She turned away from him flippantly. "I remember no such thing."

"But you were wearing a sexy — !"

She flashed him a dangerous look. _"I remember no such thing."_

Furuichi _eep_ed and scampered over to the couch, frightened as a kitten.

Tatsumi rolled his head toward Hilda. "You should pay that rent on the due date. The landlord's gonna slap a bitch on you if you don't," he informed her.

"I will!" she snapped angrily.

He was taken aback by her sudden anger. _What's with the heat? _

Quickly after, Hilda kicked them out including Alaindelon, the man who supposedly works for her. Her eyes seemed troubled by something. Not that he cared or anything.

Tatsumi walked down the streets with his hands in his pockets. He was completely _exhausted_. His body was in extreme pain. He had so many responsibilities to deal with. Put simply, he was in deep shit.

The landlord was coming back from her vacation in a few days already. Where the hell was he going to get the money for this month's rent? Hell, where the hell was he going to get the money for _all _the rents he had missed? He had nothing in his pockets. He couldn't even afford a gallon of water anymore.

He should ask his parents, but he couldn't. As soon as he graduated from high school, he had told his parents straight up that he wanted to live independently. He had no problems with them, but it was more like a pride thing. He wanted to show that he was mature enough to live alone and so he could have the space he so longed for years. With his current situation, he couldn't ask them. It would ruin his pride, and it would prove that for the past six months, he had been in debt, which wasn't a sign of any maturity whatsoever.

He sighed, muttering a string of profanities to himself.

"Oga," someone called out in front of him.

"What?"

"You're going to my house, aren't you?"

"Obviously, dumbass."

"Haha, screw off. Anyways, so you're going to my house, right?"

"I just said so, idiot."

" … Then why the hell is _he _walking with us?"

Tatsumi noticed that Alaindelon was obediently following in step with Furuichi. Said giant was glancing every so often at Furuichi, blushing and giggling to behind his hand like a little schoolgirl as he looked away.

"Hell if I know."

"So fuckin' _helpful_."

* * *

><p><em>SLAP!<em>

A red-hot stinging sensation spread throughout Tatsumi's forehead like wildfire. His eyes opened wildly from the out-of-nowhere pain. He sat up and grabbed the piece of paper that was slapped so rudely, so painfully, on him. He snatched it from his forehead and looked for who was responsible for this.

Of. Course.

Hilda was at the foot of his bed, arms crossed over her chest, unsurprisingly.

"And what is it _THIS TIME_?" Tatsumi yelled at her. He was tired. He was aching. He was hungry. He was broke. It was all because of her, excluding the latter.

"Just look at the paper," she ordered.

Why did he put up with her? Why? He could've easily grabbed her around the waist, hoisted her on his shoulders, and threw her out of his apartment. It was that _simple_. He actually kind of blamed himself for even dealing with her and getting involved in her mess, although it was mostly by sheer force.

He sighed and muttered strings and strings of profanity underneath his breath as he smoothed out the paper.

_HOW TO GAIN EASY MONEY IN ONE EASY WAY:_

_1. Get married._

Wow. Just wow.

Tatsumi was speechless. He usually had some sort of commentary for everything even if it was completely random. And right now, seeing this piece of paper spouting out ridiculousness, actually had the power to render him speechless.

No, actually, scratch that — this _woman _standing in front of him shocked him to the point of speechlessness.

"You're crazy," Tatsumi muttered.

Hilda raised an eyebrow, silent as ever.

"You are _fucking crazy_." He crumpled the paper and threw it heedlessly to wherever. "After all the shit you've put me through, Hilda, you think that I'm actually going to fucking _marry _you? What the hell? And you thought my idea was ridiculous? I don't even _like _you. Hell, I still don't even _know _you — other than the fact that I know you're the insanest bitch I've ever met. God, I usually don't talk _this _much, but _what the fucking hell is going on in your fucking head_?" He groaned and fell back into the covers.

This was too much. He needed to let off some steam. Yelling at her wouldn't do any good. He had to break something. He had to chow down on some meat or something. He needed to beat up some poor sucker. He just had to vent his anger out right now.

Hilda cleared her throat.

"I want croquettes," he grumbled.

"So, Oga, is that a _yes_?" She was as blunt as hell.

Damn. This felt like some kind of reverse d_éjà vu_ or something.

* * *

><p>"'Kay, so lemme get this straight."<p>

_Munch, munch, munch._

"You're broke."

"Somewhat."

"No, you're broke from what you've told me. I mean, your apartment only has a couch and throw pillows."

"I have appliances."

"That you're _renting _from the landlord, who's as batshit crazy as you are."

_Sigh._

_Munch, munch. BURP. Sip, sip, siiiiip. BURP._

"You need to pay your rent, and you've got debts to handle."

"Yes, that's what I just said earlier, fool."

"Fuck off, I'm just tryin' to let these things sink in."

_Roll eyes. Sip._

"Damn," Tatsumi commented. He leaned back against his chair, drinking his bottle of soda casually. "You've come to the point of desperation, huh?" _Just like me._

"I'm not _desperate_. This is just an idea," Hilda corrected, biting some of her croquette delicately.

"Yeah, to get married to _me._" He shuddered. He suddenly had a mental image of Hilda donning a wedding gown and approaching him with demon eyes and a whip.

"I didn't say that."

He turned his head to her. "But you — "

"Yes, but I didn't say you were going to get married to _me_, specifically." She set down her food. "You're going to get married to someone I will personally choose. We share the money you gain from your rich beau, 80/20. You can already guess who's getting the twenty percent profit." She gave him a knowing look that clearly said, _"You, bitch."_

Tatsumi still thought her idea was far more ridiculous than his. She could rock the stripper look. But he couldn't get married at eighteen — and to someone he didn't even _know_!

"I don't know which is more stupid: me and you getting married or me getting married by someone _you _chose." He downed his drink.

"It's an _idea_, Oga. It's not like it's going to happen already."

"Yeah, well, it's a stupid idea. You think I'm actually going to submit to this thing?"

"You think I'm going to dress up so skimpily for money for _you_?"

"_And _you, too!" Tatsumi sat up straight from his chair, regarding her properly. "I didn't single you out from my deal."

"Neither am I." She stared defiantly at him.

Tatsumi did hear some stories and stuff on how marriage did help couples financially. He didn't believe it, because that usually related to rich people. He was broke. Hilda was broke. If you put two negatives together, you got a —

_Huh._

— positive.

At least he remembered _something _in high school.

"Fine," Tatsumi agreed, a glint in his eyes.

Hilda's eyebrows furrowed at his sudden agreement. " … What?"

He grinned widely, as if he was suddenly a genius. "Let's get married."

She snorted in disgust. "For the last time, you damn fool, I didn't mean — "

"Yeah, I _know _you didn't mean that. But if we get married, we can combine our finances together."

"Our finances would equal _nothing _added together. Also, our debts would add on together, thus ruining our lives even more. I'd kill you already."

"But there's also the planning of the wedding and all that shit."

He could see that Hilda was catching on. "Ah, yes … Our families will hear of this and want to take part in our betrothal, which means — "

He inputted, "They'll want to help by giving us some money. There's also the bachelor/bachelorette's parties. Gift-givings."

A smirk appeared on her face. "And we would be able to pay off our debts."

"And I get to eat _real _ramen!"

"So, it's settled then? We're going to get married." She looked disgusted at saying that, but he couldn't blame her. The feeling was _definitely _mutual.

"Yup."

"One thing, however."

_Ugh, this woman. _"And _what _is that?"

"We have to prove to our friends and families that we actually love each other," Hilda informed him. "They won't believe us if we show that we hate each other."

"Hell fucking _no_!" He blanched at the thought of … doing stuff with Hilda.

She glared at him. "It's crucial. If we don't, this plan won't survive. It's not like I actually want to plant my lips on yours or even stand within three feet next to you."

"Well, you're sitting like a foot and a half away from me, so … "

She gave him a look. "We have to do this, Oga. It's for the money, nothing else, all right?"

Tatsumi was desperate. And like he said, _desperation was desperation_.

He sold his soul to the devil by nodding and saying, "Yeah, sure, whatever. Stop finishing the croquettes!"

Or, well, not really. But … y'know.

* * *

><p><strong>—<strong> & yet another late update.

I have a good explanation, though_!_

You see, I noticed the story was dragging on _way too long_, and the main plot wasn't even happening yet. I didn't know what to do, and so I took a break — which lasted on much too longer than I had planned. I also contemplated on trashing the story, because it didn't seem good without Beel in it.

But_! _I was like, "Screw it" & toughened up. This story's gonna happen. Beel's gonna happen.

I'm, like, seriously tired of abandoning stories. The lack of reviews honestly do dishearten us authors; that was also one of the reasons why I took a hiatus. & so … yeah.

Hope you guys stuck around. _Anticipate_ the next chapter … :3

Review_!_


	6. How Romantic

"There's not a sense of romanticism in you at all."

"It's kinda hard to propose to someone that you hate, y'know."

"Oga, are you that big of a fool? Do you not have any intelligence regarding chivalry let alone respect?" She stared down at him, sneering in her eyes.

Tatsumi sighed. "Hilda, my l-l-l — " he forced the horrendous word out " — _love_, will _please _do me the honor of _fucking marrying me already_?" he spat out, fed up with all of this.

Hilda glared at him. "How _romantic_." Then — "No."

_Someone, kill me now. _"Can't we just not do this? We're not _really _even marrying."

"But we are. We're going through the entire process, and it all starts with your damn proposal." She crossed her arms over her chest. "You have to do this repeatedly until it becomes convincing."

He was scared to ask, but curiosity got the best of him. "Convince _who_, exactly?"

"Everyone."

"Everyone," he parroted.

"Yes, everyone. You have to propose to me publicly. That way, we wouldn't have that much difficulty proving to our friends and family that we are madly in love."

He slid a hand down his face hard. "I think I need to vomit out the shit you're giving me," he said, mind overwhelmed from everything. Why the hell did he bring up the idea of _marrying _her?

It was official. Oga Tatsumi was the epitome of stupidity. He knew he was stupid, but he now reached a whole new level. He had to get some new bolts and screws for his brain … if he even _had _one.

Wait a minute.

This woman must be getting to him. Mentally, he was starting to think such negative thoughts about himself. Yeah, okay, he was aware of the fact that he could be stupid, but he wasn't a complete _moron_. Only Hilda (that bitch) and other punks (those assholes) thought such idiotic opinions about him.

"All right," Tatsumi announced slowly. "This time, I'm gonna get this right, Hilda. Then, we're done."

She nodded, impatience written on her face.

"Hilda … " He made sure his voice was low, dramatic, and all other kinds of effects he read in mangas and watched in animes and movies. He bent down on his right knee for the umpteenth time and looked up at her. "Hilda … "

_"What already?" _she snapped.

Yup. That just killed the mood — if there were any at all, anyways.

He growled and stood up really fast. He turned away from her and stormed angrily over to the door to her apartment, his escape.

"And where the hell are you going, Oga? You didn't even propose to me yet!" Hilda yelled out after him.

"Your craziness is giving me a migraine! Let me sleep! Let me get away from your INSANITY!"

"You can't leave, asshole; we're not done!" He didn't need to look to see her menacing face.

He opened the door about to head out before he shouted back, "Well, maybe if you'd just accept my proposal so we can get fucking married already, I wouldn't _be _leaving your ass!" And for the hell of it, he stuck his tongue out at her and slammed the door shut.

As soon as the door closed, he heard something loud hit the door and crack. It startled him, and he was lucky that he closed it just in time.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch," he cursed underneath his breath. He went for his apartment but came face-to-face with —

_"What?"_

"What what?"

Furuichi pointed to Hilda's apartment. "What was _that_?" he said in a shaky voice.

Tatsumi stuck a pinkie in his ear. "What that?"

The white-haired 18-year-old began sputtering about like a total freak. "That — that — heard — thing— right — YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT 'THAT' IS, YOU OBLIVIOUS DUNDER — ack!"

Tatsumi shoved a rock inside his mouth, making his best friend shout incoherent blabs he didn't particularly give a crap about. He took his pinkie out and inspected it briefly.

"Shut up. You're making my headache worse," he informed him.

He went inside his apartment with a choking Furuichi in tow. His legs were on auto-pilot, taking him immediately to the nearest source of comfort — the couch. He swiftly lifted himself over the back of the couch and plopped on it comfortably. He folded his arms at the back of his head and closed his eyes. This had been what he was anticipating for.

Furuichi managed to yank the rock out of his mouth. Apparently Tatsumi shoved it inside, making the rock stuck behind his teeth. He spat out the dirt and wiped his tongue with the sleeve of his shirt. He caught sight of the sleeping man before him.

"You cannot get married to Hilda, Oga," he told him. "Hilda's _mine_."

Tatsumi sighed lowly. "Relax, Furuichi. It's not like I _love _her or anything," he assured him.

"Then why the hell are you getting married to her?"

"For the money."

"The — The _money_? You're doing this for _money_? That's a new low even for _you_! Using Hilda to get money … Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shame on you!" He tapped his pointer finger on the other disappointingly.

"Newsflash, _dumbass_ — she's in this, too." And the entire time, he never once opened his eyes.

His face was filled with incredulity. "She's _okay _with you _using _her?"

Having enough of Furuichi's dumb assumptions, Tatsumi opened his eyes and sat up, bringing his legs down to the floor. He looked at his stupid friend.

"She doesn't love me, idiot! We're using _each other_. We _both _need the money. Got it? Now, let me sleep." With that, he resumed his original position.

"I'm … so confused."

"Oh yeah? Stay confused and scram."

"And how exactly did you and Hilda-san meet?" Furuichi asked grumpily. "You two seem close." He cast a jealous glance towards his friend.

"Through some punks," Tatsumi replied. "And we're not close. I told you — I don't like her."

"Just 'cause you don't like her doesn't mean you're not close with her, y'know." He sniffled, crossing his arms over his chest and hunching over. He puffed out his cheeks, eyebrows furrowed. "She trusts you."

What Furuichi had "BULLSHIT" written all over it. It was, by far, the strangest thing to travel out of the 18-year-old's mouth, and that was saying something.

Tatsumi opened his eyes fast and sat up, shooting Furuichi a disbelieving look. "The hell? _Trusts _me? She barely tolerates me, stupid! What gave you that fucking idea?"

Furuichi gave him the _duh _look. "It's obvious, you idiot. What kind of woman willingly marries someone she hardly knows?"

"Uh, _Hilda_. She's come to the point of desperation, like me. We're both stuck in the same rut, and this is our fool-proof solution."

"Fool-proof? You're the fool of fools, Oga."

"And you're the creep of creeps."

Furuichi scoffed. "I am _not _a creep!"

"Hilda says so."

"Hil-_Hilda-san's _saying — wait a minute … SEE?" He abruptly stood up from the couch and pointed yet another accusatory finger at him. "You lie! You lie bad!"

"What? What am I lying about?" Tatsumi massaged his temples. This headache was worsening.

"You said Hilda-san doesn't trust you, but she openly gave her opinion about me _to you _that I was a so-called 'creep,' _which _I am _not_!"

"Now you're just being pathetic. Hilda is a bitch, so she speaks her mind. And you _are _a creep, Furuichi. Accept it."

"Skuh-_rew _uh-_you_, ass — "

"ACCEPT THE COLD, HARD TRUTH AND LEAVE MY FUCKIN' HOUSE SO I CAN FUCKIN' SLEEP AND FUCKIN' DRAMATICALLY THINK ABOUT MY WORRIES!" Tatsumi roared at the top of his lungs, reaching his temperamental stage.

Furuichi cowered from his intense volume. He held up his hands and waved them up and down. "All right, all right. Touchy, touchy … I'm going now. Jeez," he said, rolling his eyes. He headed for the door.

Tatsumi sighed heavily and plopped back onto the couch, muscles instantly relaxing on the somewhat pleasing sofa.

Furuichi opened the door and made a motion to leave. However, before he left, he quickly shouted out vehemently, "YOU AND HILDA LOVE EACH OTHER, DON'T YOU? YOU'RE JUST KEEPING IT ON THE DOWN LOW TO KEEP HER AWAY FROM M — ACK!" His face was hit by another rock.

Tatsumi finally began to sleep.

_Gurgle, gurgle, GROOOWWWL._

He clutched his stomach. "Shit, I'm hungry," he moaned.

* * *

><p>Alaindelon smiled brightly, eyes closed.<p>

"Good Morn — !" he began greeting cheerfully.

"And what the hell does Hilda want?" Tatsumi interrupted, aware of the old man's true intentions. It was the morning. He was still cranky and hated the world right now, especially a certain blonde-haired demon. He didn't want to deal with anyone or anything.

The giant scratched his cheek nervously. It looked like he was trying to avoid Tatsumi's glares. "Hilda-san requested that I send you a message. Initially, she ordered me to verbally send you the message, but it was quite … quite graphic for my taste. So, she wrote it down for you. Let's see." He fished around the pocket of his blazer and took it out. He held the note out with both hands, bowing respectfully.

"Just read the damn note to me. I don't feel like reading."

"But — But I just told you that her words are — "

"Of course they are. She's _Hilda_. This is the twenty-first century, too, old man. Freakin' five-year-olds are saying 'fuck,' 'shit,' and 'asshole' like nobody's business. Get with the program, buddy." He folded his arms over his chest. He gestured by nodding to get him to read the note. "Read it."

Reluctantly, Alaindelon unfolded the note and cleared his throat. "'Fool,'" he read, "'make sure you practice your proposal to me determinedly and intelligently, which might be difficult for you for the latter. I will be out grocery shopping. Yes, I still have money for the necessities. Unlike _you_. After my errands, I will be expecting you in the middle of the park — you better know where; it's near the area where I beat up the two idiots — for your proposal. Do your job, or you will face the consequences. Sincerely, Hilda.'" He paused, seeming more reluctant before continuing: "'P.S., you're still on my list, fucker.'"

Tatsumi was _seething_. How. Dare. She? Somehow, that blondie always got on his nerves.

What the hell did he ever do to her? Everything that happened to her happened to her! That was it. He didn't cause anything. He didn't force those two idiots to be loud and rambunctious just to piss him off. He didn't do anything. He was just living his life, though rather poorly.

She was the one. She was the one ruining his life. All of those accusations were nothing more than a psychological act in venting out her emotions concerning her financial crisis. She was blaming everything on him. She needed help.

"That _bitch_," he hissed.

He veered away from the Hulk and slammed the door in his face.

_Knock, knock, knock_

Tatsumi ignored it. He sat down and stared at the piles of bills mocking him on the coffee table.

_Knock, knock, knock_

" … Oga Tatsumi?"

He lifted up his latest rent, which he didn't dare open. He slammed it on the table and shut his eyes, resting his face on his hands that were propped up on his knees. He began thinking.

"Oga Tatsumi? It's me, Alaindelon. I have yet to depart. There are still some things I have to tell you about. Hilda-san's orders, of course," Alaindelon called out.

"Get away, old man!"

"But it's important!" Did he just stomp his foot?

"I'll let you in when the world's not corrupted!"

"Oga Tatsumi, please! It won't take long, I promise you! Please!"

Tatsumi glowered up at the hallway extending to the front door. He clenched his teeth and blew air out irritably. He got up and trudged towards the door, opening it roughly.

Alaindelon brightened up at the sight of him. "Well, Hilda-san also wanted me to punch you square in the face, but I can never do that to you." He leaned in, hand beside his mouth as if he was telling a secret. "But that's just between you and me, all right?"

And he was, apparently.

_Why the fuck does Hilda have this freakshow as her slave? _Tatsumi thought, eyeing the incredibly tall man up and down with incredulous eyes.

"Good to know. Bye."

_SLAM!_

Said incredibly tall man sighed, smiling gently. "Good man. He's a good man for Hilda," he commented. Soon, an idea sneaked into his mind. "Time to visit Furuichi-dono!" He blushed and skipped merrily to Furuichi's abode.

Tatsumi made his way over to the kitchen to grab a snack. He opened the cabinets and found nothing but a bag of chips. He grumbled to himself and grabbed the bag. He effortlessly opened the bag and began munching, leaning against the counter.

Contemplation began.

Okay, he was going to get married to Hilda. They would receive gifts and lots and lots of money. His parents may not particularly fancy his way of living, but they fell for anything that involved him having a bit of normalcy into his life. They were also gullible suckers. Furuichi would help them out, also giving them some money (by force), and he was pretty sure Alaindelon would chip in, as well, considering the guy's extremely obedient to Hilda.

It _was _a fool-proof plan no matter what Furuichi said. It was not like he himself was intelligent. He and Hilda were going to get through this marriage flawlessly.

… Right?

"No, we're not," Tatsumi muttered. He grabbed a handful of chips and shoved them into his mouth messily. "That bitch and I hate each other. We're both crazy for even thinking about this. And who's to say that our families are even going to believe us?"

He made a motion to grab some more chips, but his hand found nothing but air. There were no more chips. That was his last bag. He had nothing to eat now. Nothing.

Something in him started stirring. He didn't know what it was and didn't find the need to find out. It made him feel really good. Empowered even. He hadn't felt this type of tremendous feeling ever since his high school days.

He had a plan, albeit crazy. He was going to marry the bitchiest bitch of the bitchy world. Even though the idea was super farfetched, it was going to happen. He had to make use of this plan. If this plan worked well, his life would change for the better. He would have food in his kitchen and wouldn't have to worry about eating too much or drinking too much. He would pay off his debts. He would prove to his parents that he was responsible enough to take care of himself. And most especially …

He smirked.

… he wouldn't get beaten up by the landlord.

Tatsumi crumpled the bag and threw it in the trashcan. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt and walked out of his apartment. He passed by many inhabitants of the building with a determined expression stamped firmly on his face. He had one destination to go to. He had one thing to get done. Once he had gotten that one thing done, everything would start falling into place.

He turned around the corner and took the shortcut through the alleyway. He spotted delinquents hanging around. The assumed leader gave him a look and motioned for his followers to beat him up. Grinning, Tatsumi grinned rather bloodthirstily and beat every single one of them without breaking a sweat. He jumped over the fence, leaving the idiots bleeding, moaning, and twitching in pain. He went pass the grocery store that he always shopped in since it was the closest and the cheapest. He jumped down the flight of steps swiftly, hand on railing, and went left. Trees came into view. Families and couples came into view.

She came into view.

Tatsumi's eyes stayed right on the target. His steps were quick, but as soon as he got closer, he slowed. No need to rush. Things were going to get done, anyways.

Hilda stared him down expressionlessly.

He lost the grin. Seriousness surrounded the duo.

Startling the woman, he grabbed a hold of her shoulders out of nowhere and bent down until he was at eye-level with her. He saw her shining green eye, the other concealed. He partially perceived that he was much too close to her, but what the hell, huh?

He took a deep breath and, dramatically —

"Fuck romance, Hilda. Marry me."

* * *

><p><strong>—<strong> this is so _ew_.

like seriously.

Review, my pretties_!_


	7. MY LIFE

Hilda plastered on a fake smile, and that signaled the sign of his ass getting kicked.

Tears of joy prickled at the edge of her eyes. She wiped a single tear away, smiling and smiling so disgustingly. "Oh, _Tatsumi_!" she exclaimed joyfully.

Tatsumi. The woman said "Tatsumi." Someone get him a bucket; he needed to vomit.

Without his permission, she wounded her arms around his neck. "Of _course _I will marry you, darling! What took you so long? What made get out of your shell of cowardice and idiocy? What made you man to finally propose to me so — so _romantically_?" Yeah, he could detect some sarcasm in her voice.

Her face was much too close to his. "I get you're putting on a show — you look stupid, by the way — but could'ja back off just a bit?" he grumbled lowly to her.

Between her smiling teeth, she replied, "You better follow along, or else I will cut your balls off." Then, she giggled loudly and horribly.

Tatsumi didn't know how to explain the situation. Hell, he didn't know how to explain how he _felt _about the situation. He wanted to vomit, but, at the same time, he wanted to hide from everyone else because this just reeked of embarrassment. He also felt slightly uncomfortable being up close and personal with Hilda.

Reluctantly, he placed his hands on her waist and pulled her closer. He put on a fake smile — but he could feel himself grimacing.

"I'm so … happy, Hilda!" he forced out. "I, _Oga Tatsumi_ — " he made sure his name was said out loud so the word could spread out; the things he did for this woman " — am so glad to hear that you're accepting my proposal, because you love me! And … I — I l-_love _you, too! I can't wait to _get out of your demonic claws so I can live in peace_." He spat the last twelve words underneath his breath.

Although he was incredibly pissed off at her, unsurprisingly, he couldn't deny how soft she felt. Were women this soft?

"Tatsumi, sweetie! _Like you can escape from me, dumbass_," she discreetly replied menacingly.

"Bitch."

"Asshole."

"Tittie."

"Dickless."

His eye twitched at that. "Psychoshit."

"Dumbfuck."

"Demon."

"Barbarian."

He was about to retort another clever reply, but two middle-aged ladies, one short and one tall, came up to them, tears in their eyes. One of them sniffled loudly, and the other plucked a napkin out of a tissue box. What the hell were they doing with a tissue box in the park? Did they know this was going to happen? People these days.

"Stay happy, young ones. You both are beautiful together," the short one said. She regarded him, tears pouring down more. "Take care of her goodies, young man!"

"HAVE BEAUTIFUL BABIES!" the tall one screamed passionately. "HAVE BEAUTIFUL LOVE TOGETHER!" Her brown eyes were wide, and Tatsumi felt like hiding in the corner for some reason.

The two ladies immediately ran away, crying their eyes out. Crazed passion floated around them. Or maybe it was just plain craziness.

"I really am surrounded by fools," Hilda stated irritably.

Tatsumi rolled his eyes at her.

However, none of them once let go of the other.

* * *

><p>Tatsumi settled into his chair after the waiter left from taking their order.<p>

Hilda sipped her iced tea through the straw, glimpsing at him from the corner of her eye. She cleared her throat, posture perfect.

"Quite the display you showed there, Oga," she casually started.

"Yeah, well." He shrugged. He grabbed his soda can and drank from it.

"I expected more from you, which I shouldn't, but you were right in doing that. The sooner, the better."

"Uh-huh."

Her eye twitched at his taciturn responses. "Make sure you prepare everything beforehand. We can't afford to be reckless. The proposal is now out of the way. The next on our list of tasks is to inform our families and friends."

He merely grunted.

"Are you even listening to me? No, better yet, are you even taking this seriously?"

He sighed. He just wanted to peacefully wait for his meal and eat. He certainly didn't want to do that with her around, but he knew that she was stuck with him and vice versa.

"I am."

"Would you quit it with your brief replies?" Hilda finally said angrily.

Tatsumi turned his head from the plant he was staring at and glared at her. "At least I'm replying," he retorted.

"They're aggravating. You're aggravating."

"You're marrying me, so you have to deal with all of my aggravating habits." He was about to stick his tongue out at her, but he didn't want to keep being childish. So, he settled for crossing his arms over his chest and refusing to look at her.

"I don't. You're not the boss of me." She took a deep breath. "You can inform your friends by yourself, but I have to be present when you inform your family. We can convince them easily that way."

Just thinking about Hilda meeting his family made Tatsumi cringe. Who knows what she would do to them? Who knows how they would react? He was going to get disowned right on the dot.

All of a sudden, Hilda's eyes flashed hazardously. For a second there, Tatsumi thought he did something wrong again, but her eyes were looking behind him.

Curiously, but not really caring, Tatsumi lazily looked behind him and saw nothing but people dining about in their tables. He was about to point out that there was no woman wearing the same outfit as her when he saw a rather familiar face.

Recognition flooded his being. "Oh, Kanzaki."

Kanzaki was surrounded by his usual group of comrades, Shiroyama and Natsume. He was at the cashier, most likely paying for the meal he ate.

"You know that fool?" Hilda hissed. "Wait a minute, I shouldn't be surprised. You _are _the one responsible for the list of fools I interacted with."

Tatsumi groaned loudly. "For the last time, I'm not — wait, you're still on that list?" He looked back at Kanzaki. "He's part of it?"

She nodded, still glowering at him. "Yes." She smirked devilishly. "And this is the perfect time to showcase our proposal and conduct my revenge on him. Let's go."

"My meal didn't even come yet!"

"_Let's go."_

"Hilda, I'm hungry. Couldn't you at least reward me for proposing to you?"

"You didn't even propose properly like I _asked _you to."

"You didn't ask me, bitch; you _threatened_ me."

"Same thing. Now, let's go." She stood up from her chair and grabbed his arm, forcibly pulling him out of the restaurant.

Tatsumi pried his arm out of her death grasp once they were outside. His stomach rumbled with hunger. He patted it, frowning. He saw Hilda fast-walk towards the direction Kanzaki and his gang were walking down to. They weren't that far.

Goodness, he wasn't in the mood to beat anyone up. Kanzaki and him were on good terms, somewhat. He didn't want to start anything with him. He usually was down with any fight, but right now, he was hungry.

"Hey! Douche with the ghastly lip ring!" Hilda yelled out, taunting him. "My hubby wants to fight your foolish ass, even your stupid minions!"

Tatsumi's eyes widened at what she was doing. He pulled her to him and bent down, mouth near his ear. "What the hell are you doing?" he whispered frenziedly into it.

"Revenge, Oga. And you better do it right this time. I don't want to get my hands dirty like I did with those two idiots from before."

Kanzaki and his comrades immediately faced them.

"What?" he shouted out. "Who the fuck said that? Bring it!"

_Shit. _Tatsumi got pushed to the front by Hilda. Yet again, he was impressed by her immense strength. But only a little bit!

"Oga? Oga Tatsumi? Did you say that, punk?"

"Me? I was just here, standing!" Tatsumi answered innocently.

"Fuckery. You're known for fuckery and bullshit, asshole! Get your ass over here and let's do this! Come at me, bro!" Kanzaki approached him, cracking his knuckles. His comrades both looked tired and reluctantly followed him.

"That wasn't me! That was the demon behind me!"

"There's no one behind you!" The piercing-donning man before him was now just a few feet away. He grinned sadistically. "I just finished eating, and ya know what? I could burn a few calories. Been havin' a shitty day, too."

"And by _shitty_, he means his constant diarrhe — ," Natsume inputted slyly.

"Stuff it, Natsume!" Kanzaki interrupted.

Tatsumi cursed lowly and turned back to yell at his "fiancée" only to see her relaxingly sitting on the chairs of the smoothie bar near them and drinking her strawberry smoothie. He held out his hands and gave her an incredulous look that clearly said, "Are you freakin' kidding me?" She merely sipped through the fat straw and watched them. It looked like she was smirking.

Kanzaki's voice came about. "Oi! I'm right here!"

Groaning, the 18-year-old turned back to him. Speedily, his opponent's fist came barreling towards his face. His reflexes kicked in, and he caught the fist effortlessly. Kanzaki scowled and brought his other fist, but Tatsumi immediately and nonchalantly lifted his right leg, smacking him straight in the face. Kanzaki was knocked back by the great impact onto the ground. He landed by his comrades' feet.

"You can do it, Kanzaki-san!" Shiroyama encouraged.

"Is your piercing still on your lip?" Natsume asked, a teasing tone light in his voice.

The same adrenaline burst through Tatsumi's veins. He cracked his neck to the side and smirked. Beating up delinquents and other punks was something he had to deal with, and it felt good every time he rose in triumph. But whenever he fought the people from his high school, it was different. It was probably because they were stronger than those loser delinquents that came out suddenly like mosquitoes.

"That it, Kanzaki?" Tatsumi jeered.

Natsume gritted his teeth and forced himself up on his feet, ignoring the cut on his lip and the blood oozing out of it and his nostrils. He wiped the blood off his face. He yelled out a warrior cry and ducked down, aiming for Tatsumi's abdomen. The black-haired teen grinned and, as Kanzaki headed for his stomach, stepped forward once, catching him around the neck. He squeezed it tightly and swiftly fell back. Kanzaki's face yet again smashed against the pavement. He struggled against Tatsumi's grip, gagging and choking.

"Tap out."

"F-F-_Fuck _no," Kanzaki choked out.

Tatsumi squeezed tighter. _"Tap. Out."_

After a few seconds, Kanzaki slapped the ground three times. Tatsumi loosened his hold and stood up. He stretched his arms back and watched Kanzaki gasp for air on the ground.

From the sidelines, Shiroyama was crying for his leader. Natsume shook his head, eyes closed and grinning slightly.

"Still the same ol' Oga," he said to himself.

Weakly, Kanzaki stood up back on his feet. He swayed a bit but caught himself. He stared at Tatsumi with lidded eyes. A glare was in them, but then he chuckled.

"Never hold back, eh, Oga?"

Tatsumi looked past him and saw Hilda walking towards them, smoothie discarded. (Ugh, that woman. He wanted some, too.)

Kanzaki slowly turned back to see her, as well. His eyebrows wrinkled down as if he remembered her from somewhere.

"Happy?" Tatsumi grunted as soon as she was next to him.

"I could've done better," Hilda replied coolly.

_Then why didn't you? _was what he almost said.

"Hey, I know you," Kanzaki announced. He shook his head to wake himself up so he wouldn't collapse. "Y-You're that chick that snapped at me."

Hilda smiled grimly. "Yes. Next time, don't bump into me, or else I will sic my fiancé on your sorry ass," she threatened dangerously.

_Hold the fuckin' ass phone. The bitch say what now? _Tatsumi seized her arm and spun her towards him.

"What? He bumped into you? That's all?" he spat in her face.

Kanzaki raised an eyebrow. "Fiancé?" he repeated. "Interesting." He began appraising the two, calculating on how they would work out.

Hilda glared at him. "Yes, _sweetie_. He bumped into me. And the way he apologized was so improper. He didn't bow down to the ground and beg for my forgiveness."

"I'm gonna make sure to throw you into an asylum, _baby_," Tatsumi seethed.

Shiroyama didn't know how to make of this situation. He merely stared at the couple before him, just … wondering.

But Natsume said happily, "Congrats, Oga. You're not gay."

"I NEVER WAS!"

"Hmph. I'm not surprised you're not cheating on me with Creepichi already."

"I'M NOT CHEATING ON YOU WITH — I'M NOT GAY, WOMAN!"

* * *

><p>Toujou appraised the man before him with disbelieving eyes.<p>

"You're … getting hitched? _You?_" he questioned unconvincingly. "Dude, you're only eighteen!"

Tatsumi wanted to yell at him that he wasn't really getting married. Well, he was really getting married, but he wasn't really getting married at the same time. No feelings were involved other than feelings of desperation, hatred, rage, and uneasiness.

A tiny part of him wanted Toujou to see underneath his ploy. If he did, his "friend" would be able to knock some sense into him literally.

"Wow. Who's the chick?"

Unfortunately, Toujou was a fuckin' idiot.

"Hilda," Tatsumi answered. "She's a new tenant here. Blonde hair, green eyes — she's not hard to miss."

"Blonde hair and green eyes … " The orange-haired man pursed his lips and stroked his chin. He looked confused. "Nah, it doesn't ring a bell. You sure you're not making this up?"

"What the fuck? Why the hell would I make up something like that?"

"Any other quality that stands out?"

"Huge boobs."

"_Ohhhhh_, yeah, I've seen her."

Tatsumi gave him an _are-you-stupid? _look. "Idiot, she's the only blonde-haired, green-eyed chick in this building! How could the boobs give it off?"

"Dunno."

Tatsumi was seriously considering what Hilda said about being surrounded by fools. He didn't realize how much of a fool the fools he was acquainted with were.

"So, yeah, it's her. Pass it along to the landlord, would'ja? Tell her I'm getting married, I'm in love, blah, blah. All that shebang, m'kay? Yeah? Shoots." He stood up and walked to the door.

"Aren't I going to be your best bro or whatever?" Toujou called out, stopping him from leaving.

Tatsumi regarded him blankly. "Ew. No."

"Then who's gonna be your best bro, ass?" the masculine man snapped, obviously offended.

"I dunno. Probably Furuichi." Weren't best men supposed to be the guy that you could rely on? He didn't necessarily _rely _on Furuichi. He always forced him to do stuff for him and made his life a living hell for his sadistic entertainment, consciously and unconsciously.

Toujou gave him a disappointed look. "Oga, you shouldn't be like that. I'm as big as an asshole as you, but even _I _know that's messed up." He shook his head at him.

Tatsumi furrowed his eyebrows. "What? What'd I do?" he asked confusedly.

"You shouldn't lead Furuichi on like that."

"Lead Furu — the _fuck_?"

"Making him your best bro is just gonna hurt the both of you. I'm sure — "

Tatsumi waved his hands in front of him frantically. "Whoa, whoa, hold up — "

" — Furuichi took the news pretty badly. You asking him to be his best bro is like a fuck in the face, dude." He sighed, _tsk_ing three times.

"Why the fuck does everyone think that Furuichi and I are gay? I mean, yeah, there's a high chance _he _is with the way he's — " He broke off, refusing to go into full detail on Furuichi's possible homosexuality. "Anyways, I'm marrying Hilda, which means I'm full-on _straight_."

"Yeah, but you barely showed any interest to any girls, especially Kunieda."

Tatsumi wanted to smack him. "Kunieda doesn't like me, and I don't like her, idiot!" He hated pretending to be madly in love with Hilda, but — "Hilda's the one for me, all right? I … _love _her."

_When can I vomit all this bullshit outta my mouth? _he complained internally.

Toujou narrowed his eyes at him, suspicion clear in them. He carefully and slowly analyzed Tatsumi's face. He attempted to find any signs of dishonesty.

"Huh. Never thought I'd see the day," he finally stated. "'Grats, Oga. When can I meet your wifey?"

It looked like Toujou's stupidity came in handy at times.

* * *

><p>"Why?"<p>

"What's with you and your nonstop questions? Damn."

"You should be nicer to your slaves, Oga."

"Ha! At least Hilda's — never mind."

_Groan._ "Fuck, I'm beat."

"One question."

"You're right; he does ask a lot of questions."

"Tch, see?"

"Just one_ teeny-tiny _question."

_Sigh. _"What?"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?" Furuichi screamed at the top of his lungs, glaring the "couple" lounging about on his bed.

Tatsumi opened one eye at him, relaxing with both arms behind his head. "Problem?"

"YES! YES, THIS IS A PROBLEM! YOU CONSTANTLY ILLEGALLY ENTER MY HOUSE _AND _MY ROOM ALL THE DAMN TIME! AND THERE'S A PERVERTED GIANT THAT SLEEPS UNDERNEATH MY BED. GOOD THING HE ISN'T HERE — !" Someone whacked him with a pillow with great strength, knocking him on the floor.

"You're a migraine. Vanish," Hilda coldly ordered. She was lying beside Oga except her legs were near his head, cushioned into comfy pillows. Furuichi made a mental note to never wash those pillows ever again.

He had tears streaming down his face. "My life … ," he whimpered.

"Furuichi, get me some food. 'M hungry," Tatsumi demanded. "And exhausted because of _some overreacting witch_."

"Ah, yes. I would like a glass of water. Just being around _weak fools that don't know the meaning of revenge and romanticism_ exhausts me."

"Ignore the bitch."

"At night, you won't be able to urinate, because your dick is gone and fed to the dogs."

Furuichi scrambled to his feet. He couldn't take any more of their bantering. He could tolerate Hilda, because she was sexy and the woman of his life (not anymore, though, because of the man-whore that is named "Oga"). But when she was with Tatsumi, he just couldn't take it.

He ran for the door and slammed it shut, ears desperately trying to drown out Hilda's disturbing threats and Tatsumi's annoying voice. He padded down the steps of the stairs and headed straight for the kitchen. His sister was there, and when she saw him, she gave him a look that said, "Why the hell are you my brother?" and departed. He grumbled incoherently to himself and grabbed a glass of water for Hilda.

_Ooh, I'll get the prettiest one for her_, he thought, smiling.

He began searching for the cup. Once he found it, he grabbed what looked like the prettiest cup in the entire world and poured a glass of water in it. He added four cubes of ice, filling each of them with his deep adoration for her. He opened the cabinet and took whatever out of it for Tatsumi. That ass better be grateful for what he was doing for him.

Even though he was only doing this to impress Hilda.

Holding both items, Furuichi bounded up the steps. His mind wasn't racing. He was fine now. Although he had a supposed engaged couple in his room, he was okay. There was nothing to worry about. Nothing … at … all.

"I wanna be on top."

_Aw, hell no. _

"No. I'm already on top, so deal with it."

"I'm used to being on top!"

"I work better when I'm on top."

_No, no, no, no. _Were they doing what he thought they were doing?

"So do I!"

"Ugh, quit being such a baby and start already."

"Not going to till I'm on top."

"I'm getting impatient, Oga Tatsumi. Start."

"I hate being on the bottom. I can't — "

"Start! You're annoying!"

"Oh, fuck you!"

"I'll fuck you up if you say that again."

"_Fuck"? _Furuichi squealed mentally. _In my room? On my bed? _He had to stop them.

With a battle cry, he charged into the room. He thought about shielding his eyes, because he didn't want to see Oga stark naked but he wanted to see Hilda stark naked.

He noticed that he spilled the water. It was dripping on his arm, and it wet his shirt. His love cubes were on the floor, scattered about.

Hilda sighed frustratingly and leaned over, pressing the START button on Tatsumi's controller.

"Hey!" he protested. But he quickly regained control, because he was getting shot repeatedly by her and the other opponents. "Shit! See? I'm not used to the bottom camera!"

"Like I care," Hilda snapped. Her player jumped down the panel and shot Tatsumi's player in the head.

Furuichi sniffled. "MY LIFE!" he wailed.

Tatsumi glanced at his friend. "Give me my chips." He snatched the chips away from him and opened it. But he regretted the action, because it gave Hilda a huge advantage over him and he just got bombed. "Fuckin' shit!"

"Amateur." Hilda looked at the white-haired 18-year-old. "Where's my glass of water?"

"Lost in the depths of despair," Furuichi replied solemnly. He collapsed on his bed and began his emo mode.

The blonde-haired woman scoffed at his pathetic state. "What's with him?" she asked Tatsumi.

"Hell if I know. Guy's been all messed up since dickless times."

"I thought he didn't have one?"

"Exactly."

_My liiiiiiiiife_, Furuichi wept internally.

Out of nowhere, a large arm came out from underneath the bed and stroked Furuichi's hand comfortingly.

* * *

><p><strong>— <strong>yay.

teh plot & randomness intertwined with each other.

& although the latest chapter of _Beelzebub _was mainly focused on Aoi x Oga, i personally liked how Oga asked for permission from Hilda before he went. yeah, he only did that 'cause he knew she would yell at him for taking Beel away from her without her knowing or permission, but it shows how comfortable they are with each other and how their relationship has progressed.

they're so bootiful. :)

yuh.

Review_!_


	8. Shit Has Gone Shit

_Just shoot me now_, Tatsumi complained mentally.

Hilda, with her legs folded underneath her respectfully, bowed her head down. Her eyes were closed. "Thank you for listening so understandingly, Father, Mother," she said sincerely.

Tatsumi's mother had a hand over her mouth. His father was staring at them both with wide eyes. He was also perspiring down his temples, forehead glistening with it. His expression was equaling his wife's.

"I — I don't know what to say," Tatsumi's mother finally said. She faced her husband. "How about you, dear?"

"Um, well … " His father was speechless. He was too busy appraising the blonde bombshell.

Discreetly, Hilda elbowed Tatsumi in the ribs hard. He doubled over, eyes widening, and clutched his stomach painfully. He swiftly glowered his "honey."

Tatsumi's parents gave him a curious look.

"My rib farted," he explained smoothly (not). He saw Hilda glimpsing at him peripherally, signaling him to say something effective. "Ma, Dad … just accept us. Please."

Tatsumi's legs were hurting from sitting like this. He hadn't sat like this in a long time. Actually, he didn't really recall _ever _having to sit like this.

Then, Tatsumi's mother sniffled.

Then, Tatsumi's father started bawling.

"I'm so happy for you, son!" his mother exclaimed ecstatically. She wiped the corners of her eyes, sniffling and sniffling. "You both may be incredibly young, but still — you sure know how to pick 'em, Tatsumi! Just look at those jugs!"

Tatsumi groaned. "Ma … !"

Tatsumi's father sprung into the air. As soon as he landed a couple of feet behind Tatsumi, he slid over to his son, roughly grabbed his head, and forced him to grovel before Hilda.

Tatsumi's father — his eyes were overflowing with tears — faced his soon-to-be daughter-in-law. "Hilda!" he shouted loudly. "This is what I personally call, 'The Sliding Grovel'! And, for the sake of Tatsumi, I shall apologize for him!"

Tatsumi clenched his teeth, suffering from his father's death grip. "Get off of me, old man!" he yelled. He got his dad off of him, not caring that he all but let him fall on his back, and massaged his head.

After he was done, he regarded his idiotic father. "So what? You approve or not?"

Immediately recuperating, Tatsumi's father stood up on his feet energetically. "Of course! Women like her don't fall from trees," he stated.

Tatsumi was about to sigh in relief when his mother asked, "So, when's the due date?"

"Due date? You mean when are we planning to get married?" Hilda questioned.

Tatsumi's mother shook her head, smiling. "Oh, no, no, sweetie. I meant, when are you giving birth?"

_And the fuckery begins_, Tatsumi thought.

"You misunderstand, Mother. I am not — "

"THE BITCH — I MEAN, _MY _BITCH — AIN'T PREGGERS!" Tatsumi roared at the top of his lungs.

"Tatsumi!"

"TATSUMI! DO NOT REFER TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL WIFE AS THAT HORRID WORD! TAKE IT BACK! SLIDING GROVEL STYLE!"

Tatsumi's hand was clutched by a soft, small, strong hand tightly and was pulled down without any warning. He grunted when his knees knocked against the floor.

"Please forgive your son's blunder, Mother, Father," Hilda apologized politely. "That will _never _happen again." He could hear "Bitch, you just fucked up" lying within her words.

Tatsumi's father started bawling again. "Hilda, you are going to be a wonderful daughter."

"Yes. And you are going to shape up our idiotic son in no time!" Tatsumi's mother added in.

Tatsumi realized Hilda didn't let go of his hand, so he made a motion to pry his hand out. However, she kept her grip tight on his hand. He was about to go under extreme measures when she started intertwining their fingers together.

He glanced at their hands. He didn't do his part by intertwining back. His fingers were frozen. He couldn't deny the shock he felt — and something else. But he intertwined back, anyways. They needed to stay in character.

His stomach growled.

"Oh, my son! How could you?" Tatsumi mother chastised. "You're starving your wife!"

"What?" Tatsumi bellowed out. "That wasn't hers; that was — !"

"Ah, I do indeed feel rather hungry and famished. May Tatsumi and I find something to eat in your kitchen?" Hilda smiled slightly. Just seeing her smile made his skin crawl.

"Yes, yes, you may!" Tatsumi's father answered. "And while both of you are at it, I will go look for Tatsumi's album of embarrassing moments!" He sprinted for the stairs.

"If I had known the both of you were going to come over, I would've whipped up something delicious." Tatsumi's mother pouted. "Well, there are some croquettes, though. You can both eat that. They're Tatsumi's favorite, Hilda. Now, I'm going to go and calm your father down. We'll be back!" She winked and left.

Tatsumi relaxed. He just now noticed that he was all tensed up. He stood up and saw that he brought Hilda up, too, since they were still holding hands. She snatched her hand back.

"Let's go to the kitchen," she said. She made a bee-line to it.

Tatsumi followed after her. His nostrils were met with the smell of croquettes. His mouth watered from the deliciousness. He immediately grabbed for one and began munching about.

"You're just like your mother, personality-wise," Hilda commented conversationally. She was leaning against the counter, arms crossed over her chest, watching Tatsumi eat. Her nose wrinkled in disgust when he reached for more.

"Seriously?" Tatsumi said, mouth full.

She nodded.

"Huh."

Tatsumi continued eating the croquettes until there was nothing left. He kind of felt bad for eating all of them, but Hilda didn't once mention that she was hungry and he did deserve the food for all the shit she put him through.

"We have to do something," she announced suddenly, "once your parents arrive."

He swallowed the last few remnants of the croquettes. "And that is … ?"

"We have to kiss."

He was pretty sure he was about to spit something out.

"_What? _What, what, what, what, _what_? _Me _and _you_? _Kiss?_" Tatsumi spluttered out incredulously. "You're fucking around, aren't you?" _Please tell me you are!_

"I am not. It's a must to convince them that we are in love."

"But they approve of us already!"

"Yes, but that doesn't show that they are convinced that we are in love, Oga. Think intelligently for once in your life," she snapped.

"And with that bitchy attitude, ya think I'm gonna plant one on you?"

"Look, I don't want to do this as much as you do, okay?"

"Then why're you suggestin' it?"

"For strategical reasons!"

"Tch, I bet you just _want _to kiss me." _Whoa, where did that come from?_

She scoffed, looking at him distastefully. "I would rather drink smoothies."

"Everyone would want to drink smoothies, stupid!"

"_Just _kiss me."

"Wh-What? Fuck no!"

Hilda's eyes darkened. "Kiss. Me."

"No!" Okay, it wasn't because he was _inexperienced_. He had his fair share of kisses, unwillingly. There was Bile Girl and the others that he really didn't care about. Some were pecks, some were full-on kissing, and a few consisted of tongue. But that was about it. It wasn't anything meaningful.

But he just didn't want to kiss her. This wasn't in the plan. He would pretend to be a love-sick fool, but he wasn't all right with kissing her. That wasn't … okay.

His ears detected the bounding of footsteps and hushed conversations.

"They're coming! Kiss me, fool!" she hissed.

"Yuck, no!"

"Oga Tatsumi, I swear your balls aren't the only thing going to be fed to the dogs."

They were getting closer.

"Oga!"

And closer —

"Fuck my fuckin' life."

Tatsumi grabbed Hilda by the waist and all but shoved his lips on hers.

First thought? _DAMN._

Hilda had pretty soft lips. Was everything about her soft? It was ironic, considering her personality. And although they were thin, they seemed plump, too.

She placed her hands on his broad shoulders and deepened the kiss by pulling him closer and angling her face properly. His fingers stroked her waist, and it was a good thing she wore a thin shirt, because he could practically feel her skin.

She bit his lip.

And that was when it started.

He stuck his tongue inside her warm mouth and began playing with hers. She accepted the challenge. He perceived that her chest was up against his, and it made him feel warm and … other feelings. The kiss was getting hotter and hotter by the second. He never had this feeling with the other chicks. Only … her.

He was seconds away from placing her on the counter to kiss her comfortably when —

"Oh! How _beautiful_!"

"Tatsumi, you're like … eating her. Are you _that _hungry?"

The duo pulled away immediately. Well, Hilda more like pushed him away roughly. She wiped her lips and composed herself.

Tatsumi gave her a quick onceover. Although she was yet again displaying no signs of emotion, he could see how much the kiss affected her. Her cheeks were slightly flushed. Her clothing was wrinkled — whoa, was it that intense? — and her shirt was riding up a little bit. Her right green eye was glazed somewhat.

He glanced briefly at his parents, who both were watching the pseudo-couple with interested eyes. Then, he walked over to his "fiancée" and fixed up her clothing.

Hilda's eyes flashed up towards him by the sudden intimate move. However, she didn't question him.

For once, he made a smart move. And for once, he didn't freak out from pretending to be in love with Hilda.

Because he didn't do this as part of their act. He did that … because he just wanted to.

Tatsumi's mother smiled at the couple gazing up at each other. "They're so beautiful together, aren't they, dear?" she murmured to her husband.

Her significant other nodded once, smiling warmly. "Yes, they are," he said in agreement. "We'll have picturesque grandchildren for sure with Hilda's genes!"

* * *

><p>"Well, that went better than expected."<p>

"I suppose."

"But I wasn't surprised. I mean, my parents _are_ gullible."

Silence.

"We should live together, too. Save money and all."

Hilda whipped her head towards Tatsumi. "Live together?" she repeated. "Where'd you get that idea?"

Tatsumi answered simply, "You're not the only one with ideas, Hilda."

The engaged couple walked down the silent streets of Tatsumi's old neighborhood. The wind was blowing softly and coldly, but it was comforting. Their footsteps echoed with each step they took, Hilda's heels clacking partially. They were walking side by side, no more than a few feet apart.

"We're not sleeping together, though."

"Where the hell am I gonna sleep, then? And it's my bed."

"Who said we're using your apartment?"

"I have more furniture than you, dumbass."

"My apartment's cleaner."

"That's 'cause it barely has shit in there! Now, you're gonna live with _me _and sleep on the couch or somethin'."

"No. I sleep on beds, not sofas."

"Woman, it's only temporary."

"Then let me sleep on your bed. All I have to do is disinfect it and change the bedcovers and pillows."

"Why are you so bitchy?"

"Because I'm a bitch, aren't I?"

Tatsumi was about to say, "Fuck yeah, you are," but he stopped himself from doing so. He didn't know why, but something was preventing him from insulting her. Maybe it was the way she replied to his question. He didn't know.

"Fine. I'll give you a futon. Cool?"

"But I want — "

"Either the futon or the sofa. Take your damn pick."

"You're abhorrent."

"That's what I fuckin' thought."

_SMACK!_

"Shit! _Ow_, fuck!"

"And that's what _I _fuckin', thought. Asshole."

* * *

><p>Tatsumi sat comfortably on his couch, arms draped over it. His dark eyes watched all the people go in and out of his apartment. Each worker that came in was holding a box that had the word FRAGILE stamped on diagonally on the sides in red.<p>

Hilda was busy manning the front near the threshold. She gave direct orders on where to put all the boxes.

_If she doesn't have crap in her apartment, where did all these boxes come from? _Tatsumi wondered. _ Come to think of it, she had those boxes when she first moved in, too …_

He got cut out of his wondering thoughts when she took a seat next to him, sighing in exasperation and exhaustion.

"Thankfully, the two idiots aren't here," Hilda muttered to herself.

"What're all those boxes filled with, anyways?" Tatsumi asked.

"Antiques."

"I've never seen any antiques at your old house."

"I didn't open any of them, that's why."

"Why?"

She groaned quietly. "Because I don't have any furniture to place them upon, you dolt."

He rolled his eyes, too exhausted to insult her back, as well. Once the moving was done and over with, he was going to hibernate or something.

A low whistle came.

Toujou stepped into Tatsumi's apartment. (Now it was Hilda's, too, but it was 99.9% his.) He spotted the boxes huddling about at the corners, raising an eyebrow. Then, he trained his eyes on Tatsumi — and his wifey.

Hilda inquired, disinterested, "Friend of yours?"

"Eh."

"You know what to do." She got up off the couch and headed outside, ignoring Toujou's curious eyes following after her.

Toujou walked over to the couch and took Hilda's spot. He leaned back, arms behind his head. "That the wifey?" he grunted.

Tatsumi nodded.

"Foreign?"

"Dunno. Could be."

"Fucker, how could you not know? You're marryin' her!"

"She's foreign … or something."

"Just fuck you, Oga."

_PM-fuckin'-S much?_ Tatsumi thought bitterly.

Silence settled over the two. Both pairs of eyes merely watched the workers come in and out, hearing Hilda snap at them at times for being slow or placing the boxes at the wrong area.

"I said the large box, not the medium box!"

"But — But they all look the same, miss!"

"Are you … _defying_ me?"

Tatsumi couldn't help it. A smirk crawled on his lips. _You can't stop a bitch from being a bitch._

Toujou muttered something unintelligible.

"Whas' that?" the black-haired teen questioned.

"She's … fiesty," Toujou commented. He laughed. "Ha! Good luck, pal. I feel sorry for you. She seems like the type to use a leash on you!"

All of a sudden, a strange vision conjured inside Tatsumi's aching mind. He was on his knees, hands in front of him. Hilda was holding the leash connected to his collar. He woofed. She smiled and all but shoved death biscuits into his mouth.

Two men came in, struggling to carry a very large box. Tatsumi could see their arms straining to keep holding.

"Ma'am," one of the workers wearing a cap said, sweating profusely. "Where do we put this?"

Hilda's eyes traveled around the room, looking for a decent location to place the box. They stopped at the corner at the left side of the couch Tatsumi and Toujou were lounging about on. She gestured towards there with her finger. "There," she said.

Tatsumi gave her a look. "There's no space for that large piece of crap, Hilda," he pointed out.

"Darling, the large piece of crap is you, didn't you know?" Her tone was sickly sweet, but he could hear the acridity mixed with it subtlety.

"Gah! I give up with you!" He threw his hands up in the air rather dramatically closed his eyes tightly, hoping to enter another dimension where there were no blonde bitches. Or debts. Or mosquitoes.

"Is this what they call a 'Lovers' Quarrel'?" Toujou wondered underneath his breath.

The two workers' legs look like they were about to give way, and Hilda seemed to realize that. So, she sauntered over to the couch and analyzed it carefully. She nodded once and walked to the empty space.

Tatsumi's ears perked at the sound of Hilda being next to him. _What is she going to — ?_

Hilda lifted up her right leg, placed her foot on the arm of the sofa, and kicked.

Yes, kicked.

Suddenly, the sofa was pushed to the right, making Tatsumi and Toujou fall to the side abruptly. It was about to hit the tower of boxes sitting at the other corner when it stopped just inches away from it.

All the men in the room had wide, wide eyes.

Hilda motioned for the men to come over. The two men kept staring at her until they both snapped out of it and hurriedly set the box on the ground.

Tatsumi and Toujou sat up, just barely registering the fact that a petite woman managed to push the couch with fully grown men on it without difficulty _with her leg_.

Toujou let out a sinister snicker. "Now I _really _feel sorry for you, Oga."

"Toujou … just fuck _off_."

"Don't wanna. 'S fun seeing you suffer." He grinned sadistically and maniacally. Was it even possible to distinguish between the two?

Tatsumi was about to smack his "friend" upside the head when he noticed that Hilda was staring out the window next to the door with an unidentifiable emotion in her eyes.

"What's wrong, Hilda?" he asked.

"I hear … something," she replied quietly.

He listened carefully.

"Oga, is she feisty _and _crazy?" Toujou whispered in her ear. "'Cause I'm pretty sure those two qualities are known to work well in bed — "

Tatsumi grabbed a pillow next to him and slammed it on Toujou's face. He kept it there, ignoring the large man's struggling body and deathly hands attempting to smack him. He listened.

Footsteps came. Fast ones. And he could vaguely hear something …

"Hmmm, it seems someone's calling you, Oga," Hilda noted.

The footsteps became louder.

"OGA TATSUMIIIII!" came a murderous roar.

_Shit._

"Sounds like that person wants to kill you." She gasped, eyes turning furious. "That's _my _job!"

"You're no help, demon!"

"YOU THINK YOU CAN HIDE FROM ME? _NO ONE _CAN HIDE FROM ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

_Oh, shit. Shit has gone shit._

"She seems _really_, _really _enraged."

"Why the fuck you smilin', bitch?"

Toujou managed to get the pillow off of him. He didn't bother to punch and/or slap Oga. Hearing that person made him forget and look … frightened. Odd.

"The landlord." The orange-haired man slapped Tatsumi on the back. (Oh, never mind.) "Told ya to pay your rent! Now you're gonna die!"

"Hey!" Hilda yelled. "He's going to die by _my _hands."

"Damn, Oga, you've got some creepy taste. Just 'cause you like freaks in bed."

"I don't like — !"

A womanly figure loomed at the threshold. Her hair was hiding her face, because her head hung low. Her posture was bent over, giving off a scary vibe in the environment. All the workers dropped the boxes slowly and scampered out.

"_Tatsumiiiiiii," _the landlord called out eerily. She snapped her head up, black locks flying everywhere around her face.

Tatsumi sent a grin her way; it looked somewhat nervous. "Hey, sis … ," he greeted weakly.

And Toujou felt even more sorrier for his comrade.

* * *

><p><strong>—<strong> did'ja expect that?

did'ja, did'ja, did'ja?

& i know i don't reply to all of your reviews, so here it goes:

thank you. thank you to every single one of you _beelzebub _fans.

you are all both beautiful. seriously.

Review_! _

_(lol.)_

:D


	9. You Have a Whore at the Side?

Misaki stared at her brother expectantly.

Tatsumi dug through his pockets. One by one, he took out a candy wrapper, one coin, and a coupon to a nearby strip club. Lint was stuck on each of them.

Hilda raised an eyebrow at the last one, eyes narrowing.

"That's … all? Really?" Misaki asked quietly.

He remained silent, only nodding once.

A sigh. "Oga, what the hell have you been doing? Don't you have a job?"

"I tried, but some people are just messed up, ya know? Like, they're so picky as to where to put the milk. As if _I _knew the milk's supposed to be at the dairy section." Tatsumi rolled his eyes at certain people's stupidity.

"How the hell could I be related to _you_? You stupid piece of crap!" Misaki looked like she was milliseconds away from strangling the idiocy out of her little brother. "Oga Tatsumi, prepare to die — "

Hilda stepped forward and placed a fat envelope on the table.

"There's 10,000 in there. This covers mine and partially his. I'll make _sure _he pays the rest," she said in a firm tone.

Tatsumi's older sister slowly took the envelope and opened it. Inside it was a large wad of cash. She flipped through it like a deck of cards. She counted swiftly to herself.

Tatsumi nudged her. "Where'd you get that?" he hissed lowly. "Thought you were dead broke!"

She said one word: "Alaindelon."

"What, you threatened him or something? You do know this'll add on to our bet." But he was kind of relieved. At least he wasn't dying today.

Hilda was about to say something when Misaki announces, "Well! At least _someone's_ responsible." She sent Tatsumi a look.

"What?"

"Don't you 'what' me, you irresponsible bastard. You're making your wife pay your damn rent." She shook her head disappointingly.

"Hey! I gave you a coupon!"

"Like that makes a difference."

"Wait a minute, how do you know I'm getting married?" Tatsumi inquired, staring at her confusedly.

Misaki inserted the money back into the envelope and placed it safely inside the cash box. She grabbed her pen and started writing down important information on the receipt. She motioned for Hilda to sign, which the blonde did. Misaki then tore the paper at the perforated area and handed a copy to Hilda.

"Where you from, Hilda?" Misaki asked interestedly, ignoring his question.

"Macao," Hilda answered. She roughly shoved the receipt inside Tatsumi's left pocket since her dress didn't have any.

_Macao, huh? Sounds fan — where the hell is that? _the 18-year-old thought.

The older woman's eyes twinkled. "Ooh, Macao? I'll probably go there for my next honeymoon."

Tatsumi snorted. "As if your guy doesn't spoil you enough. He already gave you this apartment complex to man — what more do you want?"

"Hilda, what do you see in this freak?"

"Pure stupidity."

"And you _still _wanna marry him?" She sounded unconvincing.

Hilda nodded. "Yes," she replied assuredly.

Misaki observed her future sister-in-law with intent eyes. She glanced briefly at her brother, grimaced, and resumed appraising Hilda. Tatsumi could see that she was somewhat believing her.

"All right, I believe your love," she finally stated. "But you first have to go through a perilous journey. You and your hubby." She gestured towards Tatsumi.

"What perilous journey?" Tatsumi couldn't help but feeling like collapsing on a bed again. This sounded tiring.

"Don't tell me you forgot about Kunieda, Tatsumi."

"Kun … _ieda_?" Hilda said gradually and rather icily. She turned to Tatsumi, a glare forming in her eyes. "You have a whore at the side?"

Tatsumi waved his hands in front of him defensively. "_No!_ What're you talking about?" He speedily faced his sister, slamming a palm on her mahogany desk. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Playing dumb, huh? Shouldn't surprise me."

"I'm serious! I have no idea what you're talking about! What, you think Kunieda and I are dating or something?"

"Yes."

"What the — what gave you _that _idea?" Kunieda was only his friend. That was it! His sister was as whacked up as Hilda. No wonder why she liked her. Crazies connected instantly.

Misaki shrugged. "Sensed somethin' going on when I met her. Remember? You were walking her home," she reminded him.

"'Walking her — '" He stopped, realizing what she meant. "We were only walking in the same direction when you passed by! She passes the river, too! The hell you thinking, woman?"

"I know what I saw. I know you're hiding it so you won't break Furuichi's feelings."

"WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT FURUICHI AND I ARE — ?" Tatsumi cut himself off. He took two deep breaths. His tone softened incredibly. "You know what? Fuck it. Hilda."

His hands grabbed her shoulders and pushed her forward until she was inches away from the desk and covering Tatsumi. He leaned down and spoke next to her face.

"Deal with the bitch. You can speak bitch, so this should flow easily," he said.

Hilda's head veered to the right, faces just about near each other. "I _beg _to differ — ," she began protesting.

"It is settled! My darling wife will speak for me. Proceed, Hilda." He used his arm to motion for her to begin.

"Your tongue will be castrated with your balls, Oga," she threatened lowly to him. In a louder voice: "Misaki-san, Oga Tatsumi is not gay. He might've been before he met me, but he is not now. If he was, I will lock myself up in a room, wallow in my tears, and eat a tub of ice cream while watching romantic comedies. Then, I will beat up Furuichi and save Tatsumi for last. My happy ending shall happen."

Misaki was staring wide-eyed at Hilda. All of a sudden, her eyes started tearing up. She sniffled.

"That was depressingly beautiful, my lovely sister-in-law." She stood up abruptly and slammed her palms on her desk firmly. "No worries! Tatsumi _better not _be gay." She flashed a glare to her brother.

Okay, that wasn't exactly what he wanted. All we wanted was for Hilda to prove to his sister that he wasn't a homosexual. But whatever.

"He is not. I made sure." Then, Hilda took on a more serious note. "Now … who is this _Kunieda_?"

"Tatsumi's girlfriend."

"I see … " Hilda faced her "hubby" fully. She crossed her arms over her chest. "I am going to soon lock myself up in my room, wallow in my tears, eat a tub of — "

"None of that!" Tatsumi interrupted. "You know why? Because _Kunieda is not my fuckin' girlfriend_!"

"Stop ly — "

"No! Just stop it! Just stop! Just shut up and stop! Just do both! Just shut up, stop, and do both!"

Blankly, the two women stared at him.

_It's like the fuckery never ends. Damn_, Tatsumi thought.

"So, yeah, anyways," Misaki started casually as if Tatsumi said absolutely nothing, "Kunieda's, like, a year older than him. They went to the same high school. She's part of the Red Tails, which is basically an all-girl gang with a purpose of eliminating threats to the school. I think she quit, because none of them are allowed to date and she's dating Oga, so … "

Tatsumi tried to convince both women again. It was futile, but he had to. "Why the hell would I be marrying Hilda if — _if! _— I was dating Kunieda? That's stupid!"

"You're stupid, so that's self-explanatory," Hilda answered.

"Glad to see you're on my side, _sweetheart_." Sarcasm.

"Pleasure's all mine, _baby_."

"Ew."

"Ew what?"

"It's nasty hearing you call me 'baby.'"

"Ugh, it's a term of endearment, you pile of toxic shit."

"God, I love you so much I think I could _die_." _And I seriously will soon._

Misaki shivered in delight. "Ooooh! Just seeing you two banter like that gives me the chills! The chemistry between the two of you is _fierce_! Not like with you and Kunieda where it's all cutesy." She nodded approvingly. "You may be stupid, Tatsumi, but you got _great _taste."

"Awesome. Can we leave now?"

"No. You gotta break up with Kunieda."

"Oh my mothereffin' sweet — ," he groaned. His mind was aching.

Hilda asked, dead serious, all at once, "What do I have to do? How does she look like? What's her home address? What should I put in her food?"

"Nothing difficult. Simply get Tatsumi to stop being an asshole and break up with her. I have a picture of her. I am not aware of her home address — ask Tatsumi. Oh, are you a cook?"

"I just can't anymore with you people."

"Is this the picture of _Kunieda_? Your taste horrifies me, Oga."

"She's quite pretty, no?"

"I've got the bitch disease. It's when you're surrounded by _bitches_."

"Shut up already. Misaki-san, where can I find her?"

"She goes to the park on the weekends, I believe, with her — "

"Hilda's practically screaming the fact that she's gonna brutally murder Kunieda, and you're giving her all the answers." _Sigh. _"And they say _I'm _the fool."

A sharp twinkle of glares appeared in her exposed green. She grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him close, face dangerous.

"Are you … _defending _her, Oga Tatsumi?" she spat in his face.

"Yes, I am defending her, because I am dating her," Tatsumi replied in a deadpan voice. "I actually have a girlfriend that I don't want to reveal, because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I am committing adultery or some shit like that. I am a two-timing bastard."

Her face turned confused. "What the hell are you on?"

"I've got … the bitch … disease. Remember?" Rage came. Out of nowhere, his facial expression completely warped into red, red, and red. "THE FUCK YOU THINK, WOMAN?"

Gradually, Hilda loosened her hold on his shirt. She retreated a few steps back, obviously freaked out by Tatsumi's slightly crazed look. She held a fist in front of her mouth and cleared her throat, eyes closed.

Once her eyes were open, she declared, "I don't care if she's _not _your whore, Oga. She might actually like you."

"But she doesn't, Hilda. She doesn't show any interest in me."

"Hmph."

_What's up her ass? _Tatsumi thought, rolling his eyes. _Acting like she's _actually _my freakin' wife._

* * *

><p>Sighing, Tatsumi kept a look out for Kunieda.<p>

_Pfft._

Yeah right.

He wasn't actually going to help the two bitches with their little task. He wasn't dating Kunieda, and they were just assuming. They didn't believe him, so what was the use anymore?

He glanced at his soon-to-be wife in his peripheral vision. She was crouching inconspicuously behind thick bushes — like him, but _he _was just squatting and not caring if he was seen or not — utilizing a pair of binoculars.

"Lemme guess — Alaindelon?" he said to her.

"Wrong. Furuichi."

"He gave it to you?"

"I stole it."

If Tatsumi were any normal best friend, he would've reprimanded her, snatched it from her grasp, and given it back to Furuichi. But he wasn't normal. If he was normal, he wouldn't have agreed to marry the blonde bombshell, who was crouching next to him and plotting gory murder against his supposed girlfriend.

And he didn't want to give it back. Too lazy.

Hilda asked lowly, "Do you see her?"

"Nope," he replied monotonously.

"Are you even looking for her?"

"Nope."

"Unhelpful bastard."

"That's me, _honey_."

"Does she even go to this park?" she inquired, setting the binoculars to the side.

"Yes, she does," he repeated for the umpteenth time, exasperated. "Or at least that's what Misaki says. I don't know."

"You should know. You're _dating _her."

_MOTHERFU — SHIT — SWEET HOLY EFFIN'— _

"There she is," she declared out of nowhere. "Straight ahead of us … holding a baby … boy." She slowly trained her glaring icicles his way. "Don't tell me … _you're _the father of that baby."

_Just don't say anything, Tatsumi. No matter what you say, the demon will never believe you. _He merely grunted.

"Ungrateful bastard."

Tatsumi swallowed down the heat traveling up his mouth. He craned up his neck upwards to see what the hell she was looking at. He only saw people. He only saw people he didn't know, people he didn't give a crap about.

"She's here. Your whore is here, Oga."

"What? I don't see her."

"She's _right there_. She's the only whore holding a baby."

"'Whore holding—'" He stopped, realization dawning. "That's not Kunieda. That's _Aoi Kunie_. They're two different people."

Hilda gave him an incredulous look.

"What?" he asked.

"Are you blind?"

"Huh?"

"Are you _deaf_?" Before he could answer back, she continued, "Are you _that _fucking stupid, Oga Tatsumi? That's obviously Kunieda! They look exactly alike! She's just wearing a hat and glasses!"

"Hilda, that's not — "

Without saying anything, she stood up, exposing herself. She pulled up Tatsumi with her. "Hey. Girl with baby," she called.

The girl faced Hilda. "Yes?" she questioned politely. Her eyes widened at the sight of Tatsumi slightly.

"Is your name Kunieda Aoi?"

Tatsumi saw her hesitate, frantically glancing at him a lot. Then, she put on a sweet smile. "No, I'm afraid you're mistaken. My name is Aoi Kunie." She laughed nervously.

"Ha! Told you!" Tatsumi said triumphantly.

"Do not think of me as a gullible idiot with a shitty apartment," Hilda snapped to her.

_That's pretty damn specific_, he thought, scowling.

"You are obviously Kunieda Aoi, leader of the Red — "

"OKAY! Why don't we talk about this strange situation _someplace else_?" Aoi Kunie or Kunieda Aoi suggested nervously. However, her eyes were slightly narrowed at the blonde before her.

Tatsumi's flicked back and forth between the two girls, perplexed.

The blonde bombshell laughed tauntingly. "Afraid Oga will find out what you're keeping from him, girl?"

She flushed red with anger. "I am _not_ hiding anything from him. Who the hell are you to start spouting out bullshit in my face, bitch?" She gasped immediately after, covering her mouth with her hand. She looked down at the little boy she was carrying and sighed in relief once she saw he was staring at a ladybug on the ground with intense wonder.

_That sounded a lot like Kunieda there for a second_, Tatsumi thought, scrutinizing Aoi Kunie/Kunieda Aoi. _Maybe she _is _actually —_

"Your little girlfriend's been dishonest with you the entire time, Oga darling." Oh, gag. Oh, vomit. He _hated _hearing terms of endearment out of her mouth, _especially _when it was directed at him. "She has multiple-personality disorder. She was hiding her mental illness for such an incalculable amount of time. Who knows, she might be cheating on you while you're cheating on me with her."

Tatsumi let out a loud sigh. _Just. Don't. Say. A. Freaking. Thing. _He grumbled profanities to himself.

All of a sudden, a _whoosh _was heard. Aoi Kunie/Kunieda Aoi was no longer seen.

"Now look at what you did." Hilda _tsk_ed. "I didn't even get to give her a piece of my mind."

"Bitch, you just gave her a piece of your mind by 'supposedly' exposing her hidden agenda or some shit."

"That Kunieda Aoi will soon perish, I swear to you, Oga Tatsumi. You'll be joining her soon. Don't worry, I didn't forget about you."

"Yay," he remarked sarcastically.

"Request … ing … for … me?" a person declared loudly between pants.

Tatsumi turned from his position to see, 'lo and behold, Kunieda Aoi bent over with her hands on her knees. Perspiration was sliding down her temples. Her hair was all over the place, sticking to her cheeks and forehead. She looked like she just ran a marathon.

"Kunieda," the 18-year-old said. "You're here." Okay, this was seriously turning out to be some ridiculous reality TV show where the boisterous host jumps out of nowhere and shocks the fuck out of you.

The girl stood upright, wiping the sweat off her brow. "Yes, I am here. I heard my name." She focused her dark eyes towards the blonde bombshell standing a few feet away from her and scowled. "What the hell do you want?"

Hilda smirked rather sinisterly. Her right eye gleamed with murder.

Tatsumi's eyes bounced back and forth between the two yet again, but this time Kunieda was in the picture. He was still bewildered over Aoi Kunie and Kunieda Aoi. They seemed alike when Aoi Kunie cursed her out so confidently and angrily, but they looked _nothing _alike. Damn it.

"You foolin' around with my hubby, slut?"

" … Ex_cuse _me?"

Tatsumi groaned to himself and collapsed on the floor.

_Fuck._

* * *

><p><strong>— <strong>yes, this is late. sorry.

I had a huge writer's block. And that sucked.

This story is becoming crap in my opinion. I mean, I like the plot and all, but I seriously don't know what to do in the later chapters. I even have ideas for other shows & stuff. But it's hard to juggle 'em all, y'know?

All negativities aside, I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter & if you're enjoying this story. I've been getting good reviews by all of you GREAT READERS. (Yes, emphasis on the GREAT. :D) I must be doing _something _right, lol.

Review_!_


	10. Are You Getting Cold Feet?

Tatsumi wished he wasn't here.

Kunieda sat across Hilda, a medium-length table barricading the two. All was silent. No words were exchanged between the two. But it was as if Tatsumi could hear the cruel spats directed between the two women.

He was sitting on a chair in the middle. His arms were resting on the back of it, body slumped.

"I'm not dating Oga if that's what you're implying, _Hilda-san_," Kunieda finally remarked with faux politeness. Her posture was stiff and tense. It showed if Hilda said something that would set her off, Kunieda wouldn't hesitate to wring her neck.

Tatsumi had challenged Kunieda once. After hearing his reputation for easily defeating those who would dare defy him, she had to step in. Since he didn't fight girls, he had declined. However, Kunieda was not one to be rejected a challenge, _especially _when it now concerned who was the strongest. She had managed to corner him with her subordinates, Nene and Chiaki. Much to his dismay, he had reluctantly agreed.

The two had battled it out by arm-wrestling, because Tatsumi had been adamant on not fighting girls physically. The event had taken place on the rooftop of their school. Many spectators had immediately known who would win: Oga Tatsumi. His arms were incredibly muscular and jam-packed with monstrous power from all the fights he had been through.

"Brains over brawns," Kunieda had said confidently.

Unfortunately, as soon as both hands connected, Kunieda's face had reddened, putting tomatoes to shame. To this day, Tatsumi still didn't understand why she had run for her dear life, thus making Tatsumi the winner of the match.

"Well, I am," Hilda said. "As a matter of fact, we are _engaged_."

Kunieda's eyes widened greatly. "Is that true?" she asked Tatsumi, slightly panicky.

"Uh, yeah," he answered. Why was she looking at him like that?

"What the hell, Oga? Y-You're still so young! You don't even know what a — what a _mortgage _is, for crying out loud! Are you even thinking straight?"

"Doesn't a mortgage deal with dead bodies and doing some weird shit in 'em?"

"That's a mortician, sweetie," Hilda corrected. Tatsumi heard _dumbass_, though.

Kunieda seemed like she was having some sort of nervous breakdown. "Do you even _love _her? When did you even meet her? And … " — her eyes turned extremely suspicious — "where the _hell _is her ring?" Her tone lowered down, grave.

_Shit. Fuck. Shit. Damn it_, Tatsumi chanted mentally. _The fucking ring!_

"Do you actually think Tatsumi could afford a ring?" Hilda asked, rolling her eyes. "The idiot can't even pay his own rent much less buy his own food. What kind of girlfriend are you if you don't know that Tatsumi is suffering financially?"

Kunieda's cheeks turned pink. "I'm n-_not_ his — !" she started saying.

"You knew he was in debt, and you didn't even have the decency of lending him some money?" It was like Hilda chastising him like she was Tatsumi's mother. "While you two kissed, you didn't sense his suffering beneath those ghastly, inexperienced lips of his?"

Tatsumi glared. "I have_ plenty _experience!" he cried indignantly.

"Is that really the problem right now, Oga?" Kunieda snapped. "And we never kissed!"

But Hilda was on a roll: "While you two gazed upon each other's eyes, you didn't detect the anguish lingering around in his eyes? While you two were holding hands, you didn't feel the jolt of his problems? While you two ate nachos in comfortable silence, you didn't taste his suffering within the cheesy, crunchy goodness? While you two were having sex — "

"OGA AND I NEVER HAD SEX!"

"Ooh, nachos sound good right now."

"My point is, is that you didn't even once help my darling Tatsumi out." Hilda sniffled, wiping a fake tear. "Therefore, you are unworthy of being his girlfriend."

"Hilda," Kunieda attempted to say in a calm voice, "for the last time, Oga and I aren't — "

"But, despite all of that, you can still attend our wedding."

Kunieda was lost for words. It clearly showed on her face.

"Hey, yeah," Tatsumi said, grinning at her. "You can be the flower girl."

"Tatsumi, my handsome idiot, she can be one of my _bridesmaids_." Hilda was smiling rather sweetly, but if one was perceptive enough, they would be able to notice the maniacal glint in her green eye.

"Oh, no, I don't think I should — "

"Kunieda-san, I _insist_."

"No, _really_, I — "

"I said, _I insist_."

Kunieda managed to catch the authority and coldness in her tone. She narrowed her eyes at the blonde before her. "Fine," she relented. "I'll attend. I'll be your bridesmaid. _Fine._" She glared back as if accepting whatever challenge Hilda was mentally giving.

Tatsumi couldn't contain his excitement. Kunieda's grandfather was pretty loaded.

Unbeknownst to Tatsumi, the two women resumed glowering one another.

* * *

><p>"Isn't there some sort of age-restriction for being a maid-of-honor?"<p>

"Not that I'm aware of — why?"

"Well, your friend looks … three."

"Excuse me, I _happen _to be — "

"But if the midget's what you want, then whatever."

"DID YOU JUST IGNORE ME?"

Tatsumi ignored the glowering eyes of Hilda's maid-of-honor Lamia. She was a short girl — child, woman, granny, whatever the hell she was — with green eyes and pink hair. She must be one of those ridiculous cosplayers at those conventions they hold annually. If she was one, then she was horrible at it, because she didn't look like any character he recognized.

_What's with the lab coat? Is she playing doctor or something? _Tatsumi supposedly thought.

"HEY! I heard that," Lamia exclaimed hotly, cheeks red.

_She's so freakin' tiny._

"You're talking about me as if I'm not here, you moron!" The pink-haired girl whipped her head towards Hilda, whose arms were crossed over her chest silently. "Hilda-neesan! What in the _world _do you see in this barbarian?"

"Barbaric intentions," she replied simply.

Lamia gasped, hand over her mouth. She pointed at Tatsumi accusatorily. "Are you marrying Hilda-neesan just so you can have wild escapades with her all night, every night, wherever and whenever, no matter what the cost?"

He grimaced and waved his hands in front of him. "Fuck no! I'm marrying her, 'cause I love her and stuff!" Doing _that _with Hilda disgusted him (and strangely turned him on, but he didn't know that).

"Then that means that you think she's unattractive!"

"I didn't say — "

"Have you _seen _her melons? You, _Oga Tatsumi_, are the blindest, daftest idiot I have ever met in my life! Why wouldn't you want to have wild escapades with her all night, every night, wherever and whenever, no matter what the cost?"

Tatsumi faced his "fiancée". "So, when are you finally planning all this wedding crap?"

"I AM BEING IGNORED YET AGAIN."

Hilda scoffed. "Don't think that I'm the only one pulling any weight around here. And besides, your parents and your sister said they had it covered. Remember?" she reminded him.

"They didn't tell me shit!"

"Oh."

"Don't _'oh' _me, demon. When did they tell you this?"

"Misaki visited me earlier when I was cleaning up my apartment and told me."

"She didn't tell me shit."

"That's because she likes me."

"'That's because she likes me,'" Tatsumi mimicked underneath his breath. He wasn't afraid of his fake fiancée, per se. He just knew that if he said it out loud, he would get beaten up to a pulp. He was being _smart_.

Unfortunately, she heard him.

And smacked the back of his head.

After a few minutes of Hilda informing Tatsumi about the wedding ideas she had discussed with his mother, she left to finish up tidying up her apartment. Lamia had offered to help, but Hilda wanted her to "bond" with her soon-to-be husband.

With that being said, Tatsumi was stuck with the little girl.

She was sitting on the coffee table across him, leg crossed over the other. Her arms were crossed over her chest, as well. Her head was turned away from him, one cheek puffed out. Her pink eyebrows were furrowed down.

"What's up your ass?" Tatsumi asked her, one eyebrow up.

"You still haven't apologized," she replied.

"For what?"

She sighed exasperatingly and slammed her palms on the table, glaring. "For blatantly ignoring me and criticizing Hilda-neesan's assets!"

"You were talking to me?"

"No _duh_!"

"Oh."

"UGH!"

_With her attitude, she must be 14_, Tatsumi perceived mentally.

"How did you even meet Hilda-neesan, anyways?" Lamia inquired. She was facing down, but her green eyes were squinting at him.

"Some punks ruined my sleep," he explained.

"And?"

"And … yeah."

"Oh my gosh, you're _aggravating_! I'm seriously thinking that Hilda-neesan was, like, I don't know … _out of her damn mind_ for saying 'yes' to you!"

A question popped into his mind. "Hey, you've known Hilda for a long time, right?"

"This egghead's changing the freakin' subject," she muttered lowly to herself. She sighed. "Yes, I have. Why?"

"I dunno. Just … wanna know more 'bout her, I guess." Come to think of it, he didn't know jack about her. He knew she was bitch. Her personality showed the best of it (or the _bitch _of it, snicker, snicker). She came from Macao and preferred wearing black all the time. She was also sadistic as hell, hotheaded, vengeful, coldhearted, strong, and more, more, more. But that was her personality, only. He wanted to know her background. What if she was some retired serial-killer?

"Hilda-neesan was born in a very affluent family. However, her parents sent her to a boarding school founded by Lord Beelzebub III as part of her family's tradition," Lamia began explaining without hesitation, surprisingly. He half-expected she would get suspicious on why he didn't know that much about the woman she was marrying, but she probably admired her to the point where she would go on and on about her idol. "She spent her whole life at that boarding school. She had to learn how to act like a lady and think like a lady. She learned proper etiquette, how to read, paint, draw, and write, the school's history, and other basic school subjects."

"Lord Beezelbub III, huh? Who that?" He sounded like some rich hotshot.

"How could you not know — never mind. You don't know a lot of things. Lord Beelzebub III's known for — "

"Just finish what you were sayin' about Hilda."

"But you just — "

"Yeah, yeah, hurry up. _Bond _with me, girlie."

She glared daggers at him, looking like she was ready to spit lava in his direction.

"Hilda-neesan," she continued on angrily, "was also a maid for Lord Beelzebub III's family. Her family was related with theirs in some complex manner, and they are indebted to each other. She served them in replacement for paying the school tuition, which is highly expensive.

"I never knew how Hilda-neesan was before, but she wasn't always this stoic. Apparently this academy changed her in ways that I will never know. But what I do know is that she was finally done with learning how to be a lady and serving the Lord's family. She wanted to explore her life and find some sort of peace with herself, I assume." She shrugged her tiny shoulders, anger alleviating slightly. "That's what I discovered about her."

Tatsumi let this newfound knowledge sink in. It didn't really explain much about Hilda's character, but he now understood why she sat and stood nimrod straight.

"Hey, wait, wait. Hold up. If she was born in some rich-ass family, why isn't she loaded? Why isn't she asking for help from her parents?" Hilda's background story was starting to bewilder him. There were so many contradictions in Lamia's story. Had she been lying to him?

"Like I said, she left for herself. She wanted to live a new life. She abandoned _everything _except for her antiques, because she bought them with her own money. And she won't sell them, because it reminds her of her hard work. She doesn't remember much of her parents much less know _where they are_. And anyways, it's a _pride _thing. Hilda-neesan wouldn't succumb herself into doing such a thing." Lamia looked concerned for her friend.

"What about the giant, Alaindelon?"

"Alaindelon served Lord Beelzebub III _and _Hilda-neesan's family, as well. He has known her ever since she started the academy. He is incredibly loyal, especially to Hilda-neesan. He has a daughter attending the academy, currently."

He scratched his head roughly. He didn't know why, but this wasn't enough for him. He really wanted to know more about her. Yeah, he hated her guts, but he still wanted to get to know her. If he was getting married to her, then shouldn't he at least know bits of information about her? Didn't he have the right?

"Oga," Lamia called.

"Hm?" Tatsumi murmured, snapping out of his reverie.

"Hilda-neesan … " She trailed off for a while there. She looked like she was trying to word out what she was going to say. "She is going to be a great mother. And wife, most especially."

"'Cause of the boarding school she attended?"

"No. I just know it."

Was this supposed to relieve him? Or was it supposed to make him actually like her?

Either way, he didn't know. He still kind of hated the chick. And anyways, he shouldn't get too deep into her personal life. They weren't even really getting married. He didn't need to know anything about her. He just had to deal with her.

That was it.

* * *

><p>Yes, staring at the object was a very reasonable action to do.<p>

"I cannot believe you fuckin' wedged your bed in my bedroom."

"Well, I didn't want to be sleeping in your living room, _on a couch_. Revolting."

"I'm gonna have to climb over your bed just to get to mine."

"Find another route. Don't get your filthy paws on my bed."

Tatsumi groaned. He had a really long day. His day consisted of murderous, irritable, unreasonable, insane women. He just wanted to lie down forever and ever. He didn't want to have another heated argument with Hilda over the position of her bed — no matter how stupid the position she put it in was.

"Couldn't you ask your workers to push it across my bed, then?" Tatsumi questioned. A yawn escaped his mouth.

"I put it in here," Hilda said. "My workers were such little girls. I fired every one of them, because they were irritating and so I didn't have to pay them."

"When the fuck did you put your bed in my room?" He paused. "And you did it _by yourself_?"

She nodded. "Why so surprised? And I did it just this morning, while you were sleeping."

If Tatsumi was fully energized, he would've bombarded her with tons of questions. He would've asked how she managed to bring the bed in his apartment and in his bedroom with_out_ waking him up. He was a heavy sleeper, but he wasn't _that _bad. He also would've asked where she got all this monstrous strength, because it was starting to freak him out — and impress him.

He stretched his arms and headed for her bed. He bent down, knees forward, and grabbed the bedpost. Quite effortlessly, Tatsumi pushed the bed all the way to the wall, across his. There was about three feet of space between the two beds. The nightstand was in between.

His room looked cramped and in a disarray, but he would worry about it tomorrow (or never).

Speedily, he walked over to his bed and collapsed on it, body embracing the feel of his covers. He heard Hilda _hmph _to herself and mutter curses directed at him, but he ignored her. He soon heard her shut off the lamplight and nestle into her covers.

He didn't know why, but he asked her, "Do you think we'll actually get through this?"

"'This' as in getting married?" she clarified quietly.

"Yeah."

"Of course. After all the troubles we've been through, it's only natural that we meet our goal." She was silent for a while. "Are you getting cold feet?"

"Nah, they're pretty warm."

"Fool, I meant are you having second thoughts about our pseudo-marriage?"

"Hilda, I'm _always _gonna have second thoughts. This idea's been ridiculous from day one. But … you're right — we gotta at least finish what we started. We told a lot of people, 'specially my family. We'll cause too much shit if one of us backs down."

"Hmmm, you actually sounded … mature," she commented.

"I am mature."

"I said you _sounded _mature."

Tatsumi rolled his eyes but smirked to himself. Although he despised Hilda, he was beginning to sort of tolerate her. It seemed like the sign of the Apocalypse, but still — it would've been pure hell if he was going to fake marry someone he would always, always loathe. He was starting to like her.

He shuddered.

_I don't like her. I will _never _like her_, he thought, disgusted.

Out of nowhere, the memory of them kissing in his old kitchen conjured up in his mind. He remembered the feeling of her plump lips and how petite and soft she was in his arms. He saw her right eye glazed with hazy lust. He started feeling warmer than usual.

"What the fuck?" he said aloud. What was wrong with him

"What?" Hilda murmured sleepily.

"Oh, never mind."

"Ugh, I was already on the verge of sleeping," she spat. She grumbled to herself. He heard rustling, so that meant she was changing positions.

Tatsumi squeezed his eyes shut tightly, hoping that he would forget that awful memory. He would never again kiss that coldblooded monster. That was a one-time event he was going to avoid. What was she thinking, anyways? Damn.

He sighed to himself and threw an arm over his eyes.

"'Night, bitch."

She sighed, as well, though irritably. "Good_night_, sewer rat."

_Well, that was a new one._

* * *

><p>— Kunieda <em>will <em>be back, folks. anticipate her appearance.

chapter 10 will be the end for _part one _of the series, okay? so basically, the story will be divided up into 10 chapters. hopefully, I'll be able to reach the 20th chapter — and _maybe _further on, varying on how this story will progress.

although the genres for this story are humor/romance, expect **drama**. there's no story without **drama**. _bwahahahahaha._

savvy_?_

m'kay, so review_!_


	11. AND I DO NOT HAVE PORES!

Hilda wasn't an idiot.

(That was Tatsumi's job.)

But marrying Tatsumi was the most ridiculous action she had ever agreed to doing — possibly the _only _ridiculous action she had ever done in her livelihood. She considered herself as a very reasonable person, especially when it came to circumstances dealing with her life. But of course when life eventually got quite … _unbearable_, she just had to grab onto the opportunity that would save her life from poverty, even if it was coming from an act of desperation.

She loathed the fact that she had come to this. She was actually marrying somebody she didn't know at all and whom she incredibly _detested_. Coming from a noble family, that was a disgrace to herself and to her family.

But this was life, and this was how she was dealing with it.

At least she wasn't marrying him because she _loved _the idiot.

_That _would've been a disgrace.

Oga Tatsumi was the epitome of fools. Hilda had never once met someone so brash, disrespectful, moronic, ungrateful, disgusting, terrible, and unsanitary. She didn't think it was plausible until she had met him.

Here was a list of traits, mannerisms, quirks, etc. Hilda despised about Oga Tatsumi:

She hated how he had no table manners. She hated how he wouldn't listen to her. She hated his clothing; the fool wore what was lying about on the ground. She hated his face. She hated his hair. She hated how he snored — it was _deafening_, and she resisted the urge to shove two pillows down his throat (she did it once, though). She hated his reckless behavior. She hated his immaturity. She hated his inhuman intake of food; he never saved some for her. She hated his ripped muscles. She hated his abs. She hated how warm he could be. She hated how he sometimes stared at her as if he knew what she was thinking and could see right through her so transparently. She hated his rare kindness.

Oh, and most of all —

Hilda scowled and slammed her forehead on the table.

— she hated how he could be so attractive. Sometimes.

"Oi, what're you doing?" aforementioned sometimes attractive fool asked her.

"Thinking — something you never do," she retorted. She sat up straightly. "I should teach you the basics. First off, you should have a fuckin' brain."

He sneered at her. "Ha-ha-_ha_," he laughed sarcastically. "Anyways, bitch, my mom and my sister are here to discuss wedding shit."

"You have to be there for the shit."

"That's chick shit."

"It's still shit you have to cooperate with."

"Shit no."

Her right eye glimmered with hatred. See what she had to deal with? "Shit _yes_. Now, if you don't accompany me, you will die."

"Try me, woman. Who're you gonna marry now? 'S not like any fucker's gonna wanna get hitched with you." He smirked.

"You insufferable bas — " She stopped once Misaki and Tatsumi's mom strolled into the living room.

"We couldn't find any slippers," Tatsumi's mom announced, frowning at her son. "Why don't you have slippers?"

He rolled his eyes. "I don't exactly get visitors all the time, Ma."

"Yes, because he lacks social skills. It's very tragic knowing my Tatsumi has no friends other than his white-haired slave." She wiped a tear and stood straight up determinedly. "Don't you worry, Tatsumi's mother and Misaki-san. I will not only be Tatsumi's wife and lover, but I will also be his friend."

Tatsumi created a horrendous, fake smile. "Isn't she _amazing_?" he asked.

The three girls (and Tatsumi) settled into the living room. Misaki and her mother placed multiples of wedding magazines they had stashed at their homes, bought with their own money, and stole from beauty salons. Tatsumi's mom immediately discussed about the type of wedding (traditional, Western?), décor (pastels, primary, compact?), catering (Japanese, Macanese, or a mixture of both?), venue (garden, church, ocean view?), and the amount of guests cordially invited (50-100 or 100-200?).

However, before they could discuss wedding dresses, Misaki asked the question that haunted the duo.

"Where's the ring? I just noticed that now."

Tatsumi's mother glanced at Hilda's bare ring finger. "Oh, goodness. Where's your ring, Hilda-chan?" she inquired concernedly. She gave Tatsumi a reprimanding look. "Did you lose it?"

"What?! How could _I _lose it when _she's _the one wearing it?!" He glanced nervously at Hilda's way. "Ask her. She'll provide the answers."

_Asshole. _"Tatsumi's a poor fuck — I mean, man," she explained, mouth twitching at Tatsumi's glare on her "slip-up."

Tatsumi's mother nodded for her to go on. "And … ?" she pressed.

_Oh, I thought what I said was self-explanatory. _"He couldn't possibly afford to buy me such an expensive jewel. I am well-informed of his tragic situation, so I understand _perfectly_." _And it's not like the fool has any _taste _anyway._

"That is still inexcusable." Tatsumi's mother directed her eyes towards her irresponsible son. "You should've worked your hardest to get that ring for Hilda-chan, Tatsumi! That was the only thing you had to spend on! We've got _everything _covered."

"Well, she already said 'yes,' so I don't need to buy crap," Tatsumi informed her, yawning out loud shamelessly. "Now, are you people done discussing all this wedding shit so I can sleep?"

Misaki clicked her tongue. "You are one shitty husband, Tatsumi," she commented, shaking her head.

Hilda's fiancé left the living room, ignoring all the piercing stares following his direction.

Hilda didn't mind that she had no ring. It was useless since she didn't plan on being wed to Tatsumi. They were going to divorce each other once they collected all the money from the gifts. Of course they were going to wait a while; it would cause suspicion among their friends and families if they divorced just days after their wedding.

Unless one of them died.

(Which _certainly _wasn't going to be her.)

"I still don't understand what you see in my idiot of a younger brother, Hilda-chan," Misaki was saying. "I mean, he treats everything with such an apathetic attitude. He doesn't take anything seriously. He has no ambition, no _drive_. He doesn't know what the hell he wants with his life. All he does is beat up punks that are asking for it. Jeez."

"However," Tatsumi's mother inputted, casting a stern glance towards her eldest, "we can see that Tatsumi cares for you very much." She smiled, eyes twinkling.

Hilda wasn't sure how to respond to that. _He must be a good actor, but then again, his family _is _gullible_. "And I, too, care about Tatsumi very much."

"I know you do, sweetie. I can see it clearly."

Misaki nodded. "I like how you can deal with his shit and throw it back at him."

"It comes with the job of being a wife, right? Dealing with your husband's aggravating quirks?" At least, that was what she had read in a magazine.

Tatsumi's mother agreed, smiling even more widely. Misaki laughed softly.

Seeing how ecstatic Tatsumi's family was made Hilda feel … uneasy.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry!"<p>

"You're _sorry_?! You slammed the freakin' door in my face, you rude creep!"

"I thought you were a girl scout! You're kinda dressed like one … "

"Oh, so you're cosplaying as an annoying girl scout now? I don't know a manga character that does that."

Lamia flashed her angry greens at Tatsumi. "Shut up! Why do you have such a stupid, creepy friend?!" She huffed, cheeks tinged with flaming red.

"Lamia, you're wrong," Hilda interjected from the couch.

Furuichi's eyes glittered with happiness. He interlocked his fingers together and held them to his chest. "Hilda-san!" he exclaimed. "Tell her I'm not a cree — "

"He's Oga's stupid, creepy _slave_," she corrected.

Tatsumi nodded in agreement, flipping through the channels quietly.

Realization dawned on the pink-haired girl's face. "Ahhh, now I understand, Hilda-neesan."

Furuichi crawled towards the corner. He positioned himself into a fetal position and whimpered depressing songs to himself.

"Hilda-neesan!" Lamia called out in whiny tone. "I don't want to work with that _loser _in the corner! His creepiness might be contagious!" She shivered in repulsion.

"He can't help his creepiness, Lamia. His pores spill it out, too," Tatsumi informed her. He settled on the food network, stomach grumbling. Coincidentally, they were preparing a special dish involving croquettes.

"WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?" Furuichi wailed loudly. "AND I DO NOT HAVE PORES!"

"Well, you're my maid-of-honor, Lamia. The maid-of-honor and the best man have to work together with whatever needs to be worked on. I believe you have to prepare the speeches, and you are the emcees of the wedding reception." She read through the list, double-checking if she got all of what she told Lamia was accurate.

Lamia slumped on the ground, back against the couch. Her lower lip jutted out, pout forming. "Fine," she relented, casting a dark look Furuichi's way.

"Well" — Tatsumi stood up from the couch, slapping his thighs for effect — "I've got things to do."

"Where are you going? We have details to discuss," Hilda said, narrowing her eyes at him. He was _not _going to dump all of the responsibilities on her.

"It concerns the wedding, Hilda, don't worry. Jeez." He rolled his eyes at her pulled on his jacket. "I'll be back 'round … later. Save some burgers for me."

He waved and left.

Come to think of it, Tatsumi had been heading out a lot of times and ended up coming home in the middle of the night. He would interrupt her glorious slumber, slamming doors and such rudely. He'd enter the room and all but collapse on his bed, yawning and sighing in in pure relief.

_Ugh, that bastard. I bet he's going to sneak over to our apartment and play his ghastly videogames again. _She shook her head. _I should've destroyed those contraptions as soon as he took them from his old room._

Hilda regarded the creep. "Hey. Creepichi."

_Sniff, sniff. _"Y-Yes?"

"I'm going to grab some ingredients from your kitchen. It's about time I cooked for that lazy-ass."

All tears vanished instantly. "You're just gonna _grab _them — ?"

She shot him the look of death.

He _eep_ed and cowered back into the corner.

* * *

><p>His groan filled with exhaustion and the slamming of the door alerted Hilda that her wonderful hubby was home. (Sarcasm, sarcasm.)<p>

She let out a long sigh and wiped her hands on the apron she got from Tatsumi's mom. She leaned back against the kitchen counter and crossed her slender arms over her chest. She waited until he came.

And in he came. He was busy sniffing the air, puzzlement written on his face. He stopped walking once he spotted her against the counter.

"You can cook?" Tatsumi questioned, sounding astonished.

Hilda glared. "Why do you sound so shocked?"

"I dunno, it's just you never mentioned that you can cook … or even cooked the past few weeks we've been living together." He took folded his arms on the island where the meal was at, which was covered with a domed net. His eyes lit up. "You made croquettes?"

She smiled. It was merely out of smug, not happiness out of seeing his happiness. "Try them. I made them _especially _for you."

At that, his dark eyes narrowed down in distrust. " … What'd you put in 'em?" he asked lowly.

"The ingredients. Eat it already."

He took off the net and grabbed a pair of chopsticks. He took one piece, but before he was about to take a large bite, he paused.

Hilda was getting antsy. She had never cooked for anyone before. "What?" she snapped impatiently.

"Why does it look like it's … smirking at me?"

"It must be your imagination."

"And … " — he pinched his nose — "why does it smell like this? It smelled good when I came in, but now it smells like sewer shit."

Hilda growled. "You're the sewer shit, sewer rat. Eat the damn thing already!"

"What the hell? Why're you so hell-bent on making me eat your food, huh? You probably _did _poison it!"

"I didn't! Now eat it!"

"Then why does it look that way? Don't tell me you're still on that insane hit-list of yours?!"

"Take a bite already, Oga Tatsumi! And I _told you _— I'm saving you for last! Be _thankful_!"

"Hell-fuckin'-no, bitch!"

* * *

><p>Hilda scowled as soon as Tatsumi entered the bathroom. She began vigorously brushing her teeth, wishing that if she did all the bacteria would just <em>go away<em>. He leaned around her and grabbed his toothbrush from the cup. He snatched the toothpaste tube and smeared an ungodly amount of toothpaste on his toothbrush. He put the tube back, not even closing it. He began brushing.

Through the mirror, she was glowering lasers of anger. She was still pissed off at him for insulting her cooking and _not eating her croquettes_. She cooked for him. He should be grateful towards her. She had to get food from the creep himself and spent her free time attempting to create croquettes _for him_. She figured she could try out the housewife role.

He didn't seem to notice her glowers. He must be ignoring her.

Simultaneously, both heads lowered down to spit out the liquid. And then _BAM _— temples clocked each other hard and painfully. They lifted a hand to rub the side that was hurt.

"The fuck is wrong with you, demon?!" Tatsumi shouted at her, toothpaste foam smudged around his mouth.

She spat out the foam flooding her mouth. She quickly wiped her mouth of any traces of the foam. "Didn't you _see _me bending down already, idiot?! And you came minutes after me; you're not done yet brushing, you pile of shit!" _He has no common courtesy. Couldn't he admit his faults? _Hilda thought bitterly.

"Oh, shut up! What, now ya gotta nag on my brushing?" He didn't wait for her answer and proceeded to spit out the liquid. He grabbed the empty cup next to Hilda and poured water in it.

"That's _my _cup!" Hilda said.

"My apartment, my _stuff_." He began to gurgle the water, facing the ceiling, and then spat it out. He wiped his face with his sleeve.

"The cup happens to be one of my antiques!"

"Yeah, yeah." He waved her off and departed to the bedroom.

Hilda mentally made sure that his death wouldn't only be slow and painful. She wiped the cup with her towel, disinfecting all of Tatsumi's bacteria off of it. She then filled the cup with water, gargled, and spat. She wiped her face off with a new towel. She would remember to burn the towel filled with Tatsumi's bacteria in the morning. She headed off to the bedroom.

In their shared bedroom, she saw Tatsumi changing the covers of his pillows. He dumped the covers inside the hamper — there was no use in having one since the fool didn't even wash his clothes — and pulled some new ones on his pillows.

Hilda settled into her bed, fluffing her head pillow twice.

"Hilda, wait," Tatsumi said suddenly.

Her hand retreated from the lamplight. She raised an eyebrow at him. "What?" she asked, exhaustion transparent in her tone.

He walked over to her bedside. He had a casual expression on his face, but she could see that he looked … nervous. It began to make her curious as to what he had to say.

He inserted his hand in his pajama's right pocket and pulled out a velvety box. Since she was already lying sideways on her bed, he knelt down to regard her properly. He opened the box.

Normally, Hilda was a rather stoic woman, but seeing _this_ brought many emotions to her face.

Inside the box was a ring. It had a thin gold band. The center was a pearl with gold, intricate trimming. The design was so simple, but it was, for the lack of better word, beautiful. Impeccably so.

Tatsumi grabbed her left hand without permission and slid the ring where it belonged. It fit perfectly and complimented her slender hand very well.

_Oh my goodness_ was all Hilda thought. As soon as Tatsumi let go of her hand — he held it for a while there — she brought her hand up to the light and inspected it. It truly was beautiful.

"I know you told my mom and my sister that you didn't need a ring," he started, rubbing the nape of his neck, "but I could see that you kinda wanted one. So, Toujou got me a part-time job at the warehouse. I helped out with inventory."

"That explains your late-night adventures," Hilda murmured, awe-struck. She felt something stirring in the pit of her stomach. She also felt pretty warm. "How do you know my ring size?" _Did he ask Lamia?_

He looked at her. "Lucky guess," he answered quietly.

She stared at him silently, relishing the feel of the ring. She always wondered how it felt like to have an engagement ring on. It felt … nice.

"Do you expect me to thank you?"

He scoffed. "No, 'course not. That's not you." He grabbed the chain around her neck and pulled it out from underneath her nightgown, thumb caressing the pendant. "I saw the ring and thought it matched your necklace."

She watched him stare at her most prized possession with lidded eyes. Was this a dream? Was he actually doing this? Did he _really _buy her a ring?

She couldn't believe how translucent she was in his eyes.

Tatsumi let go of the ring and stood up. He placed the box on the nightstand. "So, yeah, that's that. 'Night, Hilda." He yawned loudly and got into bed. He turned off the lamplight.

Hilda was stroking the ring with her thumb. She noticed her right hand was clutching her necklace tightly. Her heart was hammering against her ribs. She felt really, really warm. What was going on with her?

She faced the man sleeping next to her and smiled gently. It wasn't like he was going to see it anyways.

"Oga," she called.

He grunted.

"I won't cut off your balls anymore, okay?"

" … Uh, thanks."

"Goodnight."

"'Night."

She fell asleep with her left hand cradled in her chest.

* * *

><p>— &amp; now we are graced with Hilda's perspective of things, which will continue on throughout part ii of the storeh.<p>

I always thought that Hilda was the first one being affected with her feelings (y'know, like admiration, respect, yadda, yadda … ) towards Tatsumi. I kind of noticed that in the manga. We never get a clear view of Tatsumi's feelings towards Hilda; they're always subtle. But I'm glad we saw it when Hilda got amnesia. That was remarkable. :)

Muh feels, guys, muh _feels!_

But it's _so_ hard inserting romance. The two hardly show any affection, and Tatsumi's not a romantic. -_-

Expect new characters, peeps.

Review_!_


	12. Beelzy's Good Enough

_Tatsumi rifled through the kitchen cabinets. He was hoping to find anything sweet to eat. All he saw were bags of chips and ingredients for some crap he didn't care about. Furuichi needed to stock up on different types of junk food for Tatsumi to steal from him. He was tired of always stealing _only _chips from him._

_Hilda wasn't here, so he couldn't bother her to buy him something sweet. _

_Yes, _buy_, not _cook_. Anything Hilda cooked up was meant to scar you for life or … end your life._

_So, anyways, Hilda went with his mom, sister, and Lamia to meet up with the caterer. He originally was supposed to go, but he was "feeling under the weather." Of course none of them believed his bullshit, but they knew better than to have him accompany them. He would be useless._

_He opened up the freezer box, checking to see if there were any ice pops. Much to his dismay, there wasn't any._

_"Where the hell can I find something sweet?" he grumbled, slamming the freezer close._

_"Right here," a voice purred sensually in his ear. All of a sudden, he felt slender arms encircle around his torso._

_Tatsumi's eyes widened at the sudden contact and twisted around, shoving whoever creep was molesting him away.  
><em>

_The molester pouted at him. "Tatsumi!" she whined in an exaggerated high-pitched voice. "Why did you push me away?"_

_"Who the fuck are you?"_

_The woman before him looked greatly astonished. "I'm Hilda, Tatsumi," the impostor informed him. _

_"No, you're not." Damn it, he asked for something sweet and got a psycho._

_"I _am_! Are you suffering from mental loss, baby?"_

_"You only look like Hilda, lady," Tatsumi remarked, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "Who're you? How'd you get in my apartment?"_

_The woman's eyes abruptly gleamed with wickedness. "And I thought you were stupid."_

_"I have my moments."_

_"Not many people actually have the capability to distinguish between me and that bitch." She flipped her long ponytail off her shoulder haughtily. "Quite … interesting, you are."_

_He continued staring at her blankly, waiting for answers._

_"My name is Yolda, Hilda's sister. Unfortunately, she's older than me." Her left hand curled into a dangerous fist at that. "And thus, she thinks she's better than me. How could you be betrothed to such a skank, Tatsumi?"_

Bitchiness runs in the family_, Tatsumi observed in his mind._

_Before he could reply, she speedily ran to his chest and leaned on it, hands resting on his shoulders. Her face was much too close to his. He can feel her hot breath fanning his face. Her fingers danced sultrily on him.  
><em>

_"I'd like to see … just what … Hilda sees in you … ," Yolda whispered seductively, green eyes smoldering with lust._

_"OGA TATSUMI!" _

_Yolda pulled away from Tatsumi but continued leaning against his chest. Tatsumi, irritated, pushed her away and brushed off the parasites her body gave him, shuddering. He dealt with Hilda's constant intimacy one too many times. He certainly didn't want to deal with a stranger's touches, _even if _she was the spitting image of Hilda._

_At the archway of the kitchen stood Kunieda who was blushing profusely. She clutched a bag of snacks. Tatsumi's eyes brightened at the bags, hoping to see if she bought any sweets for him.  
><em>

_"And you are?" the Hilda-lookalike asked sweetly. "Another whore?"  
><em>

_A look of surprise crossed over Kunieda's face. " … You're not Hilda, right?" she asked distrustfully._

_Yolda clapped her hands together. "Oh, my mistake! Another _non-idiot_!" A snide look passed her way all of a sudden. "Friend of Hilda's?"_

_"Hell no, she's my bridesmaid," came a feminine tone from behind._

_Yolda's smile twitched at the sight of the other blonde bombshell. "Hilda … ," she said, acridity seeping out of her sugary tone._

_Hilda was clutching an umbrella, rage swirling around her right eye. "Yolda," she greeted irritably. "What the hell are you and your bitches doing here?"_

_Said "bitches" appeared out of nowhere and walked past Hilda to Yolda. None of them uttered a single word, but everybody could sense the dislike they had towards Hilda. If Yolda hated her, they hated her. It was like some type of clich_é_d high school drama.  
><em>

_Tatsumi's fiancée regarded Tatsumi angrily. "What, having Furuichi at the side doesn't satisfy you enough? Oga Tatsumi, what the hell is going — ?"_

"You can stop now. I just asked what she was doing here. You didn't have to say what just happened a few minutes ago, stupid," Hilda told Tatsumi.

"Tch, you asked, jeez," Tatsumi mumbled, ending his story.

"I came here to hand-deliver a video message from the Lord Beelzebub III himself," Yolda announced, eyes twinkling shiningly. "It must've been incredibly classified and personal to actually have it hand-delivered by me to you. I'm quite sure the Lord's aware of our … relationship, hm?"

"Can you just shut up and hand it to me already?" Hilda snapped.

Yolda's left eye twitched in annoyance. "Fuck off, bitch. Let me finish," she said with a faux, bright smile. "As soon as you both — yes, your ugly fiancé has to see it, as well — finish listening to the message, it is an absolute _must _that you reply back urgently. The Lord doesn't like to wait, right, Hilda?"

Tatsumi was amazed. "Whoa, we're gonna meet the hotshot himself?" And then he became even more amazed. "Is he gonna give us dough for me — erm, the wedding?"

_Dumbass_, Hilda thought.

"Oh, Hilda! Your fiancé is quite the idiot, isn't he? Izabella, Satura, didn't I _specifically _state that they were to _watch _the video message to them? I did _not say_ that they would be personally meeting him." Yolda walked up to Tatsumi and pinched his cheek hard. "You're so stupid, you silly peasant!"

Hilda yawned to herself. The wedding was exhausting her a lot. "Okay, leave now," she said offhandedly.

Izabella narrowed her eyes at her. "We haven't even given you the message yet," she said.

The soon-to-be-wed woman regarded her rather lazily, as if she wasn't necessary to speak to. "Then why don't you just give the damn message to me already so I don't have to see your repulsive faces ever again?" she suggested darkly.

"Someone's on their period," Yolda sang. She began fishing around for the CD case around her bra.

Tatsumi leaned over to whisper in Hilda's ear: "Damn, she still has room in there?"

Hilda elbowed him in the guts.

Finally, Yolda brought out the case and held it out towards Hilda who took it roughly from her hand. She didn't take one glance at it. Her eyes continued staring at the three women, waiting for them to just disappear already. Unfortunately, they stayed rooted at their spot.

A glittery smile spread out on Yolda's face. "Hilda, my darling sister, let's talk privately for just moment. I mean, we haven't seen one another in such a long time. Why don't we … catch up, hm?" she proposed. She may look all polite and innocent, but Hilda knew her bitch of a sister inside out.

The two siblings sauntered outside of the apartment, Hilda eyeing her little sister suspiciously.

Tatsumi regarded the remaining women, who were giving him looks of repugnance. He merely flipped them, plopped onto the couch, and began reading a random manga lying on ground. He ignored the opened-mouth expressions.

Hilda leaned against the railing and crossed her arms over her chest. "Speak," she commanded coldly.

"Now, now, Hildagarde — "

"Quit the façade you're pulling. You know that you can't fool me, Yolda." _And you never will_, she added mentally.

The ecstatic smile slipped away almost instantly. "You're not getting married," Yolda stated.

"What are you talking about? I _am _getting married." Hilda held up her left hand, making sure her beautiful ring was in view. She felt a surge of smugness and pride Just by revealing her ring. "See the evidence?"

Yolda laughed callously. "And you should know that _you _can't fool _me_, Hilda. I know you much too well. You would never, _ever _marry the likes of him. He has no nobility within his blood — I can sense it. He has the brain of a grain of rice. He has no _money_. He is, for the lack of better word, trash." She looked confident at her knowledge.

She was correct, though — about everything she had just said. But for some reason, fury burned through her veins. Her glower worsened. God, she hated her.

"Oga's a sewer rat, not trash, you irritating wench," Hilda barked. "Get your facts straight before you start spitting out bullshit."

Both hands curled into hard fists. "Bullshit? I can tell that you can't stand the guy. When he was telling you what just happened minutes ago, you were staring at him rather disgustingly. No sign of passionate love whatso_ever_." She rolled her eyes at Hilda. "Don't think that you can _actually _get married before _me_."

Realization dawned on the bride-to-be. She smirked sinisterly. " … Is that what this is about?" she inquired. "You're _envious _over the fact that _I'm _getting wedded before you. That's _pathetic_."

Heated red arose on Yolda's cheeks. She scoffed. "M-More bullshit!" she cried out, obviously lying. "Like I'm actually jealous over you marrying that slob in there!"

"It's not the man, _it's the fact that I'm getting married before you and it's driving you insane_," Hilda emphasized to rile her up even more. "Once news traveled around that I was getting married, you marched right up to Lord Beelzebub III and offered to deliver his message to me _just _to give you an excuse to give me a piece of your _jealous_ mind."

"That is _not _true! Who am I to deny the Lord of his request?"

"Who dares to? And I didn't even mention that. You heard that he was going to send me a message — no, wait, you _knew _he would want to send me a message regarding my proposal." Hilda shook her head at her sister. "Such a scheming bitch."

Yolda gritted her teeth. "Screw you, Hilda," she said furiously.

Seeing how much she was suffering by her right judgment, Hilda felt complacent. She was always right. "Oh, so I'm right?" she questioned, still smirking.

"You don't love that idiot, Hilda," Yolda said suddenly. "You don't. And if you go through with this fake-ass wedding, then I am going to ruin it _personally_. With the help of Izabella and Satura, of course."

Hilda wished she was being dishonest, but she did know Yolda fully well. She would. Her main aspiration as of now was to literally ruin her life.

"Just try, you bitch. I'll make _sure _you wouldn't look like me anymore," Hilda threatened intimidatingly.

"Like I want to! I loathe how we look way too much like each other just as much as you do!" She shuddered, looking like she wanted to rip her face off. Hilda would _gladly _do it for her. "And I will not _try _to ruin your wedding, Hilda — I _will _ruin your wedding. I will expose the truth to your family and friends."

She let out a sly smile. "Oh wait. You don't_ have _any family and friends, do you? So … it shouldn't matter to you if they _hated _you, right?"

Hilda confirmed it. Yolda's death was going to be far, _far _worse than the deaths of those on her to-die list. It was saying something considering how detailed Oga's death was.

"So it seems like you want to die young, huh, Yolda?"

"Do you think I'm think I'm an idiot?" _Yes_, she thought. "Do you honestly think that I'm going to believe the fact that you're in love with that moron?" Yolda questioned, eyes holding a sinister glare.

Yolda let out a snooty chuckle. "I know you, Hilda. You'd rather _hug _me than marry him."

Hilda raised a delicate eyebrow. "If you _did _know me that well, Yolda, then you would know that I would rather marry a thousand fools than _hug you_." She hardened her glare. "Now, take your pathetic minions and leave the premises before I whack you with an umbrella. Or knock you off this building."

Her sister's curled fist twitched at her side. "Watch it, _sissy_. I'll make _sure_ you won't be able to walk down that altar. Izabella, Satura!"

In a flash, the other two ladies appeared behind Yolda. They were both glaring at her, as well, ready to strike immediately if necessary.

Hilda moved the umbrella just a bit, grip tightening. All three seemed to have noticed the imperceptible movement and stilled visibly. Yolda scowled at her and left, the two trailing behind. The door slammed, reverberating.

Hilda entered the apartment. She hadn't ever felt such boiling hot rage. She seriously wanted to strangle the life out of her demonic sister. Why the hell was she related to _her_?

She saw Tatsumi lounging about on the sofa nonchalantly. It was like nothing happened. It seemed as if nothing deterred him anymore. It was a good thing sometimes; she wouldn't have to explain so much to him.

"Hey!" Kunieda shouted, waving her arms in the air. "Why does it seem like I was _ignored _the entire time I was here?!"

"Get used to it," Hilda snapped, not wanting to deal with Tatsumi's whore. "And get out. Your presence besmirches my brain."

Kunieda was offended. She grumbled lowly to herself and left, slamming the door with the bag of snacks, much to Tatsumi's obvious dismay. Hilda made sure to tell Tatsumi to insepect it for any damages. She didn't want to deal with any household damages right now. She only wanted to deal with a certain person's face damage.

"Kunieda was here?" Tatsumi asked, eyes focused on the manga.

"Apparently so." Hilda collapsed on the sofa. She inspected the CD case.

"No wonder why I heard some fly bugging me while I was reading. The two other chicks didn't seem to notice." He noticed the case. "Wanna watch it now?"

Hilda nodded. She was kind of relieved Tatsumi wasn't bothering her about her sister. "Yes. You have a laptop?"

"Nope." He pulled one out from underneath the throw pillow he was lying on. "But Furuichi does."

The blonde didn't question any further. Immediately, she inserted the CD in the disk holder and pressed play.

The video had horrible, horrible quality. It was ironic since the Great Lord was much too affluent for his own good. All she saw were pixelated colors and rustling sounds.

_"Hilda!" a voice she hadn't heard and knew all too well exclaimed._

Surprisingly, the sound was perfect. It was like he was there with them in the living room.

"The fuck?" she heard Tatsumi mutter.

The pixels continued flying around the laptop screen. _"Hilda! I heard you were getting married! That's so, like, cool! I would've never imagined that! I imagined any guy who would even glance at you would, like, I don't know, _die _already or something like that! Like, this is, like — stop moving the camera! Hilda can't see my flawless face!" Lord Beelzebub III was yelling happily._

"The _fuck_?" Tatsumi repeated, loudly this time.

_"My Lord, the location's interfering with — ," someone began._

_"Pish-that-posh! Nothing's interfering with anything! Just continue and stop moving! Oh my gosh, Hilda, if you were still here, I wouldn't have to deal with all of these thingies." _Sigh. _"Anzywayz! This message is basically about me congratulating you since I cannot do it in person 'cause I'm, like, busy … and stuff._

_"I expect an invitation, Hilda! Don't forget about me! Make sure a picture of you and your soon-to-be hubby-wubby is on it or with it so I can see you two! How's your hubby, huh? Handsome? Charismatic? You know, the traits that can ultimately rule the world? L-O-L, kiddin'!"_

Hilda smiled. She missed her Lord.

However, Tatsumi's face still looked irritated and disgusted.

_"You know that falls in the hands of my sons, right?!" _Pause. The video was mute for a few seconds. _"'Kay, sorry, Hilda. The fool in front of me is telling me to get straight to the point 'cause the memory card's running low or whatever. Not like I care. I can buy more, but whatevs, whatevs!_

_"There's a note inside the CD case. I expect you to answer that. An employee from my postal service will come by soon to pick it up, m'kay? Got it? Capiche? Hmmmmm?_

_"Okay, so, like, bye! And bye to you, too, Hilda's lovah! Almost forgot you were listening to it too! Toodles! See you at the wedding, Hilda!"_

It turned black.

"The dude's a fuckin' freak," Tatsumi commented irritably. "My eardrums hurt from his voice."

Hilda punched his right arm hard.

"Ow! Bitch, what was that for?!"

"Do _not _— and I repeat _not _— insult the Great Lord Beelzebub III!"

"Why you gotta say his entire name? Beelzy's good enough."

He got punched again.

* * *

><p>"Um, Hilda-neesan?"<p>

"And afterwards, it shall be sliced up into bits and pieces with the — "

"Hilda-neesan?"

" — knives. I should use the mortar and pestle to crush it evenly. It'll satisfy my needs more."

"Hilda-n — "

"I have to find the machete … in case she runs away before then."

"Hilda-neesan!" Lamia finally cried out. "What are you mumbling about?"

"Hm?"

"Are you planning to _kill _— ?"

Hilda held up a picture of an incredibly obese-looking hog. "I've read in the newspaper that they've been trying to catch this hog. They even named her Obesity. There's a reward, but I thought that she would make a great add-on to a recipe I'm working on." She pursed her lips. "Oga needs to be my taste-tester … "

"Hilda-neesan, I noticed you switch names a lot."

"What do you mean?"

"I — I mean … you call Oga 'Tatsumi' and then you call him 'Oga.' Since you're marrying him, shouldn't you be strictly on a first-name basis? And — " she broke off, sighing. "You're hiding something from me, aren't you?"

Hilda stared at her for a few seconds. "The wedding's a fake," she said.

"A _what_?"

"None of it's true. I despise Oga. He despises me. It's all for money."

"S-So straight_forward_, Hilda-neesan. I'm getting kind of overwhelmed."

Hilda took out two knives and began slicing them up on each other to sharpen them up. The sound was soothing to her ears.

"It's quite apparent, isn't it? Especially to you, Lamia. You know that I am in desperate need of money. Oga is in debt. We both came up with this ridiculous idea of marrying each other to bring us out of our miseries." She laughed without humor, still sharpening. "Shockingly, it's working."

"Wow," Lamia murmured. "I knew something was up, but I didn't think that this was all a lie."

The way she phrased her sentence made Hilda add more pressure onto the knives.

"I'm 100% on your back, though, Hilda-neesan. I'll support everything you do." She got silent and then — "But it did seem like you care about, Oga Tatsumi."

Hilda stopped. "What?" she asked quietly.

"Well, although you hate him — completely understandable — you deal with him really well. You're comfortable around him, and you have this soft look in your eyes when you look at him. I noticed that recently." Lamia smiled brightly at her idol. "Good for you, Hilda-neesan."

_What in the world is she talking about? Dr. Furcas must be giving her some insane medication_, Hilda thought, resuming her sharpening.

Tatsumi entered the kitchen. "A freak of that damn Great Lord of yours went all up on me on my way home," he announced. "'Pparently, she's part of his postal service shit. She kept askin' me 'bout the case, but I don't know what shit she's talking about."

"Oh, she was supposed to come over here. I have the CD case with me, but I didn't open up the note yet," Hilda informed him. _I was too busy planning out Yolda's "suicide."_

"It's done already." He grimaced at the picture of the obese pig. "I told her who can come."

"What?"

"I told her who can come to the wedding."

"Wait, you know what's in the note?"

He snorted. "Like I'm gonna read that crap. The freak was like, 'So, between the two, who's going to be the ring bearer? The Lord needs to know immediately and blah, blah, blah … ' or some fuck like that." He yawned.

Hilda felt apprehension grow inside of her. "And who were the two?" she questioned.

"Don't know, don't care. I just told her whatever just so she can get off my back. Literally. The fuckin' bitch was hanging on my back and bugging me. _Damn._" He faced Lamia. "Shortie, what's for dinner?"

"Like I'm your maid, asshole!"

"You look like one."

"I. Am. A. Nurse!"

"Just stop it, Lamia; you suck at cosplaying."

"UGH!"

Hilda slammed her palm on the island. "What did you tell her, Oga?" she demanded.

Tatsumi looked slightly shocked by her strange attitude. "She gave me two names, and I just chose one," he answered. "What's up with you?"

"What name? What did you tell her?"

"His name was hard to pronounce."

"Tell me already, dumbass!"

"I don't know, dammit! Emperor Cheesecake Beelzebub the fifth or fourth or whatever!"

_Master?_

* * *

><p>— I feel like the humor dumbed down …<p>

& I wasn't bashing Kunieda; I just felt like it was funny having her play Furuichi's role. Lol.

But_! _I _told'ja _there was gon' be **drama**_!_

Sorry for ze late update, guys. Ya see … I freakin' have school.

Yay.

(Not.)

Review_!_


	13. I'll Make Him Piss on You

The look on their faces showed that this was the perfect wedding dress.

But Hilda didn't care — or even paid attention, at least. Her mind was somewhere far, far away. The wedding wasn't her problem. Tatsumi wasn't her problem. The idiots weren't her problem. Yolda wasn't her problem. Creepichi wasn't her problem. Money wasn't her problem.

No. As a matter of fact, something that she hadn't thought of in such a long time was currently residing in her reeling brain.

"So, Hilda-chan, what do you think?" Tatsumi's mother inquired, clasped hands held against her chest. She had an elated expression upon her face, eyes wide with delight.

"Master … ," Hilda murmured.

At that, Lamia's expression fell slightly.

"Hilda, the dress is _perfect _on you. It hugs you at the right curves — you're damn curvy, girl — and the intricate designs on the train make it all the more better," Misaki was saying. "Oh my gosh, and this is only the _third dress_. Doesn't that say something?"

Lamia smiled for her friend. "Hilda-neesan, do you like it?" Hilda could see bits of concern in her green eyes.

"I want it black," Hilda declared out of nowhere.

"Black?" Tatsumi's mother's eyebrows furrowed. She faced Lamia. "Is that part of the Macanese culture?"

Lamia explained, "The colors of the academy Hilda-neesan once attended are dark. Some people assume the building was originally built for the Gothic churches, making it a legend of some sort. Lolita fashion is a trend there, as well. It was influenced by that legend."

"And I like black," Hilda inputted.

"Well, black it is. Black goes well with your skin anyways, right? I'll go inform the tailor to have it custom-made for you." Tatsumi's mother approached the woman waiting patiently behind a set of racks filled with bridesmaid dresses.

Hilda immediately got out of the dress with the help of Lamia and the employee. It was a pain in the ass getting into it, and now it was a pain in the ass getting _out _of it. What the hell was up with wedding dresses?

A shrill ringtone began coming out of Misaki's jeans pocket. She fished through it and took out her cellphone. She scowled at the caller and answered the phone with a brusque "What?!"

Hilda stared at Misaki, knowing fully well that was Tatsumi.

"We are in the middle of an extremely important errand, stupid! Do not bother any of — Hilda-chan? Why do you want to talk to her? She's in the middle of someth — quit interrupting me, fucker! Just tell me what you have to say to her, fast. What do you mean it's between you and her? I am your sis — oh my gosh, I am going to rip your dick off after this. You are so fuckin' annoying, I swear. WHY ARE YOU SO FREAKIN' STUPID AND FREAKIN' UGH?!" Misaki finished up with a yell, cheeks red. She motioned for Hilda to take the phone. "It's my idiotic brother. He wants to speak to you."

Hilda answered as soon as she claimed the phone, "What, peasant?"

"We got a naked problem."

"How many times have I told you to put your boxers in the hamper during laundry day?"

"Wha — that's not what I'm talking about, woman!" _Pause. _"And I _do _put my boxers in the hamper!"

Hilda rolled her eyes, unconvinced. "Elaborate," she demanded tiredly.

"There's a naked baby in our living room," Tatsumi informed her slowly. "This is not a joke — I'm being serious. Furuichi's here, Alaindelon's here, _who_, by the way, delivered him here. He literally _delivered the damn baby with green hair. _You didn't order one, did you?"

Everything Tatsumi was rambling on and on about went through from the left ear to the right. She couldn't believe her master was here. She couldn't believe the adorable baby she had once served for quite some time was _here_. She was only a few blocks away from him. She could reach him instantly.

" … his dick is just _there_, and it's freaking me out, Hilda," her fiancé was saying nonsensically. "He's also just starin' at me like he's amazed at — "

Hilda pressed the _end _button and wordlessly handed it back to Misaki.

"Something wrong, Hilda-chan?" Misaki asked worriedly, eyebrows wrinkled.

Hilda faced her in-laws. "Lamia and I have womanly duties to attend to."

"Period?"

"Yes, if that's what you'd like to believe."

"Oh, okay. My mom and I will handle this. I'll make _sure _the tailor alters the dress accurately, or I'll have his or her ass," Misaki said assuredly, a hint of threat in her tone.

Hilda nodded. Before Tatsumi's sister could say anything else, she pulled Lamia away with her. As soon as the door closed, she went at breakneck speed. She had one person in mind, and she was going to go to him. She didn't care if many duties needed to be done for the wedding. She just needed to see him. Knowing that he was here within her reach made her feel relief.

She could finally have some peace in her life, the peace she had always wanted since she moved here.

She knew her master's purpose here: to be the ring bearer for the wedding. His purpose obviously entailed that he was going to stay here until the end of the wedding. It broke her heart being fully aware of that. However, she wasn't going to waste any amount of precious time. Although she was incredibly stressed out about the fake but not really fake wedding, her master was always, always number one in her list of priorities in life.

"Hil — " _pant _" — da — " _pant _" — n-n-nee — " _pant _" — san!"

Hilda kept running.

"You're — "

She grabbed the little girl and hoisted her on her back without hesitation. Lamia yelped at the sudden action and quickly wrapped her arms around Hilda's neck.

"Where are we going? What's going on?" Lamia yelled against the wind. "Hilda-neesan, you can't reach your location by running! We need to hail a cab!"

Hearing that, Hilda's reasonable side kicked in. Sometimes, she couldn't control her actions when it came to Beelzebub. It was one of her low points.

She spotted a fool riding his scooter like no tomorrow. He had long black hair tied into a low ponytail, a strand hanging over his face, and wore a purple pinstriped suit with matching trousers and a light purple undershirt. He was winking and saluting every girl he passed by, yelling out, "Good Night!" in a sing-song, flirtatious manner.

Hilda dug her heels into the pavement, stopping to a halt adjacent to the Scooter Fool. Lamia's face was an ill shade of green.

Scooter Fool stopped, as well. He winked at Hilda and smirked enticingly her way. "Good _Night_, my blonde beau — "

A fist connected with his face, knocking him off his scooter and sending him off flying into a nearby group of shady men. He landed in the middle of their discreet discussion about watermelons. They soon got irritated by the disruption and began beating him up, a couple "Good Nights" screamed here and there.

Hilda rode the scooter, Lamia holding onto her waist, still green.

As soon as the two girls arrived at the apartment building, Hilda abandoned the scooter and went straight for her apartment, Lamia barely trailing behind. The blonde-haired woman banged on her apartment door three times. She didn't wait for an answer and kicked the door open.

"SHIT!" someone yelled inside.

Hilda stormed inside the apartment, eyes whizzing around for her dear master.

Lamia collapsed as soon as she stepped into the apartment.

The engaged woman speed-walked to the living room and saw something she couldn't — _wouldn't _— ever in a million years believe.

Tatsumi was with a baby.

That baby happened to be Kaiser de Emperana Beelzebub IV, which she knew without a sure doubt.

Her disgusting fiancé happened to be having a glare-off with her master, who was sitting comfortably on the coffee table, nude for the world to see. Tatsumi was crouching to regard Beelzebub properly. Their faces were inches away from each other.

Furuichi began moaning from behind the door, which was slammed against the wall, which was caused by Hilda's impatience.

Lamia was still on the ground.

The glare-off continued on, unfazed.

Actually, it shouldn't be called a glare-off since Tatsumi was the only person doing the glaring. Hilda's master happened to be looking rather gleefully at him, admiration and glitter in his eyes. He looked like he was amazed at the fool crouching before him.

"Oga!" Hilda barked, annoyed by the anomalies in the abode.

Tatsumi broke contact with the baby and shouted out, "WHAT?!" before cursing, "DAMN IT!" and placing his hands in his head, growling to himself.

It started happening.

Everything was done dramatically. His head turned in slow-motion, green eyes meeting her awaiting ones. His eyes widened. A hint of smile appeared behind his pacifier. A low, shocked gasp escaped her mouth.

She let go of all restraints. She grabbed her master and snuggled him, holding him tightly against her chest. She heard a cry of happiness from him, and his pudgy hands gripped her neck. His powdery, baby-type smell welcomed her nostrils. He was _here_ within her arms.

_How long has it been? _Hilda wondered. _How long as it been since I've held this precious being in my arms?_

Beelzebub greeted her, "Dabuu!"

She smiled. _It doesn't matter. He's with me now …_

* * *

><p>Hilda had kicked out Furuichi and Lamia to their best man and maid-of-honor duties. She wanted time alone with her master. Unfortunately, Tatsumi was adamant on staying, thus pissing her off.<p>

"Alaindelon didn't say much, 'cept that since I picked Beelzebub for the ring bearer or whatever, he's gonna stay with us for the time being. I tried shovin' him away, 'cause I sure as hell don't wanna take care of no damn baby," Tatsumi explained further, glowering the baby comfortable in her arms. "But the lil' fucker didn't wanna leave my arms, and the old guy ran off."

"Do _not _refer to my master as that horrid word, shit-face," Hilda spat. She switched moods, smiling lovingly towards Beelzebub. "Right, Master?"

Said master giggled. "Da! Dabuu!"

"I have no idea on what he just said."

"Oga, you're an idiot, remember?"

"The divorce will be the honeymoon, 'kay, bitch? And anyways, we can't let him stay here. I've got you to deal with already. I don't need another freeloader."

"_Me_, a freeloader? Says the boy who doesn't buy groceries and leaves his filthy clothing everywhere." She rolled her eyes at his absurdity.

"It's still my own damn apartment — remember that," he shot back, crossing his arms over his chest.

All of a sudden, Baby Beelzebub began inching towards Tatsumi. His arms were shot out, fingers reaching out for him. He attempted to get out of Hilda's arms.

"Master," Hilda said, confused. "What is it?"

Tatsumi groaned loudly. "He wants to go to me," he informed bitterly. He held out his arms. "Just give him to me. He'll cry like a maniac. Trust me, he did that earlier when I tried stuffing him — never mind." He pretended to look innocent.

She narrowed her eyes at him but handed the baby to him nonetheless. She knew exactly what he was talking about. Master's cries were deafening, and it could very well be heard throughout the neighborhood. It also had the potential to destroy your eardrums, but that could be a hyperbole.

Hilda observed the two. Tatsumi looked entirely uncomfortable, but Master was the opposite. He immediately nestled into his built arms, content. He was … happy.

"What did you do?" she demanded, wary. "Why is he acting like that?"

"Hell if I know! That's what I wanted to ask you! The dude is obsessed with me, I swear."

"He's not obsessed; he's — " She didn't dare finish her statement. "Stop whatever you're doing. You probably hypnotized him with your stupidity. Give him to me."

"The dude doesn't want to fuck _off_," Tatsumi grunted. "Look!" He tried prying the baby's hands off of his arm, but he began whimpering and tightened his hold on him.

"Master, what are you _seeing _in him?" A rush of déjà vu fluttered in her, but she overlooked it. "He's a sewer rat; you'll get contaminated, Master. Come here."

Beelzebub shook his head and snuggled comfortably into Tatsumi. He raised his head up, directing his sparkly eyes filled with admiration up at him.

Tatsumi raised his eyebrows. Then, gradually, he slid his smug eyes towards the blonde bombshell. "It seems as if … he likes _me _more than _you_," he said tauntingly. He was restraining a bark of laughter.

Hilda scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Oh please, don't be so sure about such an _absurd _assumption." She knew way more about her master than the Lord Beelzebub III _himself_.

"He doesn't wanna go to you, though. Doesn't that say something?"

"Perhaps you ate a snack to Master's liking, and he smells it lingering in your putrid breath." Her stoic demeanor quickly morphed into gentle, cajoling eyes. "Now, Master, the bastard holding you is a monster. He'll suck the intelligence out of you."

"Hey!" Tatsumi barked.

"It's true," she snapped. "The minute I stepped into our apartment, I started feeling like a baboon."

"That's 'cause you _are _one."

Hilda made a motion to strangle the fool before her, but Tatsumi brought the green-haired (naked as hell) baby in front of him, using him as a human shield.

"I've got a baby, and I'm not afraid to use him," he said gravely. "He's naked. I'll make him piss on you."

"He's done that before."

"Yuck."

"Shut up, you infantile waste of space. Hand me Master." She stepped forward, holding out her hands.

"'Kay, first off, stop calling him 'Master.' I know you baby-sat him — "

"_Served _him," she interrupted.

"Wench, does that even _matter _right now? I know you baby-sat or _served _— " he rolled his eyes at that " — him, but it's creepy hearing you call him that. You don't serve him anymore. Second off — "

"I will remain loyal to my master till the end of time," Hilda said automatically. It was true, though. She would serve and protect Beelzebub no matter what, even at the cost of her life. Just because she wasn't serving his family anymore didn't mean that she would stop protecting him.

"Uh, good for you. Now could you stop interruptin' me? Second off, I told you that the dude won't get _off _of me, all right? You need pliers or something."

Hilda had no choice but to start blaming Tatsumi. It was always his fault anyways. "You always cause problems. What's _wrong _with you?"

"Pointing fingers now, huh? Like _you're _any better, Hilda." He sneered at her.

"Oh, don't go putting this on _me_."

Tatsumi advanced towards her. "Every day you say something that'll make me want to fuck this wedding. And honestly? I'm getting close to it." His proximity was dangerously close. His neck was craned down to regard her.

"I have no part in you being a sewer rat."

"And I have no part in you being a demonic bitch."

Her fists trembled hazardously. "I slaughter you up into pieces, asshole."

"You're all talk, _honey_."

A screeching wail snapped at Hilda's eardrums. She cringed at the sound, goose bumps crawling up her skin. It was like a fork scratching a plate. She covered her ears, the screech worsening.

This was her master's infamous, uncontrollable crying.

"Shut him up!" Tatsumi yelled over the noise, holding the crying baby out to her.

"You aggravated him, that's why! Come here, Master — get away from the goblin." She gathered him in his arms, but he didn't stop crying. "Get him some milk! I bought milk boxes, the ones with the straws, yesterday."

"But — But we only got one left!"

"You selfish little prick, get me some milk, dammit!"

"UGH!" Like a sixteen-year-old teenage girl, Tatsumi stomped over to the kitchen, mumbling complaints underneath his breath.

_Master isn't the only baby in this house_, she thought.

As soon as Tatsumi gave her the milk box, looking terribly infantile, she might add, she handed it to Baby Beelzebub, who happily took it and quieted down.

"I was gonna drink that," Tatsumi complained.

"Fuck off."

"Bitch."

"Oga, I will shove tampons down your throat and up your ass. I am not kidding."

" … Ew."

* * *

><p>Hilda bounced up and down in the middle of the bedroom. Her master was already deep asleep, but she just wanted to have him in her arms for a few more minutes. She needed to make up for lost time, and she needed to embrace her little time with as much as possible.<p>

Tatsumi announced his presence by yawning loudly. He received a glare from Hilda and closed the door behind him quietly. He sat down on his bed and watched her.

His stares were already unnerving her — remember: he looked at her as if he could see right through her — and so she whispered a sharp _"Stop it."_

He raised an eyebrow. "What am I doing?" he inquired in a normal tone.

"Shut it!" she snapped. Master whined a little in his sleep and moved his face around. Hilda cursed mentally and bounced even more. "Stop staring at me," she explained in a softer though still serious tone.

"I'm not staring; I'm _observing_."

"In my view, it's staring. Stop it."

"Why?"

Something about this situation made Hilda feel … weak. She didn't like it when she wasn't in control of what was occurring. It made her feel safe. But the way he questioned her and the way his eyes were staring so intensely at her made her want to use Baby Beel as a shield, like what Tatsumi had done previously.

"You're … good with him," he commented conversationally. "Like a mother or something."

_How can he do that? _Hilda thought, bewildered. _How can he say something so nonchalantly yet what he says manages to sneak inside me and affect me so greatly?_

Hilda cleared her throat. It was starting to get dry. Was the air getting warm? "I was trained to do so."

He continued on, "Lamia was right, then."

She stopped bouncing Beel to sleep. She walked over to her bed and gently placed him down, his precious head nestled on her pillow. She pulled the blanket over his exposed form and put another pillow on the edge so he would be warm, comfortable, and wouldn't fall.

"Right about what — me being trained to do so?" Hilda questioned, refusing to meet his eyes. She carefully joined Beelzebub under the covers. Her left arm supported her body as she brushed the hair out of his eyes, her eyes and touch tender.

"No, about you being a great mother." He sounded as if he wasn't finished with his sentence.

And with that, her eyes flashed towards Tatsumi instantaneously. He wasn't staring at her anymore, though. His eyes were now focused on the adorable baby slumbering next to her. He had an unreadable emotion planted on.

Tatsumi looked away and reached for the lamplight, shutting it off, and got into his covers, mumbling out a brief, "'Night."

Her throat got even drier.

* * *

><p><strong>— <strong>I hope you think it's not getting off-track. I just wanted to introduce Beel into the story.

_Finally!_

After this chapter, I will start focusing more on preparations for the wedding. It might be the wedding rehearsal. But another conflict has made its appearance_! _Tatsumi doesn't seem particularly happy that Beelzebub is here …

Eh, but with Hilda here, he ain't gon' get what he wants. Haha.

(Sometimes, I think Hilda wears the pants in the relationship — and now that I think about it, she does.)

I am _extremely_, _painfully _busy with school since I'm involved in clubs and I have a crap-load of assignments, projects, and stress. So, updates are … rare, I guess?

But, uh, review_! _& thanks for sticking with my story_!_


	14. Starting to Grow a Pair, Huh?

Surprisingly, ever since Master's arrival, everything had been going … smoothly. Sort of.

Initially, Hilda had thought Tatsumi would make a big deal over Beelzebub's stay. He did but only for a while. She always had the upper hand towards him. The only way he would voice his opinions regarding her master was by grumbling or glaring. It was pathetic, but Hilda would prefer those two actions than anything else that would cause her to break a few bones here and there.

It was strange, though. The wedding was actually going to occur. Invitations were given out, and they were gorgeous and noble-looking. It had fancy calligraphy with gold ink and engraved floral decorations on. The Great Lord was impressed to the point of getting butt cramps. The choice of catering was set — the food will indeed be a mix of Japanese and Macanese delicacies. Alaindelon happened to have a few connections with some wedding planners overseas, which was why many opportunities were handed to them. Tatsumi's family may be willing to pay for almost anything, but with everything Hilda had been seeing, she knew it wasn't possible for them to have a budget that grand.

The wedding was near.

Hilda was short of bridesmaids, but she didn't see the problem in that. One groom was going to be missing a partner down the aisle, nothing humiliating. Nobody seemed to point that trivial matter out towards her or Tatsumi (not like the bastard would do shit about it), so she didn't mention it.

Furuichi and Lamia's speeches were finished, revised and proofread by Hilda and Alaindelon. Of course, Lamia's speech was well thought out and rather emotional, but Furuichi's was incredibly anti-grammatical, if you knew what she meant, and consisted of curse words directed at Tatsumi. Now, Hilda wouldn't normally mind them since she agreed with a majority of the insults written, but a wedding was supposed to be positive and happy. She changed everything in his speech. Hopefully, it wasn't too out-of-character.

(She might've made Furuichi sound gay, but literally everyone thought he and Tatsumi was, so what the hell, huh? Blame her soap operas.)

* * *

><p>"Word on the street is you're getting hitched to Oga," Himekawa announced instead of greeting her like a polite human being should. "Everybody's freaking on and on about it, 'specially since they didn't think Oga had a 'straight gene' in his DNA. I wouldn't blame them."<p>

Hilda narrowed her eyes at him. This fool was asking for another blow to the balls.

"I'm not stupid like everyone else, _Hilda-chan_. I know the two of you are just putting up this charade for mon — "

Before Hilda could actually open her mouth, Kanzaki turned towards the pompadour-donning guy with an incredulous expression on. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Himekawa regarded him. "What?"

"The two aren't known as the golden couple for nothin', Himekawa. Maybe the first time you saw 'em, they weren't acknowledging their feelings for each other yet. Shit, if you see 'em _now_, the two are hell over heels mad for each other. Look!" The lip-pierced fool pointed to her. "She's got the 'I'm-so-fuckin'-in-love-with-that-asshole-Oga' look smothered over that demonic face! No offense, Hilda."

"Taken," she snapped. But internally, she was relieved. Kanzaki basically did her job for her.

Himekawa began studying her alleged demonic face. A look of pure realization shone upon him.

"You better stop staring so lecherously at me, or else I will grab your prescriptive glasses and shove them so far up your ass it will go all the way up to your brain — or lack thereof — and affect it greatly to the point of mental dysfunction," Hilda threatened automatically, exposed eye shining with the thirst for blood. "Hmmmm … too late about the mental dysfunction, though."

He didn't seem to hear her flawless threats/insults. "Damn, you're right. She's got that look right there. It's all in her uncovered eye. It's just fuckin' _boom _right there, y'know?" The affluent fool nodded to himself, amazed by his sudden discovery. "Congrats, Hilda — you've tamed the dumbass, sort of. How'd you get him out of his homosexuality? Did Furuichi take it well?"

"I believe Oga still has some gayness hidden within. Perhaps once he had semi-exited the closet, a small portion of it stayed in the closet. As for Furuichi … who gives a fuck about that creep?" Hilda shrugged. She slid her attention over to the baby sitting in the shopping cart. "Right, Master?"

"Dabuu! Dabuu!" Beelzebub exclaimed in agreement.

"Well said, well said," Himekawa commented, as if she had preached a great philosophy about how rich he was.

"Wait a minute, I've seen that little baby before," Kanzaki declared out of nowhere. He squinted his eyes at Baby Beel. "Yeah, yeah … I saw 'im with Oga a couple of days ago."

_Oga, you idiot_, she thought, seething. "Ah, yes, he is acquainted with Baby Beel quite well," she informed.

"Now that I look at him closely, he kinda looks like — "

"Whoa, I didn't think Oga had the balls — like, _literally _I didn't think he had balls at all — to go and bang a chick — "

" — fuckin' kid has green hair, but it must be reduced or recessive or whatever fuckin' science, social studies stuff that was in high school. The shape of his face looks — "

" — not like _I _can't bang a chick myself. I have money to allow me to do such a thing. Bitches come at me like flies coming at garbage cans. Oh fuck, that doesn't sound — "

Hilda couldn't take their insane ramblings. She didn't even know who they were talking to. She cleared her throat, immediately ceasing their words.

"Our wedding rehearsal is this Saturday. I expect to see your arrivals even though your faces are the banes of my existence and fools aren't exactly my cup of tea. Come to show support for your asshole of a friend Tatsumi, all right? Make sure you bring gifts and money — preferably monetary gifts. That'll light up my day. Or not really. You idiots can never light up my day," she finished. "Goodbye."

She turned her shopping cart around and headed to the detergent aisle. She heard there was a sale on freshening soap …

"Hey, Kanzaki."

"What?"

"Since when did you get all … mushy-mushy?"

" … Blame Paa-ko."

"I won't."

* * *

><p>Hilda stood in front of Tatsumi, hands on hips.<p>

"How many times have I told you to keep a low profile?" she said irritably, glowering at him. "I just so happened to come across your fellow fools at the grocery. I managed to avoid the truth coming out about our ulterior motives, but unfortunately, one of them remembered seeing _you _with Master."

"Uh, yeah, great, cool. Can ya get outta my way? I'm trying to defeat this fucker. He's one of the major bosses, and every time I battle him — aw, shit! I didn't see that fireball." Tatsumi groaned once he saw the GAME OVER marquee on the screen. He glared up at her. "Look what you did! You were blocking my view! There's no checkpoint in this stage!"

She refrained from grabbing the controller out of his grasp and obliterating it, but that wouldn't do any good. The fool would go buy another one, wasting their money in the process.

"Did you not _hear _me, you idiot? Now there are suspicions going around about Master being our _child_!"

"Quit worryin'! When Kanzaki saw me with Beelzebub, I just said that I was babysitting him. You could've said the same damn thing!"

"I interrupted their ramblings by inviting them to the wedding rehearsal, _which _was something you were in charge of. I told you that you would deal with your guests, and I would deal with mine. That way, we wouldn't have to go through any troubles." She massaged her temples. It was only the wedding rehearsal, and the stress was mind-killing.

"Jeez, what're you so worked up about?" Tatsumi asked, turning off his game console. He dumped the controller on the couch and leaned against it, arms draped on the cushions.

"Having one lie is enough, Oga Tatsumi," she muttered seriously. "I don't want to force Master into this."

"Well, you won't have to. It's true, right? We _are _babysitting — or at least, _I _am. You're 'serving' him." He rolled his eyes.

"Just do your part of the job." She departed the room.

Frankly, Hilda didn't realize planning a wedding and lying about it was stress-consuming. She thought it was something that happened already. All this planning and organizing was overwhelming her. In fact, it made her irritable and snappish on a daily basis. She wouldn't ever vent out her emotions on Baby Beel, but Tatsumi was a safe bet. He caused a majority of her stress anyways, what with him not doing shit.

Thankfully, however, everything was already falling into place. The wedding rehearsal was already set for this Saturday. Most of the guests had been informed about it (she didn't know about Tatsumi's guests, though). She had an outfit to wear, and Misaki rented a suit for Tatsumi since the jackass didn't own one.

She knew she was being ridiculously temperamental towards Tatsumi, but could you blame her? He was the one of the only people that knew the truth of it all and understood the motives hidden behind their wedding. Lamia knew, Furuichi knew, and Alaindelon knew — but not _really_. Tatsumi fully understood what they were going to do and the price they were going to pay (which she hoped wouldn't be a whole lot considering their empty pockets). He was the fool she could vent out her emotions properly, consciously and unconsciously. If she didn't, she would go insane.

An insane Hilda was on the same wavelength as a pissed off Hilda.

Actually, they were the same thing.

As soon as Hilda entered the bathroom to void, she was surprised to see Lamia and Furuichi in there. Lamia was in the bathtub with her knees up against her chest. She was busy scribbling on the notepad resting on her knees. Furuichi was perched on the toilet seat, eyes occupied with reading the paper before him.

"Why are you two in here?" Hilda inquired, unsure how to handle this situation.

"Strangely, the bathroom makes me think more," Lamia explained. Her green eyes didn't stray away from the notepad. "Maybe it's the acoustics, I dunno."

"There's something … calming about the bathroom, y'know?" Furuichi mumbled. He snapped his head up once he realized it was Hilda who entered. "I AM NOT A LOLICON OR A PEDOPHILE!"

Hilda grabbed a random toothbrush and threw it into his eye. "You didn't have to _yell_, Creepichi." _Pause. _"And don't deny your true nature."

Furuichi groaned, rubbing his injured eye. (He was coping well with pain, unfortunately.) "Even _you_?! I bet Oga has something to do with this! Even he was freaked out about me and Lamia studying in here! There's nothing wrong! I've done nothing wrong! I don't even _want_ to touch her! She's just a kid!"

Lamia flushed brightly at that. "I am _not_!"

"Uh, everybody can kinda tell … "

"Screw them! Screw _you_!"

"Now, now, Lamia, it's not nice to say such words."

"Ughhh! You're so freakin' _annoying_! I can't believe I survived all these days with you!"

"You're gonna have to do better than that. I've received worse."

She scoffed. "Not surprised."

"Hey!"

Hilda sighed, losing the feeling to void, and exited the bathroom. She couldn't handle the sexual tension between the two. Why couldn't they just battle it out? She would bet her money on Lamia since Furuichi's creepiness, ugliness, and stupidity would be arduous for him. It would be an easily predictable fight, in her opinion.

She decided to head on over to her shared bedroom with Tatsumi to check up on Beelzebub. She would need to burp him after drinking all that milk. It wasn't healthy for him to be filled up with gas.

She passed Tatsumi who was, once again, playing his idiotic games. His teeth were gnashed together, eyebrows furrowed down in concentration. He was smashing the buttons of his controller.

Sighing, Hilda continued on to the room.

_I can't believe I've survived all these weeks and months with that idiot_, she thought.

Yes, she was starting to have doubts. On the wedding. On their plan to pay off their debts.

On Tatsumi.

* * *

><p>"Start to get their attention."<p>

"I don't — " _BURP _" — wanna. You do it; you're not doing anything."

"I've been taking care of Master ever since we got here."

"I've been starving myself to death."

"You don't need to starve yourself to death with _me _around, you know that?"

"Thanks but no thanks."

"I will _choke you_."

"Thanks but no thanks."

As if it was a natural reflex, Hilda swung her free arm around his neck and brought him closer, squeezing it tightly almost to the point of asphyxiation. The guests surrounding them didn't seem to notice the sudden violent action. Most of them thought she was showing affection.

"Can't … _breathe_, bitch!" Tatsumi gasped out, a piece of chicken falling out of his mouth.

She placed her lips near his ear. To others, it seemed as if she was speaking sweet nothings into his ear. "Get their fuckin' attention, _honeybear_."

"You do it — gah!"

She tightened her hold. "I am not kidding, asshole. Starting to grow a pair, huh? You've got bad timing. Do it!"

"F-F-Fine!" He gasped for breath, patting her arm frantically. "I'll … do it … dammit!"

Reluctantly, Hilda released her death grip on him. The fool gasped a mouthful of air and clutched his throat. He glared harshly at his fiancée before standing up roughly. The chair he was sitting on fell down on the floor.

"Dabuu, dabuu! Daa!" Beelzebub shouted out with glee. He looked incredibly dashing in his blue and white tuxedo.

Hilda completely overlooked the rehearsal dinner. The wedding rehearsal was already set for tomorrow, Saturday, but she didn't make any plans for the rehearsal dinner. Yes, the rehearsal dinner was after the wedding rehearsal, but she couldn't include any more time for it. Luckily, Lamia managed to pull some strings and booked the ballroom at the hotel for them.

She didn't care that she wasn't going in order of what was traditional since they were somewhat following the Western traditions. As long as the wedding occurred and all the planned events went about as they should, she was content.

Tatsumi grabbed Hilda's glass of water and smashed it into pieces on the table. Hilda had to cover her master just so he wouldn't get sliced by the glass. She quickly punched his stomach. He doubled over and took it like a man.

The destruction caught everybody's attention. The chatters ceased, and all pairs of eyes were focused on the fool she was getting married to.

He looked taken aback by it. "Um, 'sup," he greeted awkwardly. "Hilda wanted me to get your attention, so the floor is hers."

_Stupid boy! _"I told you to get their attention and talk to them!" she whispered harshly.

"You just told me to get their attention!"

"Yeah, but the other demand was _implied_, imbecile!"

"Now what am I supposed to do?!"

"Fuckin' _talk to them_!"

The duo was quiet for a moment before they slowly directed their attention towards their audience. Everybody was staring at them blankly. Obviously they heard their allegedly secret argument. There was a table filled with girls; they were all staring at Hilda with icy glares. Kunieda was with them. Figures.

Hilda immediately stood up. An air of superiority surrounded her. Just seeing Kunieda's expression was amusing. "Thank you all for attending our wedding rehearsal," she said politely in a clear, loud tone. She grabbed Tatsumi's left arm and hugged it to her side. Beelzebub was happily content being held in her other arm.

She watched many movies that were all wedding-related and decided to replicate them. "Tatsumi and I are blessed to know that we have such loving friends and families, and we are happy to know that you are going to be a part of our upcoming holy matrimony."

"Yeah! Get some, Oga!" came a comment from Kanzaki.

"But don't forget Furuichi!" came a comment from Toujou.

The ballroom was erupted with hoots and loud laughter.

Somewhere nearby, Furuichi began weeping in the corner with Lamia ignoring him, laughing.

"I am not gay, people!" Tatsumi yelled angrily. "I'm getting married to Hilda, dammit!"

"Anyways," Hilda continued, "I hope you enjoy your time here, as well as the food. Hurry before my darling Tatsumi finishes it all what with his large food intake." She giggled with the audience.

"Yeah, 'cause the food's way too good for Hilda," he shot back.

The audience _oooooh_'ed at that.

"He ain't gettin' some now, folks!"

Tatsumi chuckled, a sly grin on his face. "At least I got _something_, Kanzaki."

Yet again, another _oooooooh_.

Hilda was getting uncomfortable with how things were going. She absolutely loathed it when things didn't go her way. Tatsumi was ruining everything. She merely wanted to say her thanks and sit back down until they. That was it. Maybe they would mingle a little bit, too.

But she couldn't stop the words from escaping out of her mouth: "Well, I certainly don't need to worry about having a peanut-sized brain now, do I?"

He accepted the challenge with ease. "Your bitchiness is attractive, sweetheart."

"And your face isn't."

"Nice comeback."

"It's better than that one."

"I don't have to worry about saggy boobs when I grow old."

"I don't have to worry about a shriveled up dick when I grow old. Oh wait, _too late_."

"Obsessed with it, huh?"

"I can't be obsessed with something that doesn't exist, Tatsumi."

"You know perfectly well it exists."

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, _whoa_. That last statement of his surely wasn't an insult her way. That was not anything she expected. Did he actually shoot back an _innuendo_? Was he … was he beginning to _flirt _with her?

It was much too late. She began to feel warm in her black dress. She was noticing how handsome he looked in his tuxedo. Crap.

"Whoo!" Misaki broke her fantasies. (Wait, fanta_sies_? FANTA_SIES_?) She was fanning herself with her hand. "The sexual tension between you two is driving all of us nuts! I can't take it! Give us something! KISS!" She began tapping her cup with a fork hard.

Soon, everybody joined in. The clinking of the cups took up the noise. "KISS, KISS!" was circulating the air. There were dog-whistles and cat-calls.

"Fuck," Tatsumi muttered.

"I am not kissing you," she snapped, cheeks slightly warm. Ugh, she was still feeling the effects of his innuendo. What the hell was wrong with her?

An unidentifiable emotion fluttered over his face. He was staring right through her yet again. The feelings she had felt towards his unexpected sentence now combined with the tingles arising in her stomach. She was feeling woozy now. Holding Beelzebub helped maintain her balance, surprisingly.

Hilda broke the contact. She was getting overwhelmed by the exclamations from the guests. She held up her master in front of her and kissed him on the cheek.

"BOO! That's not what we — !" a couple of people began shouting out.

All was silent. Widened eyes. Shocked expressions. Confusion. Fuckery.

_Why'd they stop?_

Tatsumi was confused as well. He leaned around Hilda to see if there was anything wrong with the baby, but he didn't seem to spot anything. He gave her a questioning glance, but she shrugged. What was going on?

Then, it came to her.

She was holding Beelzebub with her left arm while they ate. He wasn't tall enough to be seen behind the table since it was rather high. Before the rehearsal started, Hilda, Tatsumi, Lamia, Furuichi, and Alaindelon arrived early. She held Baby Beel the entire time. Once the guests started filing in, she remained at her table, because she didn't want to deal with any of them.

Hilda could practically feel the suspicion eradiating off everybody.

From the corner of her eye, near her and Tatsumi's personal table, she saw his parents staring at them with a stunned expression. Uneasiness formed in her being. She didn't know what to say or do.

"Yeah," Tatsumi announced out of nowhere. He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. With his other hand, he stroked Baby Beel's chubby hand.

"Oga, what are you doing?" Hilda murmured, staring widely at him.

"This little freak is our son."

"I FUCKIN' KNEW IT."

"NO ONE CARES, KANZAKI."

* * *

><p><strong>— <strong>I believe that this chapter is completely effed up, but I'm givin' what I got for you guys, m'kay_?_

Originally, I was going to do the wedding rehearsal, but I got mixed up and this happened. So, tentatively, the next chapter will be the wedding rehearsal. Anticipate hilarity and a lot of tension between Hilda and Tatsumi (ze good kind, I promise). Ish 'bout time our ship has got some development, hm?

Yesh, yesh, peeps. I shall delve into their relationship now. Know what that means? More romance, more sexy fluff, and more shipping feels.

YOU GUYS DESERVE IT. AFTER ALL THE LATE UPDATES I'VE DONE. D:

So. Yeah.

Review_!_

(I gots a tumblr, guize! I wanna communicate with you all. The link's on muh profile. Follow me, 'kay? If you have one. Or send me messages & such.

Peace.)


	15. The Pseudo-Son and Pseudo-Father

"Look at him — he's so _adorable_!"

"He mostly looks like Tatsumi, but his cuteness comes from Hilda's genes."

"Wow, it does look like you're getting some, Oga."

"Props, bro, props."

"I can't believe Tatsumi has been hiding this little guy from us! I will kick his ass later."

"Awww, he _likes_ me!"

"OGA TATSUMI, GET YOUR EFFIN' ASS HERE."

While everybody was gushing over Beelzebub, Hilda and Tatsumi stood in the corner of the room, dumbfounded. They both watched their alleged "son" be babied and cooed over. He was passed on and on to almost everyone in the room. Tatsumi's family hogged him the most.

At Kunieda's outburst, Hilda snickered. "You better get over there. Your girlfriend's pissed," she said, smirking. He was in for it now.

"She's not my girlfriend," Tatsumi muttered.

Kunieda marched right up to the newly discovered mommy and daddy of the adorable green-haired creature. Her cheeks were splotched with angry red. Her delicate eyebrows were furrowed down deeply, slight wrinkles showing.

"Since when was _that_?!" she spluttered out, lashing her arm outwards to the baby being coddled. "Since when in the hell was _that_?!" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Uh, since ever since," he replied. He loosened up his tie. Hilda tried not to notice the tiny portion of his defined clavicle.

"Oh, why am I asking you?!" Kunieda trained her furious orbs to Hilda. "Why do you and Oga have a baby?! When did that occurrence happen?! How could this occurrence have happened?!"

"Kunida, surely you are not daft. When a man — or, in this case, _boy _— and a woman love each other — ," she began explaining.

"Do _not_ give me that crap!"

" — arousing feelings tend to overwhelm one another, leading to wild — "

Kunieda squealed and covered her ears quickly. Her entire face was red to the max. She ran away.

" — discussions about their preferred Italian dishes. Really, that girl has no respect." Despite that, though, Hilda was still smirking. She always had control over Kunieda. It was effortless flustering her.

"So, am I freakin' smart or what?" Tatsumi asked, grinning triumphantly. He tugged on the hem of his blazer, trying to look spiffy. "That was some quick thinking on my part, _right_?"

Hilda rolled her eyes. She could've done way better. "Keep dreaming, Oga. Anyone could've thought such an obvious lie."

His eyes challenged her. "Oh yeah? If that was such an obvious lie and _anyone _could've done it, why didn't _you _say it yourself? You look just as speechless as the rest of those suckers after I announced it." He smirked at her.

His smirk meant absolutely nothing to her. It didn't provoke any lustful feelings in her being. She didn't have a fleeting thought of jumping and ravaging him. That was simply preposterous. She did not start seeing him in a handsome light. He was eighteen years of garbage, nothing else.

Unable to think of a clever retort because of her strange thoughts, she tore her eyes away and found in interest at the walls of the ballroom.

What in the world was happening to her?

* * *

><p>The ride to the venue where the rehearsal would take place was silent until:<p>

"Not only do we have to act as _lovers _we now have to act as _parents_. Good job, Oga."

"Oh ho-ho, I was wondering when you would start your bitching."

From the driver's seat, Alaindelon sighed inaudibly.

From the passenger seat, Lamia happily listened to her mp3, blissfully unaware.

From the trunk of the car, Furuichi wept.

In Tatsumi's arms, Beelzebub was asleep soundly.

"Shut up, you brute. You just complicated everything. Start taking responsibility."

"Jeez, for what?"

_Smack! _"You know exactly for what!"

"Ow! _Damn! _Christ, woman, can't you hold back on me a little? For _once_?"

"If you would _listen _to me — "

"Maybe I could … if you would stop smackin' me every single time I say some — "

"That's because every word that comes out of your mouth is ludicrous and stupid!"

"Hey. Honey. I just saved our asses back there. If I said he was adopted, they'd be wondering why we adopted a kid near the wedding. If I said that he was your relative, then — oh, shit. I should've said he was your relative … "

"We could've stuck with the babysitting."

"And who's the parent, then?"

"We'd make it up!"

"See? More lying."

"How are you going to explain the fact that Baby Beel is our son in front of my Great Lord the time of the wedding?"

"That's all you."

"You made up the fucking lie, asshole!"

"Yeah, but you also said that I would deal with my guests while you deal with yours, right?"

"Why do _I _have to take responsibility over your lie, Oga? Humor me."

"'Cause of what I just told you."

_Scoff. _"Incredible response on your part."

"Okay, Hilda, _chill_. Everybody thinks that we are Beel's parents anyways. Hell, even _Kunieda _does, too."

"Now you have to go and mention _her_."

"What? I was just — I was just giving an example! Kunieda's pretty smart, so if she couldn't suspect — "

"And you're _complimenting _— "

"Motherfu — "

"Hilda-san? Oga-san?"

Simultaneously, _"What?!"_

" … We're here now."

Once Hilda noticed the close proximity she had with Tatsumi, she exited the vehicle immediately, face burning with ire and something else.

* * *

><p>Hilda couldn't believe her eyesight.<p>

The man towering in front of her couldn't possibly be a priest. First off, he was smoking. Second off, he looked simply barbaric. Third off, he could pass off for a motorcycle gang leader with all those tattoos and that ghastly red bandana. And lastly, fourth off, she knew him.

"Saotome?" Hilda said, bewildered. "What in the hell are you — ?"

"Whoa, Saotome-sensei!" Tatsumi exclaimed, grinning. His eyes were wide with delight.

And apparently, so did Tatsumi.

The smoking, barbaric, alleged motorcycle gang leader waved once. "Yo, Oga. Yo, Hilda," he greeted briefly.

_What is this pervert doing here? _Hilda thought, grimacing heavily.

"'Kay, let's make this short and sweet, ya pieces of shit. I'm your priest. I'm the one doin' all that vowing and holy matrimony-ing and you-may-now-kiss-the-bride-ing shit, cool?"

Hilda shook her head instantly. "No. Since when were you licensed for this?" she demanded.

"Since I heard that one of my former's students was getting hitched and I forged my licensure for," he answered bluntly.

Ugh, she didn't have time to be pestering about Saotome's daily lifestyle. "Whatever the case may be, attempt to act like a legitimate priest at least."

"Wait, wait. We are _so_ not over the elephant in the room. I can't believe you're a priest, sensei," Furuichi said, shocked. "You don't exactly … fit the description."

Lamia narrowed her eyes at the towering man. "And how do you know Hilda-neesan?" she demanded.

"I groped her once."

Hilda swung her leg up to sucker-kick him under the jaw, but the man moved fast. He casually brought his left hand up and grabbed her ankle. A cigarette ash failed to drop in the process.

Saotome raised an eyebrow. "Nice garments, dollface," he commented, satisfied.

She roughly took back her leg and flipped him off. _This man_, she spat internally.

Furuichi bounded over to his former sensei, eyes glittering with adoration. "Tell me your secrets!" he squealed happily.

Saotome pushed the white-haired annoyance away. His expression meant business. "'Kay, so face each other — _face each other_, dipshit. Face-to-face. That's why they say _'face each other_,_' _'cause you're facing her face." Saotome rolled his eyes.

Hilda was actually glad that Tatsumi was being an idiot. She didn't want to be facing him, because then she would have to look at him. Every time she looked at him, his eyes would be penetrating through hers, leaving her incredibly perturbed and warm. It befuddled her greatly.

Saotome whipped out a little notepad, his cigarette in between his index and middle finger. His eyes scanned whatever was on it.

"To make things move faster, I'll skip all the boring shit, all right? Let's speed up to the vows. Are you gonna repeat after me, or are you gonna have your own vows written?"

"Repeat," Hilda said.

"Whatever," Tatsumi said.

"What do you mean by 'whatever'? If we make our own vows, that'll take even longer. If we just repeat after him, everything will move on quickly." She flashed him a knowing look.

He sighed. "Repeat." His tone sounded off.

Hilda brushed off the concerned feeling. Why would she be concerned about him? That was a waste of time and energy. He was a big boy. He could take care of himself, sort of. She didn't need to use up all her brain cells thinking about him.

"Dabuu! Dabuu!" Baby Beel started crying out. He attempted to escape Lamia's arms, grunting cutely.

Surprise flittered over Saotome's features. "Whose brat is that?" he inquired, jerking his chin towards the fitful baby.

Hilda retrieved Baby Beel from Lamia since he was on the verge of breaking down into tears. She cooed into his ears and held him gently, affectionately. Her gaze was filled with motherly love. No words could describe how loyal she was to her master.

She was immensely captivated by Beelzebub's content, sleepy face, but she managed to hear what Tatsumi had to say.

"He's our son." He made it sound as if it were obvious.

"Looks nothin' like you," his former teacher grunted, unconvinced.

"He's got Hilda's … ears. Are you fuckin' blind?"

"Watch your mouth, kid. I'm still superior to you." The older man stroked his beard contemplatively. "Huh. The brat does have your wife's ears. The kid's got nothin' on you, though. You sure your chick didn't fuck you over?"

Tatsumi yawned. "Whaddaya mean by that?"

"I mean, she didn't cheat on you?"

Hilda scoffed to herself. _Such atrocious statements to be said in consecrated grounds_, she thought.

"Why would you say something like that?"

"What? The kid — "

"Hilda would never cheat on me. I'm marrying her. I would know if she was a selfish, two-timing bitch." _Pause. _"But she _is _a bitch, so … "

Although Tatsumi was practically lying to his former sensei's face so confidently, Hilda had a feeling that he was telling the truth. He truly believed Hilda wouldn't betray him. He wholeheartedly trusted her.

Knowing that, she started to think that maybe she could trust him, as well. Sure he irritated the living hell out of her and pissed her off to no end, but he never once screwed her over. Despite his constant complaints, he followed through what needed to be done with their deal. She had her doubts about him, and they were always ending up untrue.

Hilda let a rare smile appear on her face. She rested her chin upon her master's head and watched Tatsumi interact with Saotome silently.

* * *

><p>Deep wrinkles appeared profoundly on Tatumi's mother's forehead. She rubbed her temples tiredly, staring at the kitchen counter intensely.<p>

After discussing important information with Saotome, Tatsumi had received a phone call from his mother. Seeing the somber expression on his face wasn't a good sign. Usually, when one of his family members called, he'd either have an exasperated or nonchalant expression.

"I just don't understand why you would keep this _extremely _important piece of information from _everybody_, including me," Tatsumi's mother said, shaking her head. She regarded Tatsumi. "I am your mother, Tatsumi. I deserve to know these things. You have a _son_. We should've known this _months ago_. Why in the world would you keep this from us? Hilda-chan?"

The uneasiness came back for another show. She wasn't comfortable seeing that upset expression on her future mother-in-law's face, especially when it was directed at her.

"We didn't want to disappoint," she replied quietly.

"Yeah, it was hard to say. I mean, it's enough to know that we're getting married young," Tatsumi inputted. He was leaning against the counter. He wasn't looking at his mother through the eyes.

_I wonder how he feels right now … _, Hilda thought.

"Tatsumi, Hilda-chan. Hiding the fact that you both have a son already disappoints me. It disappoints all of us. I am happy to know that I am a grandmother at such a young age even though I expected it from Misaki. Your son is a beautiful baby, a lovable one. I can clearly tell you both love him dearly." The smallest of smiles graced her face.

Hilda knew she loved Beelzebub to death, but she wasn't so sure about Tatsumi. They spent quite a lot of time together, but she monopolized him. He blatantly showed how much he disliked him, but there were times where he was incredibly gentle to him.

"There might be other reasons as to why you didn't tell any of us about Baby Beel. And who _knows _how you kept him hidden for so long?" She giggled behind her hand, wrinkles somewhat disappearing. "I completely understand. Next time, don't leave your mother out of the loop, m'kay?"

Hilda nodded. "Of course, Mother," she said respectfully. Internally, she was feeling a mammoth amount of guilt.

"Yeah," Tatsumi said, eyes still locked elsewhere.

"You both may leave now. I can see that you guys are exhausted. Rest up." She placed a warm touch upon Hilda's forearm. The touch was so foreign. Hilda tried not to flinch or seem uncomfortable by it. "Your big day is coming up. I simply cannot _wait _for you to be my daughter. You already are, but it's nice to know that it'll be official soon, right?"

The uneasiness doubled with the guilt.

The engaged couple headed up the stairs to Tatsumi's old bedroom. Hilda was trailing behind Tatsumi, whose face remained unreadable. His eyes were calm though they looked as if they were filled with a plethora of thoughts. His posture was rather tense, as well.

The door was opened quietly. Misaki was holding a slumbering Baby Beel in her arms. She was rocking him back and forth near the window.

"His eyebrows stayed furrowed; I thought he was having nightmares. But he slept the entire time, never once waking up," Misaki whispered, smiling softly. "And since Mom lectured you guys already, I'm good for the night. I'll forever hold it against you, though, Tatsumi."

Tatsumi didn't reply to his sister. He walked up to her and gathered her master into his arms. Immediately, Beelzebub's troubled face morphed into pure contentedness.

Despite what had occurred moments ago, Hilda wanted to smile again.

Misaki left, whispering a quick _goodnight _to the duo.

"Set him on your bed. Make sure the pillows are surrounding him so he won't fall and is comfortable," Hilda instructed lowly.

Her fiancé acquiesced. She watched him gingerly and quietly set the baby on the bed. He grabbed all the pillows on his bed and made a barricade at the edge of the bed. His green-haired covered head was on a pillow, too.

Once he was done, he stared at Beel next to Hilda.

"Is this how it feels like to be a parent, Hilda?" Tatsumi murmured to her.

Hilda tried not to look surprised. Lately, Tatsumi had been so unpredictable. She should try getting acclimated to it. A slow smile spread out her lips.

"I believe so."

He let out a soft chuckle. "It's crazy … I've only known the kid for a short while, and I've got a soft spot for him. He's irritating as hell, always wanting to go wherever I go even when I take a shit — " she grimaced at that " — but … he's got his moments where he's pretty all right."

She didn't necessarily agree with her master being "annoying as hell" — she could never, ever be annoyed at her dear master — but she agreed with how he was so lovable. At just the sight of Beelzebub, a smile would immediately take its place upon her face. It was an unconscious action.

Hilda glanced at her partner-in-lie's face. A soft look was gracing his features. He truly looked like the father of Baby Beel. And it was crazy — how could he suddenly care for this stranger all of a sudden? Did something happen while she was away and he watched him? There must be a special connection between the pseudo-son and pseudo-father.

"I'd never thought I'd say this, but you … are a suitable father for Master," Hilda informed him, a pink warmth flooding her cheeks. "Somewhat," she added quickly.

She didn't hear his answer, but out of nowhere, he was right in front of her. She craned her neck upwards to question his sudden proximity. He lifted his left hand gradually.

"You've got an eyelash next to your eye," he said in a quiet, quiet tone that she almost couldn't catch it.

The second his thumb made contact with her face, a billion zaps of shock and heat traveled throughout her body at the speed of light. The warmth flooding her cheeks broke the dam and increased tenfold. She didn't enjoy the feeling, but … she knew it wasn't anything bad.

His head began leaning down. Her head began leaning upwards. Their lips inched closer and closer and closer. His hot breath fanned her face, inviting her. His eyes, those unreadable eyes, lured her in. Unhurriedly, her orbs disappeared behind the lids.

_Buzz, buzz!_

Tatsumi didn't move once from his position, but Hilda knew they weren't going to continue whatever it was they were going to do. She pulled back and nodded once as a thanks.

He let out a breath and muttered something along the lines of "fuckin' cockblocker," pulling out his phone from his pocket.

She quickly glimpsed at her master who was still sleeping soundly.

_My heart rate won't slow down. Dammit_, she cursed mentally. _What the hell is wrong with me? Does this need to be diagnosed? I have seen these symptoms in soap operas … _

"The fuck?"

She snapped out of her thoughts. "Wh-What?" she questioned shakily. She cursed to herself again. She tried again. "What?"

Tatsumi was scowling at the screen of his phone. "Who the fuck is this?" he grumbled.

She held out her hand. "Let me see." Once he handed it to her, completely ignoring the brush of his fingers, she read it. "What in the world … ?"

_Everything you planned will be completely obliterated in due time. _

_You have been warned._

* * *

><p><strong>— <strong>DUN, DUN, DUUUUN_!_

& the drama starts. Again. Lol.

Okay, so I have no idea what I did with this chapter. Random ideas kept coming at me, and I took advantage of them. It's so unorganized, like seriously.

Things have been hectic lately. School. Life. All that jaaaaazz. I'm going on a trip to Hong Kong, so I've been fundraising _a lot_. I'll be leaving around Spring break, so there won't be any updates around that time …

Did you enjoy? I sincerely hope you did.

Happy New Years, folks. c:

Review_!__  
><em>(Follow me on tumblr. My username is my pen name here.)


	16. Toe-jam

_Saturday night or Sunday night? _Misaki texted her.

Hilda stared at the cellphone screen on the sink counter. She had no idea what Misaki was talking about. She probably missed something, or maybe Tatsumi failed to inform her something important.

Tatsumi appeared on the mirror behind her, toothbrush hanging in his mouth. His eyes were groggy, and his hair was disheveled. His sleeping shirt was wrinkled, and his sweatpants were sagging.

A familiar feeling began arising once again.

_You've got to be kidding me. Even his ghastly morning appearance makes me feel like this? _Hilda thought with incredulity.

"Wha' she shay?" he inquired incoherently. Toothpaste foam accumulated around his lips.

"Did your sister tell you any events regarding tonight or tomorrow night?" Hilda remained staring at the screen with a befuddled expression.

Tatsumi's eyebrows furrowed down. He patted arm with the back of his hand to make her move so he could be in front of the sink. He bent over and spat into the sink. He turned on the faucet and rinsed his mouth and toothbrush. Finishing up, he turned it off and tapped his toothbrush to remove excess water. He wiped his mouth with the towel on the rack.

"No, she doesn't tell me shit, remember?" he replied, rolling his eyes. "All the texts I've been getting are all for you. Most of 'em are from my sister, and that, uh, other one we got a while ago."

Yes, that dreaded text. Ever since Hilda had seen that message warning them of their wedding, she was on the lookout. She informed Lamia and Alaindelon. They were ordered to watch out for any suspicious people or events.

It could be a mere joke. It could be — if Yolda hadn't appeared and threatened to destroy her wedding. If the two idiots hadn't worked for her in the way beginning.

_Wait, that's it._

"Do you have suspicions as to who might've sent that text?" Hilda wondered aloud to Tatsumi.

He scratched his cheek thoughtfully. "Uhhhh … got lots in my mind. Many of their faces are a blur, though. One thing I know _for sure _is that they're ugly as hell," he said. "They're all assholes I beat up back then."

"Anyone specific?"

Tatsumi shook his head. "What about you?"

She sighed. "All that comes to mind are the two idiots and Yolda." _Now that I think about it, it would most likely be Yolda; however, this isn't like her to be so anonymous and enigmatic. _

Tatsumi took off his sleeping shirt without word. His defined abs, pecs, biceps, triceps, and deltoids were exposed for Hilda's unprepared sight to see. He turned around and stretched his arms up in the air, pronouncing his back muscles. The bathroom's fluorescent lights shone straight onto them, and it highlighted his many attractive features.

"H-How _dare _you?" she snapped icily.

Tatsumi whipped his head towards her, confused. "Huh?" he asked.

"You can't just strip off your clothing so — so shamelessly! I am a _woman_, Oga. Have some manners, for goodness sakes." She felt her face burning so harshly. She wanted to sink away from her embarrassment.

"I'm just putting on a — "

"_No. _I don't want to hear any of your pathetic excuses." Her traitorous orbs snuck a glance at his washboard abs. Tatsumi ate like a thousand pigs. How the hell could he have such a fine-ass bod?

Tatsumi stared at her blankly. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a clean, crisp shirt. He didn't hesitate to wear it.

That seemed to calm her down. Partially. The image didn't leave her swirling mind.

"Okay, yeah, so about your insane sister?"

"Oh. Well, when Y-Y-Yol — " Hilda stopped. She took a few seconds to compose herself. She was acting like such a girl. "When Yolda visited, she threatened to destroy our wedding."

"What the hell? Why?"

"Isn't it apparent? She hates me. I hate her."

"Our wedding isn't any of her fucking business."

She agreed with him wholeheartedly.

"What, is the maniac jealous or something?" he snickered.

"That's what _I _thought, as well. I believe she is. It's always a competition with her. She denied it when I pointed it out, but I am not one to be swayed by her unconvincing words." _I'm older; therefore, I'm smarter_, she added mentally.

Hilda texted back: _Is there an event I am unaware of?_

She was about to place it back into Tatsumi's pocket, but the phone vibrated a few seconds afterward. She checked it. From her peripheral vision, she saw Beelzebub's arms reaching out for Tatsumi. With no hesitation, he obliged and held Master.

_Stop doing this to me, Oga Tatsumi._

She ripped her focus away from the heartwarming view and read the reply.

_How could you not know?! Tonight's your bachelorette party! I said 'Sunday night,' too, because I wanted you to have options. I became way too excited, though, so IT'S TONIGHT! Make sure you dress nicely. It'll be at my house, 'kay? I invited your bridesmaids and some EXTRA SPECIAL guests. ;)_

"Oga."

"What."

"What's a 'bachelorette party'?"

* * *

><p>Hilda smoothed out her black halter top in front of the mirror. She saw that her bun was loosening up, so she made a motion to fix it.<p>

_Knock, knock_

"Yes?" she called out. Once she was satisfied with her hairdo, she spritzed some of her perfume on the inside of her wrist, rubbed it with the other, and dabbed it on her neck and certain parts of her wardrobe.

"THERE'S A SHITLOAD OF CHICKS IN THE LIVING ROOM!" Tatsumi yelled through the other side of the door. She had an accurate feeling he was pressed up against it.

"Hm, they must be my bridesmaids." _Damn it, is that a hole on my stockings?_

"I DON'T RECOGNIZE ONE OF 'EM. SHE LOOKS LIKE SOME FUCKIN' HIPPIE."

"Ah, that's Angelica." She sat down on the bed and lifted her leg for inspection.

"ELABORATE, WOMAN."

"Alaindelon's daughter." _Oh, just my imagination._

"WH — _WHAT_?! THE OLD MAN HAS A DAUGHTER?! MINDFUCK RIGHT THERE."

Hilda grabbed a hold of the doorknob and pulled it open with great force. As she expected, Tatsumi's body flew inwards and fell flat on the ground with a _bang!_

"Would you quit yelling?" Hilda snapped. "I have guests, you disrespectful swine."

"Kiss my ass, bitch," he mumbled into the ground.

Enraged, she stepped onto his back with her stilettos. She smiled gleefully and bathed in his piercing moans of pain.

Gathered in the room were, in fact, Hilda's fellow bridesmaids: Lamia, Misaki, Kunieda, and Angelica. Misaki looked like she was deeply enthralled in whatever story Angelica was feeding her. Lamia was in between the two, holding Beelzebub around the middle, who was busy staring mesmerizingly at the jewelry wrapped around Angelica's forehead. There were two other girls beside Kunieda.

"Hilda-san!" Angelica greeted, waving once.

Hilda nodded once at her. "How have you been, Angelica? It's been a while," she said conversationally.

"I know! I haven't seen you in _ages_! I can't believe you're getting married, as well."

"Oh really? Same here," Kunieda inputted, casting an incredibly saccharine smile Hilda's way.

"Still in denial, Kunieda? It's okay; you'll get out of that pathetic state soon enough," Hilda shot back, returning the faux smile.

The smile disintegrated almost immediately from the former Red Tail leader.

It seemed Kunieda also brought along two of her henchwomen. She recalled seeing them at the rehearsal dinner sitting with Kunieda. The two must be her main underlings of some sort. One of them had red, wavy hair tied up, glaring daggers her way, and the other had short, black hair, staring at everything with a deadpan expression.

Misaki noticed Hilda staring (more like glaring) Kunieda's companions. "Oh, Kunieda invited her friends. The more the merrier! They also attended the rehearsal dinner, so apparently they're also attending the wedding itself," she said.

"I don't recall inviting them," Hilda said coldly. There were more people to worry about. It was so cumbersome.

The red-haired girl stepped forward, glare hardening tremendously. "Well, we also don't recall Nee-san _willingly _accepting your offer to become your freakin' bridesmaid, either," she sneered.

Kunieda placed a firm grasp upon her shoulder, holding her back. "Calm down, Nene," she said in an authoritative tone. "I accepted it on my terms, remember?"

_What terms? _Hilda scoffed mentally. She almost said it aloud, but she wasn't in the mood to deal with Kunieda's temperamental friend. She could tell _Nene _wouldn't hesitate to quarrel with her in many ways than one.

Not that she was complaining. It had been a while since Hilda got to use her abilities.

Hilda shifted her attention back to her sister-in-law. "I suppose they could attend, as long as they don't cause any distress." She made sure her tone sounded threatening.

Proving it, Nene attempted to attack the bride-to-be, but Kunieda had an iron grip on her shoulder.

Misaki, seemingly unnoticed by the sudden tension, clapped her hands together once. "All right, let's head off to my house, girlies! We wouldn't want to keep our _special guests _waiting!" She winked and then headed straight for the door.

"Wait a minute," Kunieda declared. "Special guests? What do you mean by that? What's going on?"

Hilda was curious, as well.

Angelica gasped dramatically. "How could you not know?! Haven't you girls ever been to a bachelorette party?!" she questioned.

Everyone, besides the obvious, shook their heads.

"This is a disappointment," Misaki commented, shaking her head near the threshold.

"I don't know much about them, but I know that it involves alcohol and male strippers," Nene said, finally calm. "Most of us are underage."

"I sure hope you are _not _referring to _me_!" Lamia exclaimed hotly.

Chiaki, in a very low tone, said, "So cute."

"It's fine, it's fine! Angelica-san and I are your guardians, all right? First off, we'll drop off Baby Beel to my parent's house. Then, we'll make sure you don't get injured, get drunk, and … have the best time of our fuckin' lives!" Misaki's excitement was rolling off over her like crazily. It was beginning to be unnerving.

Hilda sighed to herself. _I'd much rather spend time with Master and Tatsumi_, she thought.

Her eyes widened soon after that.

* * *

><p>All the girls rejoiced once Misaki led them to the shopping department nearby. It was bustling with customers, because there was a sale going on in about five or six stores. The parking lot was packed. Hilda could practically hear the clamors reverberating off the building.<p>

She saw a tiny café near the entrance of the department. Misaki and Angelica complained once she told them to go along. Her sister-in-law even bribed her to come with them, but she refused to be around a plethora of desperate shoppers. She told them to buy her something for her instead.

She sauntered into the café, hearing the bells jingle as she opened the door. The barista wiping the counter looked up and greeted her hospitably. Her eyes searched for a secluded table and found one in the far right corner next to the French window. The place wasn't that bustling as the department stores, which she was thankful for.

She approached the counter, and the barista immediately tended to her. She ordered a calm brewed tea. As soon as she got her order, she walked over to her chosen spot. She took a sip of her tea, and most of her worries went away. Tea was one of her guaranteed stress-relievers. She mixed it more with the teaspoon to enrich the taste.

The bells jingled, and she looked up.

A grimace made its way on her face.

It was Hecadoth, one of the nastiest and pompous bastards she was ever acquainted with, much to her dismay. Her mood dissipated at his presence. She hoped he wouldn't spot her.

Unfortunately, he did. His eyes didn't show that he was surprised to see her there. It almost looked as if he _knew _she would be there.

He approached her with a sinister smile, arrogance evaporating off of him. It was a disgusting sight to see. She knew he was not one to mess with. He was highly recognized for his volatile and sadistic behavior when it came to his victims. It didn't deter her, however. She knew she could battle him quite effortlessly.

It was bizarre, though. Why would he be here? He should be busy doing his military duties in Behemoth's 34 Pillar Division (an affiliation coinciding with The Great Demon Lord's).

"Heard your master is visiting you," he said without greeting.

Suspicion flared within her. _What is his agenda? _

"I was in the neighborhood" — he looked around the area with a hint of repulsion — "and I recalled hearing that Lord Beelzebub IV was temporarily living with you at the moment with your lover … I presume?"

"You presume correctly," Hilda confirmed, ice in her eyes. She never was fond of these people — they always seemed to be doing something hazardous or illegal.

Hecadoth appraised her appearance. "You look like you're heading somewhere extravagant. Are you perhaps going on a date with your lover? Will Lord Beelzebub be there, as well?" He was trying to be subtle about her master. It was getting on her last nerve.

"You seem to be quite inquisitive about my master. Any reason why?" _And stop looking at me with superiority, you pile of haughty shit. The fact that you're a part of Behemoth's pillar doesn't make you into a better individual as I am. Bastard._

"Mere curiosity, Hilda," he replied simply, "just mere curiosity. Oh, and have you heard? There are rumors circulating all around Macao — possibly here in Japan, as well, since we're linked with them — that Lord En will be traveling over here soon."

Hilda's eyes furrowed down deeply. She was taken aback. "What business does he have here? Doesn't The Great Lord it isn't wise to have both of his sons in the same country? Anything remotely life-threatening towards them could occur so easily. It would also be conspicuous to the public eye." She knew her Great Lord was … forgetful, but even he knew the dangers his sons could face.

Unless … he _didn't _know Lord En was rumored to be coming here soon.

"Is that all?" Hilda inquired. Wine sounded tempting right about now. She hoped Misaki would have large stock at her house.

Hecadoth looked like he was about to say more but restrained himself. There was something in his eyes that was bothering her. It was as if they were saying, "I know something you don't know," and it irritated her intensely. If they weren't so exposed to the public, she would've socked him in the balls.

"Yes, that is all," he finally said. "Goodbye, Hilda."

She nodded.

He turned away and began departing, but then he stopped. He moved his head to the side, and then, without glancing at her, he said, "And it was nice meeting your lover."

* * *

><p>"PAAAAAAAARTAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Misaki screamed at the top of her lungs once she opened the door to her house.<p>

Angelica squealed and looked like she was going to spontaneously combust from the amount of excitement emanating off of her. Lamia's mood was on a moderate level, but she looked like she was enjoying herself. Kunieda and her little friends still had grim expressions on, but Hilda could perceptively tell they were curious about what Misaki had planned for her bachelorette party.

Everyone congregated into her living room. Hilda could tell that Misaki was swimming in a pool of riches. Tatsumi was right — her husband was incredibly wealthy, which made Misaki wealthy as well. It wasn't like she was mooching off of him like a gold-digger. Hilda knew that Misaki manned the apartment complex well in an orderly fashion. She didn't slack off on her work, especially when it came to being a big sister.

There was a mini bar with champagne, wine glasses, beer bottles, six-packs of beer, and assortments of chips and dip. Four barstools were positioned underneath the bar table with extremely extravagant cushion material.

Nene pointed out the large variety. "What's with all of that?" she inquired.

"Well, I wasn't sure what everyone's preferences were, so … I bought almost one of everything in the grocery." Misaki laughed loudly. "The _special entertainment _will be arriving shortly. Meanwhile, let's get drunk and eat our asses off, shall we?!"

Hilda helped herself with a few chips and one wine glass. The girls were already going crazy, Angelica and Misaki specifically. The stereo had a surround-sound system, so the music was blaring into her eardrums. Nonetheless, it was fine for her. This atmosphere wasn't her cup of tea, but as long as they were enjoying themselves, she was all right with it. After all, Misaki went after all this trouble for _her_.

The doorbell rang. Misaki looked confused — it was shocking she could hear the doorbell with how deafening the music was — and it was most likely because her "special guests" were early. It was only the middle of the afternoon, anyway. She went along to check out who it was.

"WHAT THE FUCKIN' HELL ARE YOU FUCKS DOING HERE?!" she shouted all of a sudden.

The girls stopped doing whatever the hell they were doing at the sound of that. Hilda placed her wine glass on the bar table and headed over to the door.

It was Tatsumi and his fools. She saw Furuichi, Himekawa, and two other guys Hilda wasn't familiar with. One had orange hair and looked like he was high on drugs, and the other looked like a male version of Chiaki.

"Blame Furuichi," Tatsumi simply replied, hands in his pockets.

"Hey!" Furuichi protested. "I just wanted to have fun. You guys wanted to have fun. It was a boring-ass bachelor party 'cause there were no alcohol and naked hotties!"

"I'm alcohol-free now."

"Since _when_?!"

"Since he had a fun time at — ," Himekawa joined in, smirking.

Tatsumi interrupted, "Fuck off, Himekawa." He glared at him.

"Oh, and you idiots thought you could find alcohol and naked hotties _here_?!"

"Well … there _is _alcohol, and … there _are_ some hotties here. They're not _naked_, but — " Furuichi was cut off by the harsh, threatening glare Misaki was giving him. He _eep_ed and slid behind Tatsumi in fear.

Now Hilda's bachelorette party wasn't a bachelorette party. The boys made themselves at home. The two guys introduced themselves to Hilda. The orange-haired guy shook her hand hard and said his name was "Yamamura". Apparently he admired Tatsumi incredibly and was his disciple. The other guy was Miki. He was around her height, and he was Tatsumi's friend ever since middle school. They got into a misunderstanding that time, but everything was cleared up now. Both were his groomsmen.

Kanzaki couldn't make it, because he had to entertain his demonic niece. Tatsumi's words, not hers.

_Tatsumi's friends are all fools_, Hilda perceived. _I should be more aware of that, but as it turns out, I keep on getting surprised. He attracts fools, that damn fool …_

Hilda saw Tatsumi munching on a bowl of chips. He had the entire bowl to himself apparently. She approached him once she saw that Furuichi was getting too drunk and began mooning everyone.

"Did Master go to your parent's house safely?" she asked.

_Munch, munch, munch. _"Yup," he said.

"Are all his belongings in his bag?"

"Yup."

"His milk? His bottle? Diapers?"

"Yuuuuup." _Munch, mu — BURP!_

_Grimace. _"What about his pacifier? Master cannot survive without — "

He slammed the bowl of chips on the table. "Jesus Christ, woman! Baby Beel is all right. I brought him back and everything. Learn to trust, _damn_."

The doorbell rang.

"Finally!" Misaki said, words slurring slightly. Her arm was around Angelica's shoulder, who was giggling uncontrollably at what Furuichi was telling her. "The extra special awesome people are _here_! I am going to open — " _buuuuurp _" — da door, guuuuuyyyyys!"

Hilda spotted Kunieda holding a beer bottle. Her cheeks were tinted pink, and she had a lazy smile on. Nene was attempting to keep her upright since she was swaying a lot. Chiaki was on the floor, gazing at the ceiling with a blank expression. Two bottles were next to her. Lamia was on the couch sulking, green eyes glaring at Furuichi. The pervert must've said something inappropriate or something.

"HO, HO … ho?" a manly voice announced. "Misaki … ? Were you the one who ordered the Christmas package?"

"And who the fuck ARE YOU?!"

"I'm Santa Claus! I was ordered here to — wait, are you fuckers having a party _without me_?!" Oh. It was Toujou. "That's fuckin' messed up!"

"Toe-jam!" Misaki groaned. "You're not the extra special — special extra — the one! Ughhhh!"

"What the fuck is a 'toe-jam'?!"

Hilda was curious as to why Tatsumi was so silent today. She noticed all he did was eat his bowl of chips and watch everyone go insane. He didn't even insult her or try to bicker with her. He didn't even say anything remotely idiotic for her to criticize.

_Did something happen while I was away? Is Master all right? _Then, she remembered her meeting with Hecadoth. _That's right. I have to discuss with him about Hecadoth. He might've told him about Lord En._

It was way too public here, so she nudged Tatumi. He glanced at her lazily, and she gestured over to the sliding door that led to the patio. He nodded and set down the bowl of chips. She headed over to the sliding door, trying to be inconspicuous with Tatsumi right behind her.

Yes, he was right behind her.

She could feel his hot breath.

"Did you have a run-in with Hecadoth today?" Hilda questioned once the door shut close. She rubbed her arms to gain some warmth. It was quite a chilly afternoon. She should've worn her black turtleneck.

Tatsumi took a seat on the lawn chair. "Uhhhh, the fishy-looking asshole?" he said.

She nodded. His appearance was fishy — in more ways than one.

"Yeah, I did. Fuckin' asshole was acting all mighty and shit towards me. He kept asking about Beel, too. Nosy son of a bitch." He scowled heavily, probably remembering his meeting with him.

This fueled her suspicions even more. _Did Yolda go so far as to ask a member of Behemoth's pillar? She must've gotten more psychotic since I last saw her. Bitch._

It was silent. It was uncomfortable. She detested the awkward silences with Tatsumi, because she had no idea what to do or say. Every time it occurred, he would stay quiet and be consumed in his own thoughts.

She sneaked a glance at him.

Tatsumi was sitting on the lawn chair, hands on the space between his thighs. His head was looking at the direction over the wall, but she wasn't quite sure what he was staring at. The wind tousled his hair a bit, and she had a strong urge to fix it up — or tousle it up more.

A warm, spine-tingling feeling came back for another show. Her fingers began wanting to just touch him. Her breath was getting shallow, and she could feel herself getting warm despite the cool breeze of the afternoon. She couldn't stop looking at him. She couldn't stop _wanting _— needing? — to touch him.

To hell with it all. She didn't care that someone could see. She didn't care that she was so uncertain of everything, but the only thing she was certain of was that she wanted to kiss the daylights out of him.

Hilda walked over to Tatsumi until she was right between his legs. Immediately sensing her close proximity, Tatsumi whipped his head towards her and craned his neck. Confusion fluttered into his usually unpredictable orbs, but even she could see it. She could see the lust. She could see it all. Right then and there, she _knew _that he reciprocated this strange, warm feeling — at least, that was what his gaze was conveying towards her.

_It has to be done_, she thought with determination. _This feeling can only be put away once I fulfill these needs._

Her hands rose up and gripped his broad shoulders. She leaned down and captured his awaiting lips.

Surprisingly and unsurprisingly, he returned the much anticipated action. His mouth moved along with hers, slowly but surely. His large hands clutched her waist.

Hilda reveled at the texture and taste of his lips. She completely forgot how amazing he was at kissing. That time at the kitchen left her breathless — and he was doing it yet again, sucking out all of her oxygen with his lips.

His tongue began prodding at her lips, asking for entrance for hers. She instantly obliged. Her grip on his shoulders tightened. His tongue slid around hers so smoothly and so seductively. Her knees were shaking, and she found herself wanting more, more and more.

Without informing her, Tatsumi pulled her close and situated her on his lap. Her long, slender legs were on either side of his body, hanging off the chair. His fingers began sneaking underneath her black top, and the skin contact almost made her jump. He released her swollen lips and started attacking her neck, sucking a spot here and there.

Hilda gasped out loud. He managed to find an _incredibly _sensitive area on her neck, and he noticed that. He licked the spot and continued on.

She was losing herself. She had never experienced such a sexual experience in her lifetime. She was well-aware of the situation she was getting herself into willingly, but she didn't expect it to feel so remarkable. Her eyes dropped slightly once his lips traveled down to her shoulder.

The sliding door opened. Himekawa popped his head out.

"Yo, Oga."

Against her skin, he answered, "What?"

"Where's the bathroom? Your sister's goin' bat-shit insane with all the alcohol she consumed."

His lips went back to hers again. "Upstairs, far end of the hallway at your left."

"'Kay." He disappeared.

"What … is … she going insane … for?" Hilda panted on his lips.

"Probably 'bout the mix up with the strippers."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Hilda realized that Tatsumi's hands were directly underneath her halter top. His fingers stroked the edges of her bra tantalizingly. They were warm against her skin, and they were causing her mind to go erratic. Then, she began to notice her right hand was sliding up his tight abs and caressing it. Her lips were swollen to the max, and her breathing was heavy and in pants. Tatsumi's was the same, as well.

Slowly, so slowly, their lips retracted. There were pants. There were hot breaths. There were glazed eyes. There was lust. There was need. There was … there was something else, too. There was something in the ambience that was shouting at her to look inside something and realize something. She didn't know what that "something" was, and frankly, it was aggravating her.

And then both pairs of eyes widened.

Kissing him just made it all the more perplexing.

* * *

><p><em>Ding dong.<em>

"Heeeeyyyyyy. Where's the sexy bachelorette?"

_Silence._

Then —

"KANZAAAAAKIIIIIIIII!"

"What?!"

"I ASKED FOR SANTA CLAUS, NOT SCARY, NAKED MEN!"

"Naked? Is that the new Santa Claus?"

"NOOOOOO, YOU IDIOT! THEY'RE ALL DRESSED LIKE FIREFIGHTERS EXCEPT THEY'RE NAAAAKEEEED!"

"How could they be naked if they're dressed like something?!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! I'M TELLING ON YOU!"

"Aw, shit. The people must've gotten the address fucked up."

"So, lil' girlie, where's the sexy bachelorette? It's pretty cold out here, and we wanna get our groove on for the special lady if ya know what I mean." _Wink, wink._

"EWWWWW! KAAAAANZAAAAKIIIIIIII!"

"Fuck my life."

* * *

><p>— whoo<em>!<em>

I'm so freakin' tired. I wrote one scene today, and then I just finished the rest of the chapter so I don't have any more worries. Hopefully, this chapter makes up for the time that I'm gone.

YES. They kissed_! _REJOICE, REJOICE. Finaaalllllyyyyyy!

(it just got even more complicating, hehehehehe.)

This chapter was pretty fun to write. Messy, though.

review_!_


	17. I Will Not Be Flowering for Anybody!

Ever since that fateful day, things were different … so to speak. Tatsumi was openly affectionate to her — or as affectionate as he _could _be. It was more of the subtle type, and it wasn't too much.

Examples include: touching the small of her back to pass through the kitchen, placing his hand on her thigh while they watch TV with Beelzebub, resting his chin upon her shoulder while she communicated with someone face-to-face or via telephone, kissing her pulse point sensually, stroking her skin underneath her shirt, dancing his long fingers on her thighs, opening his mouth to insert his —

Okay, not that subtle. But his more intense actions were usually done in private.

Hilda found herself responding to it naturally. She wasn't uncomfortable with it. She was perplexed by the sudden allowance of intimacy, yes, but that was about it.

She could control herself, though. She spent years learning how self-restraint, because self-restraint was one of the main aspects in being a lady — that was what she lived by. Self-restraint didn't mean quietly accepting one's brutal attacks and endure the pain, albeit verbally or physically. It meant that she knew when she would reiterate. The term _"choosing your battles"_ molded well with the term.

Tatsumi … He was another story.

His hot lips traveled down her jaw, heading towards the spot that made her knees wobble like crazy. Her hands were splayed upon his upper back, arms hooked underneath his underarms. One of his legs was wedged between hers. Their chests were smashed against each other, but they didn't seem to mind.

The ladle she was holding was long forgotten on the floor.

"Dabuu."

Hilda's eyes snapped open, and she reflexively pushed Tatsumi away. His back hit the edge of the counter hard, and he swore for the heavens to hear.

"Master!" she exclaimed, incredibly ashamed to be doing such acts in front of the innocent infant. "Are you hungry? Oga, retrieve his warm bottle." She picked him up, and he nestled into her arms immediately.

Grumbling profanities, Tatsumi shot a glare at his soon-to-be-wife before retrieving the bottle. He opened the microwave and gave the bottle to Baby Beel, who happily accepted it. His eyes closed mid-way before closing completely into sleep.

"Could you stop cockblocking?" Tatsumi snapped in a low tone. His arms were crossed over his chest, scowling at her. "Every time Beel comes in while we're making out, you stop and shove me away like what you did earlier. It's fuckin' annoying!"

Hilda glowered, rocking the sleeping baby. "In case you have forgotten, Master is a _baby_. His eyes are too pure to see what _impure _acts we're committing, fool. It's disrespectful and obscene to continue to do so," she explained. When would he ever stop being so daft?

"Well, you don't have to _shove me away_ like I burned you."

"If you would just stop kissing me once you see or hear that he's within our presence, then I wouldn't have to."

"Oh, shit. My _bad_," he said sarcastically. "It's not my fault I get so occupied with the way your tongue is in my mouth and your hands roaming around my man business!"

She flushed darkly. "I do _not _roam around your private bits!" she argued indignantly. She did recall doing that sometime ago — she, of course, wouldn't admit it.

"Does last night ring a bell? Your hand brushed my zipper, and it wasn't a _soft _brush."

"Like your hands don't sneak a feel on my _breasts_!"

"They're huge! I'm a _man_! With the way you're pressed up against me, my hands get curious! They're like water balloons."

"I do not have water balloon-like breasts, you buffoon."

"Yeah, they're actually filled with _milk_."

Hilda made a motion to attack him, but she was holding her master. He was lucky. He was so, _so _lucky. If she weren't holding him, she would march right up to grab his balls and —

Tatsumi interrupted her dark thoughts, "I'm not saying that I don't like it. It just catches me off-guard. I won't be able to control myself if you continued doing that shit. I want to save it after the wedding."

_What? What did he just say? _"Excuse me?"

"That's how it goes, right? The honeymoon?"

"We are _not _having a honeymoon. Don't you know how much that costs?" Hilda said icily, anger rising. What the hell was he on now? She was beginning to believe that he was doing drugs. "This wedding isn't even _real_. What makes you think that we're going to have a honeymoon?"

He seemed taken aback. "They're gonna call us up afterwards. Did you actually think that they won't bother us after the wedding ceremony? My family's nosy as fuck — you should know that." He paused. "There's nothing wrong with a honeymoon anyways. Misaki probably planned it already."

He was bewildering the hell out of her. Why would he think that they were going to have a honeymoon? The most they had ever done was kiss and touch. That was it. She wasn't going to go any further with him, because _they were not getting married for real_. Didn't he know that?

"But I'm not having sex with you if we were to have said honeymoon," she said gravely. "I don't even feel that way about you."

His eyes flashed with hard anger. "Then what the fuck are we doing now?" he spat.

At that, Beelzebub began fussing in his sleep. Hilda sent him a glare before cooing and bouncing him. Tatsumi cursed under his breath and walked away from her.

* * *

><p>"Oga is pissing the fuck out of me," Hilda announced once she entered Kunieda Aoi's humble abode.<p>

Kunieda scoffed, glaring at her. "And how the hell does that concern me?" she snapped. "Don't enter my household with that behavior."

Hilda made herself comfortable upon the cushions, tucking her stocking-clad feet underneath with feminine ease. She appraised the interior with a look of apathy.

"Oh please, might I remind you? You owe me a great deal, Kunieda."

"Owe you _what_, exactly?" the former Red Tails' leader demanded acridly. "I don't recall owing you anything."

"Then you must be suffering from memory loss. Let me refresh your diminutive amount of memory and intelligence." Hilda paused for effect. "When we first met, I didn't shank you to particles. Doesn't that count for something? Doesn't your life mean anything to you? If it doesn't, I'll gladly end it. But first, I would like some hot, brewing tea. Immediately."

Kunieda was speechless. Her face was red, and her eyes were wide. "I … _can't believe_ _you_! You are the most convoluted, heartless, maniacal, egotistical, hostile _bitch _I have ever met in my entire life! What, were you just _born _like that? With that kind of attitude, _mindset_?! Do you feel a sense of pleasure with every demonic word you say?! Oh wait, don't answer that, because _you DO_!

"I don't know what the _fuckin' hell _Oga sees in you. I don't know why he would even _think _about being tied to you for the rest of his poor damn life. He deserves better than you, skank. He deserves someone who won't make his life so fucking complicating. And by that, I mean by Beelzebub. You thrust that innocent baby into his hands, _forcing _him into accepting your hand.

"What you two have isn't real. I can sense that. I can see that. I _know _that. I don't care if Oga is pissing the entire fuckery out of you. I hope he does. That way, he'll find the strength and intelligence in him to break away from you," she ended with a solemn, firm tone.

Hilda blankly stared at her. "What type of tea do you have stored in here? Oolong? Black?" she inquired, unfazed by the heated outburst.

Without a word, Kunieda backed up against the wall and slid to a slump. She looked like she just gave up on the world.

After Hilda nearly sliced Kunieda's arm off — don't ask how — the blue-haired girl managed to snap back to reality, unfortunately, and actually brewed her some tea. It wasn't Hilda's "cup of tea," but she didn't mind. Tea was tea. She needed a good dose of it to maintain her level of consciousness what with all the stress poking and prodding at her.

"Why _me_? Of all the bridesmaids, why would you choose _me_ to rant about Oga?" Kunieda questioned with sincere curiosity. She blew the tea, the steam obliging.

"Lamia was occupied, occupational- and wedding-wise. I didn't want to burden Misaki. Angelica is currently in Macao with Alaindelon, having their father-daughter-bonding-time." She took a drink. "Which leaves you, much to my dismay."

"I might've been occupied. I am being burdened. I might've wanted to spend some time with my grandpa," Kunieda shot back.

"Then you wouldn't have invited me in now, would you?"

"Correction: you entered my household without consent."

"Why didn't you stop me, then?"

A gleam shone in Kunieda's eyes. "Isn't it obvious? I'm waiting for you to make your move. It's called being polite." She smirked.

"Oh?" Hilda returned the smirk. She set the cup of tea down on the table, hands still wrapped around it. "Is that a challenge, Kunieda Aoi?"

"It's been one — from the first day we met."

"And what is it about? Is this personal, or … does this concern Oga?"

Kunieda gritted her teeth. Her left eye twitched, broadening Hilda's smirk. "It's long past Oga. You pissed me off to the point where I want to beat the bitch out of you. You're lucky I'm holding enough restraint as of now. You're vulnerable here."

"Oh, yes. Oh, of course. This isn't about Oga."

"Yup," the 19-year-old sneered.

"Of course this isn't about the fact that you've apparently been in love with the fool ever since you met him. Of course this isn't because you are too much of a coward you cannot bring yourself to profess your pathetic love for him — "

Kunieda glowered at her. She slammed her hand on the table hard. "What are you on about — ?!" she started yelling, face red yet again.

Hilda continued on, though: "Of course this isn't about how you admire his chiseled body. Of course this isn't about how you have wet dreams of him. Of course this isn't about how he is a great father figure. Of course this isn't about how much of a lovable idiot he can be. Of course this isn't about how amazing he is, albeit subtlety. Of course — " She stopped. She was heading towards dangerous grounds with her words.

Luckily, she got Kunieda right at the "wet dreams." "I _do not_ have wet dreams about Oga!" she screeched, cheeks burning and burning. "That is not true! That is obscene!"

"I'm sure."

_"I DON'T!"_

"You don't need to tell me twice."

"What gave you that assumption?! I — I don't! Not now, not EVER!"

"Okay."

Kunieda relaxed a tiny bit. She slowly sat down, form trembling.

Hilda suddenly wasn't in the mood to deal with Kunieda's unresolved feelings for Oga. She had her own to handle. She didn't need another person's.

"I'm done. Goodbye." She stood up to leave, leaving the cup of tea on the table and a distressed Kunieda. "Make sure you attend the wedding and bring monetary gifts."

Hilda slipped on her boots at the threshold and opened the door. As soon as she was about to close it, Kunieda called out her name.

Facing her, Hilda said with impatience, "What now?"

"I _don't_ … okay?"

"Don't what?" But she knew.

"Have — Have wet dreams about — about Oga …" Kunieda's face wasn't burning so embarrassingly anymore, but a tiny pinkish hue stayed planted upon her cheeks.

Hilda let out a smirk. "I'm sure."

_She does. Obvious bitch._

* * *

><p>Walking down the somewhat bustling streets of Tatsumi's hometown was therapeutic. Not one single passerby bothered her. The atmosphere wasn't suffocating. Noise-level was at the tolerable level. It was just a regular afternoon with people busy doing whatever they had to do currently.<p>

Hilda realized this was much needed for her. Although it wasn't apparent, she felt like she could explode anytime soon. Tatsumi was someone she could vent out all of her emotions — well, not _all _of it — to, but he was also one of the main sources of her troubles.

As she meditated more on that, she recalled all the moments when Lamia would instantaneously detect a small sense of struggle upon Hilda's face or behavior. Hilda didn't have to verbally express how she was feeling; Lamia managed to find out all on her own, which helped Hilda greatly since she didn't have the propensity of expressing how she felt.

Alaindelon knew his way around Hilda. Usually, whenever he was around, he would get quite loquacious. He always had something to say and filled in the one-sided awkward silences. It would be about the weather, his daughter, his admiration for Furuichi, the sale on two-ply toilet tissue at the market, or, most importantly, anything dire to report regarding the Great Lord.

She didn't mind his incessant talking. She tuned him out at times, but it was nice to know that he didn't mind her company or get exasperated by her lack of replies.

Hilda attempted to remember any other person who she considered as a comrade and came to a blank. She considered her master, but she was his servant and that was it.

_Certainly not Oga or Furuichi. Certainly not the chain of fools I had to deal with. And most certainly not Kunieda and her followers_, she thought with conviction.

Tatsumi's family came to mind, but she quickly retreated from that sudden thought.

Veering the corner marketplace, Hilda almost collided with none other than Furuichi. His eyes alighted with extreme happiness. She returned the expression unfavorably.

"Hilda-san!" he exclaimed. "It's nice to see you on this fine, fine day! The day just keeps getting better and better."

She didn't return the same thoughts.

"You see, here?" He held up a plastic bag with CD cases inside them. "There was a sale at the videogame store. Some of them are used, but the cashier claimed it was almost to the point of mint condition. I'll trust his judgment — mainly 'cause it was on sale." He laughed aloud, face up and hands on hips.

"Intriguing," she commented flatly.

His grin looked as if it were cemented on his face especially around her. "What are you doing, Hilda-san? Going on a walk? Are you alone? Want me to accompany you?"

"Actually, I would like you get out of my way and leave me the hell alone." Her fists curled at her sides. This moron never ceased to infuriate her.

Furuichi's expression turned nervous and frightened. "Are you sure?" he pressed on. "You're normally with Tatsumi and Beel. If not, you're with Lamia."

For some reason, hearing that increased her temper. _"Step … out … of … my … way," _she threatened in a low tone. Her exposed eye shot daggers through him.

"Oi, Furuichi!" a very familiar male voice called out.

And just her luck, the highlight of her day made his entrance. She was still angry with him from earlier this morning, and she didn't plan on alleviating that anger.

Tatsumi saw Hilda and frowned. He then slid his attention over to Furuichi who looked like he was about to urinate what with his knees wobbling. His eyes were wide with fear.

"What's goin' on?" Tatsumi asked him. She noticed he turned his back slightly to her, and seeing that replaced some of her anger with something that formed a lump in her throat.

Furuichi's lips quivered along with his wobbly knees. "Hilda-san is so freakin' scary right now," he tried to whisper. Of course she heard every word.

"Are you just figuring that out now, dumbass?" Reluctantly, he turned his form towards her. "What's wrong with you? You look like you're ready to rip off someone's balls."

His voice bothered her so much. She didn't respond to him. She wanted to depart, but her legs weren't responding, either.

"What, did'ya turn deaf between this morning and afternoon?" Tatsumi snapped, openly scowling at her.

"Can you please not talk to me?" Hilda shot back icily. She needed to get away from him. She needed to get away from everything. Something stopped her, though. "Where's Master?"

"With my parents."

"_What? _Stop depending on them so much, Oga. It's bad enough they're doing most of the preparations for our fake wedding. You never _think_."

At that, Tatsumi faced her full-on. "Hey, they wanted to see him, because apparently they're his 'grandparents.' I didn't fuckin' shove him to them. Besides, I was going to get him right now. I don't need your bitchy attitude." He was still not over this morning, too.

"No need. I'll do it." She was about to stop there, but all of her pent up emotions were escaping. "And you know what? The reason why you're only going to get him is because you're _obligated _to. You don't give two shits about Master."

He took one step closer to her, eyes growing with rage with hers. "Aren't you obligated, too? You're serving him 'cause _you have to_, right?"

"Yes, but also because I want to. I care about my master unlike _you_, you selfish bastard. From day one, you loathed the fact that he was going to live with us. You made it worse for yourself and _me _when you announced he was our 'son.' I bet you're wreaking our plan on purpose just to get yourself out of it with no scratches. That's why you have been of no help throughout the entire process. The wedding is even four days away! All you provided was this _ring_" — she held out her left hand — "and nothing else! If you are not going to fucking do anything, then you might as well just go fuck yourself and cancel everything!" Her chest was heaving, but she wasn't finished. "I have been going insane in my mind, Tatsumi, while you're in your own little world. Lamia isn't here. Alaindelon is with his daughter. I can't afford to bother Misaki or your parents any longer. I even went to _Kunieda's _house for fucking sakes! And I — "

_What am I doing? _Hilda thought, shocked at how uncontrollable she was getting. This wasn't her. Her mental insanity was affecting her greatly to the point where she was being so out-of-character.

Tatsumi's expression was no longer filled with rage. She noticed Furuichi left. She was surprised her outburst didn't attract any attention.

"Let's get Baby Beel together, then," he suggested calmly.

After recollecting her thoughts, Hilda asked, "What?"

"Might as well get him together. You need him with you, and I needa have a staring contest rematch with the lil' guy." He shrugged with that. "Okay?"

" … Okay."

Strangely, her thoughts gained back its control.

* * *

><p><em>It seems I'm not only missing one bridesmaid but also a flower girl<em>, Hilda thought to herself as she stared down at the person bound to their dining chair and taped around the mouth.

"The only reason why he willingly came was because _I _personally asked for him," Lamia was explaining. She rolled her eyes. "The only perks of him being infatuated with me."

Tatsumi kicked the chair almost making it topple over. "But … he's a he," he pointed out. "Are there such things as flower boys?"

Lamia flashed him an impish smile. "Now there is."

She walked over the person and tore off the tape without a care. He yowled in pain, tears forming at the corners of his eyes and falling down crazily. He screamed and screamed, straining against the bindings.

"LAMIA, DARLING, THAT HURT!" Prince En, Beelzebub's older brother, yelled for the hells to hear. A hint of tears formed, threatening to slide down. "THAT REALLY HURT! IT WAS LIKE YOU TORE OFF MY LIP!"

"Fuckin' loud-ass kid," Tatsumi grumbled.

"I DEMAND TO BE LET GO! MY ARMS ARE HURTING! EVERYTHING HUUUUURTS! I ALSO HAVE AN ONLINE COMPETITION SET THIRTY MINUTES FROM NOW." He paused, confused. "Or … wait, was it today? Tomorrow? I NEED YOLDA!"

At the mention of her sister, Hilda scowled but didn't say anything. Although Prince En wasn't her master, she still had to treat him with the utmost respect as she did with Beelzebub.

Tatsumi approached Prince En as if he was a mere kid — which he was in his perspective. "Look, brat, can you learn how to tone it down a little? If you did, then _maybe _we'll release you."

"I won't listen to a _poor person_. You are under me. I am above you. Basically, you're nothing!" En smiled haughtily at him.

The 18-year-old rolled up his sleeves, gritting his teeth. "What'd you fucking say, you little punk?!"

The young prince immediately cowered. His eyes were wide with intense fear. Before Tatsumi could inflict any damage, Hilda intervened by holding out an arm in front of him.

"Don't. I'll deal with him," she said.

Tatsumi gave En once last frightening glare before backing off.

En let out a relieved expression. "Hildegarde! Finish him off, would you?" he ordered. "And where is my brother? Last I heard he was staying with you for some odd reason." He gave her a suspicious look.

"Master is sleeping right now. And I am not your wet nurse, Prince En; therefore I will not take orders from you. You are here for one main purpose."

"What? I am not here to do anything for _anyone_. Unless they are for Lamia, my _wife._" A twinge of pink appeared on his cheeks to which Lamia scoffed at.

"We need a flower girl. You're fit for it," Hilda continued.

"Do I — Do I _look_ like a girl?! I am a prince! I am next in line after my father! I will not be flowering for anybody!" En turned his head away adamantly.

"If you do, I will personally provide you any videogame or game console you wish, as well as a date with Lamia."

The pink-haired girl whipped her head towards the busty blonde. "H-H-Hilda-neesan!" she sputtered out, astonished.

Prince En's eyes lit up like the city lights of Paris. "REALLY?!"

Tatsumi rubbed his chin, head tilted. "He _would_ look like a girl if he fixed his face," he murmured to himself.

En's excitement was bouncing around in the atmosphere. "So does that mean if I ask you to buy me _Wreakin' XI _right now, you would do that?! It isn't out yet, but it's out somewhere in Europe. I would ask one of my wet nurses to do it, but they have been ordered not to by some meanie." He calmed down partially once he rolled his eyes in exasperation. "They say that I'm 'not focusing on my studies as much as I'm supposed to.'"

His demeanor quickly changed, most likely realizing that he was vulnerable for a while there. "Wait a minute, how do I know you won't break you promise? You're lying to me, aren't ya? Yolda told me you lie a lot."

"Her bitchiness is sucking out all of her brain cells, so I wouldn't trust her judgment on that." _Yolda accusing me of being a liar? What a hypocrite_, she thought.

"Hey! That's my wet nurse you're talkin' about!" But Hilda could perceive that he was slowly accepting the wager. He took a conspicuous gander at Lamia and blushed.

Finally, after a millennium — "Fine. I have your word. You have mine. Make sure it's part _11_, not part _10_. I would also like, uh, our, um, uh, date at the … pizza arcade nearby. As soon as possible!"

As soon as Hilda nodded in agreement to his requests, Prince En squealed in a schoolgirl fashion and danced in excitement — which was difficult considering how tightly he was tied up. He glanced at Lamia yet again and sent an unflattering wink. Lamia shuddered in response.

Tatsumi leaned over until his mouth was next to Hilda's ear. She tried control herself at the proximity. "Are you for real about … all of that?" he whispered. "And _Wreakin' XI _is an old game that came out two years ago. Does the kid live under a rock or something?"

"Yes, of course I am. We are in dire need of a flower girl," she answered, just as quiet. "And we are quite behind in certain types of entertainment at the palace."

He didn't say anything else. He stayed close to her, though.

Lamia stomped over to the duo, pouting heavily. "Anything," she began imploring, "_anything_ but _HIM_! Hell, I'd even take _Creepichi _if I have to! Hilda-neesan, please be reasonable!"

"Lamia, he already agreed. Besides, he'd make a great flower girl if he had plastic surgery. I might make a schedule on that."

Tatsumi grimaced at that.

The three continued chatting amongst themselves. En watched, completely forgotten, and a suspicious smirk slowly slid on his face. He looked down at himself, and the smirk disappeared in an instant.

"Um, guys? Is it possible that I GET OUT OF THESE ROPES?!"

* * *

><p><strong>—<strong> you don't know how I happy I am to have finished this chapter.

can you believe it's been, like, three _months_ since I last updated_?_ OMG, I feel so bad. School has been a heavy crap upon my shoulders. I had to put away writing for a while.

the good news is that SUMMER IS NEAR, GUYS.

the bad news is … well, I've got four chapters left or so …

(which could be good news, 'cause I am a snail updater.)

but thanks for sticking around, all y'all_!_ You totes rock.

review_!_

| follow me on my tumblr! _spicehnoodles_

let us chat.|


	18. Love and Honor Your Face

"Strut!"

"I'm strutting, _jeez_!"

"I need more _oomph _in that strut, little girl!"

"For the last _time_, I am _not _a — ack!"

No one made a motion to help the prince from the ground. Hilda was about to, but then she decided that watching Baby Beel was enough work for her. Besides, she didn't _really _serve him.

"Oi, why do we gotta go over this shit again?" Saotome inquired, sitting on the steps that led to the altar.

"'Cause we got a flower girl," Tatsumi answered simply. He looked like he was about to collapse due to exhaustion, and Hilda wondered why. He seemed like he slept soundly last night.

"That kid ain't no fuckin' girl. Do ya think I'm blind — ?"

An immediate reply: "Yes."

"Fuck off. That's obviously Prince En underneath the wig and the makeup." He tilted his head to the side, lighting up a cigarette. "But … at an _angle _he does sorta look like a chick."

"It was a necessity," Hilda inputted, arms crossed over her chest. She rolled her eyes once En stumbled yet again.

"WHY DO GIRLS WEAR HEELS?!" he wailed, about ready to cry.

"ASK YOURSELF THAT QUESTION! AREN'T YOU A GIRL?! NOW WOMAN UP AND PERFECT THAT STRUT!" Misaki shouted at "her."

"And _he's _next for the throne?" Tatsumi muttered lowly.

Saotome patted the edge of the cigarette, bits of ashes falling to the ground. "Any idea on why that brat's here?" he asked Hilda.

She sighed in irritation. "Didn't Oga _just _tell you — ?"

He waved her off impatiently. "Yeah, yeah, he's gotta flower your wedding — _I got that_. But what the hell is he doing here in the first place? It's dangerous for him." He observed the clumsy prince.

"Lamia brought him here with a little bit of persuasion."

"Surely you've heard the rumors of Prince En comin' here, didn't ya? As if seeing that bastard Hecadoth was enough." He let out a low _tch_, shaking his head.

Hilda's eyes widened. "You saw Hecadoth, too?" she asked.

"Yeah, like two weeks ago. Asshole looked like he was trying to blend in as if he was some tourist, but he failed big time. Dude's got a stench of suspicion; you can smell his shit from afar. He's probably here underneath Behemoth's orders, and it's definitely gotta do with your kid." Saotome gestured towards Baby Beel, who was sitting on the pews and staring at amusement at his brother's failed attempts, with his chin.

"What about Beel?" Tatsumi asked defensively.

"Like I said, punk, I'm not blind. I know that the kid is Lord Beelzebub the IV."

"If you knew that, why'd you have to ask all those questions about him before, huh?!"

"'Cause I wanted to see why he was with the both of you, posing as your 'kid.' That shit's not believable to me." He paused, rubbing his chin. "But he kinda has Hilda's ears … "

"Saotome, do you have any clue as to what's going on?" Hilda asked him seriously. "Hecadoth and Prince En's strange arrivals … Why would this occur? What's Behemoth's agenda?" _Yolda, you have gone way overboard._

"Behemoth's a shady guy. I can never tell what goes on in his head," Tatsumi's former teacher commented. "Whatever it is, though, it's probably somethin' dangerous."

"Wait a minute, back up," Tatsumi interrupted. "Who the hell's Behemoth? What's going on?"

"Behemoth's the head poncho of an army underneath the Great Lord and Prince En," Saotome explained gravely. "He's infamous for doing some dirty shit without the Great Lord's permission, but the intention underneath all that shit is basically for the good of their land. Put simply, you don't want to be on his target list."

"I'm already on someone's target list," Tatsumi muttered, casting a glare Hilda's way.

"And," he continued on, "he's also got a son, Jabberwock. He's the one in charge of handling the 34 Pillar Division. Basically, he does his dad's shit. Guy's a violent monster when provoked, so watch your backs."

Tatsumi didn't seem at all deterred by the information bestowed upon him, but Hilda could see his jaw was slightly locked due to tension. "You know a lot about … all of this."

An unidentifiable emotion flittered across his former teacher's eyes. "Yeah," he murmured.

"Watching our backs won't be a problem," Hilda declared. "All the pillars are easily detectable given Hecadoth's version of _blending in_."

Saotome grunted. "All right, yeah. Enough with all this unnecessary talking. You guys got a wedding in just a few days. Let's _actually _rehearse, all right?" He flicked his cigarette to the ground and put it out with his boot. "Okay, Hilda, repeat after me: 'I, Hilda Whatever, take you, Oga Tatsumi, to be my lawfully wedded — " He got cut off.

"Can you make the vows shorter? I wouldn't like to be up at the altar that long," she demanded, impatient. All these suspicions floating around concerning Behemoth was prickling at her being.

"Fine by me. How's about this: 'I, Hilda Whatever, take you, Oga Tatsumi, to be my hubby. I promise to not bullshit you no matter the situation. I promise to love and honor your face."

Tatsumi's face contorted into slight disgust. "What's up with the 'love and honor your face'?"

Hilda rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. "Was that _your _wedding vow to your wife?"

"And so what if it is? It's short, and it works, right?" He grumbled something underneath his breath. "If you're both gonna act like whiny bitches, then you might as well make your own damn vows."

Tatsumi agreed, "Fine."

Hilda snapped her attention towards her fake fiancé. "We've been through this, Oga," she told him exasperatedly. "We have no _time _— "

"Nah, it'll just be me. You can say the traditional vows if you'd like." Once again, his face was unreadable. What was his agenda?

"And just what are you going to say?"

"You'll find out."

His ambiguity irked her to no end. It wasn't exactly helping the situation at hand.

Saotome didn't seem to notice the exchange between the two or just chose to ignore it. "All right, let's continue on," he announced gruffly. "Now that we're done with the vows — "

Hilda was far from finished. It would be mortifying to repeat such vows during the wedding in front of their guests. "I am not saying your damn wedding vows, and _you _— " she flashed her irritated gaze at her soon-to-be-hubby " — are not creating your own vows. We are sticking to the traditional vows."

Tatsumi returned the gaze defiantly. "'Kay, woman, chill. _I'm _making the vows, not you. You don't have to do shit about it. You can say the traditional vows all you want."

She needed to know exactly what he was going to "vow" to her. Knowing him, he might cause a flashy scene and list down all the traits she possessed that pissed the hell out of him.

Hell, he might even _confess _—

_No_, Hilda thought firmly. _He wouldn't dare. He wouldn't do that. No matter how much we anger each other, we wouldn't dare do that to one another. We've gone too far for this arrangement. There's not going back, and Tatsumi knows that._

She broke the connection between eyes and faced Saotome.

_I trust him._

"Well then, that's settled. What's next for us?"

The tall man flipped through his notepad. "Uhhhh, shit, what's this? Oh, that's the grocery — " His eyes widened, and he immediately tore, crumpled, and threw the piece of paper away heedlessly. "There's nothin' else, actually. Other than the kiss, 'course, but it's not like you guys needa practice that since you're a bunch of horny fucks al — "

Tatsumi gave a simple shrug. "All right," he conceded and pulled her forward, capturing her unprepared lips.

If she didn't acknowledge the fact that she was attracted him in some way or another, she wouldn't have kissed back. If they weren't supposed to be pretending to be a couple in love, she wouldn't have kissed him back. If they weren't around so many spectators, she wouldn't have kissed him.

She wrapped her slender arms around his neck and pulled him closer. She opened her mouth to deepen the kiss even more. He let out a satisfied groan at that, one hand sliding down to squeeze her —

"EWWWWWWWWWW!" a child shrieked.

The duo pulled apart and faced the source of the deafening agony without letting go of the other.

Prince En's face was colored messily with red blotches. Disgust was written along with it. He was no longer wearing the heels Misaki, who left to attend to other matters.

"Are you freaks crazy?! If I didn't stop you sooner, I might've had to be sent to the hospital from mental illness or something!" He closed his eyes and shuddered. "I forbid you two from showing all that kissy-kissy stuff in front of me!"

"Daabuu!" Beelzebub cried out, pudgy arms reaching out for them.

Hilda released her strangely tight hold on Tatsumi and went to retrieve Master. Once he noticed she was about to hold him, he shook his head and began fussing.

She bent down to his level in front of the pew. "Master? What's wrong?" she asked worriedly. Was he hurt? Was he hungry?

"Daa! Abuu, daa!" He gestured towards Tatsumi.

Hilda regarded her fiancé. "Your son is requesting for you, Tatsumi."

Tatsumi rolled his eyes at her, but he didn't hesitate to obey his "son's" demands. He picked up Baby Beel, who immediately smiled and giggled at him. Tatsumi poked his belly, and Beel squealed ecstatically.

Hilda couldn't help but smile warmly at seeing such a sunny view. She stood up to join them. She took a hold of her master's hand and started playing with him. His eyes grew brighter seeing her partake in their playtime. It was her first time playing with him while Tatsumi had him. She usually left to her private devices once it was Tatsumi's time to spend quality time with him, but she merely couldn't help it now.

Lamia smiled at the pseudo-family. Prince En rose an eyebrow at the scene playing before him. Saotome lit up a new cigarette, facing away from them — but he had a slight smirk planted on.

"Aw, well, isn't this just so _sweet_?"

Hilda's happiness diminished into nothing as soon as she heard that ghastly voice. Tatsumi's eyes hardened, his hold on Beelzebub tightening.

Yolda was standing at the entrance of the church with Izabella and Satura behind her. All three were donning their usual wet nurse outfits.

Prince En sparkled at the sight of them. "Yolda! Izabella! Satura!" he shouted out with glee.

Yolda's haughty smirk and the seriousness etched heavily on Izabella and Satura melted away at the sight of their master. It was replaced with wide sparkling eyes filled with adoration and love. Their tense statures relaxed, anything remotely considered menacing vanished.

"Prince En!" Yolda exclaimed, holding out her arms.

The older brother of Baby Beel was about to run towards his wet nurse to mimic a rather clichéd scene, but Hilda grabbed onto the back of his dress to prevent him from doing so. She pulled him back as gently as she could, far away from her sister.

At that, Yolda glared at her, fists clenched at her sides. "And just what the _hell _are you doing? You have no right to do that, manhandling Prince En as you please. You could've hurt him!"

The prince struggled against the strong hold on his dress. "Yeah! She's right! Now let _go _of — !"

Hilda released her grasp on him, but before Prince En could make his escape, Tatsumi used his free hand to grab onto him. Unlike Hilda, he wasn't gentle and all but dragged him all the way behind him and held him tightly.

Prince En was ready to complain yet again but kept his mouth shut once he saw the deathly gaze Tatsumi locked upon him.

"You have no right to treat Prince En with such disrespect!" Yolda said angrily, green eyes flashing with rage.

"And you have no right bustin' in our rehearsal," Tatsumi shot back.

"Oga Tatsumi, do_ not _interfere."

"Believe me, I wouldn't have if you hadn't been stickin' your fuckin' business up in our asses." He gritted his teeth.

Seeing Tatsumi talk like this towards her sister was extremely attractive in Hilda's point of view. She was able to snap out of her intense gaze and prevent herself from jumping him right then and there. She had a bitch to deal with.

Hilda gestured to the door, signaling Yolda to follow her out.

"What is it going to take for you to just _stop_?" Hilda demanded once they exited the church.

"Oh, and whatever am I doing, my dear sister? I'm just here to visit. Once I heard Prince En was within your 'care,' I had to arrive as soon as possible." Yolda's eyes turned dark. "I had to hear from meager civilians that he was here with _you_. So tell me — why is my master with you? What exactly are you doing with him _without _my consent?"

"He's my flower girl."

" … Please tell me you're joking."

"I don't fuck around when it comes to you, Yolda."

Yolda laughed bitterly. She appraised her sister from head to toe. "You were looking quite vulnerable in there earlier. It was almost as if you guys looked like one big, happy family." She smirked. "Don't get so caught up in your delusions, Hilda. This wedding is a scam, and Beelzebub isn't your real son."

"Like I don't know that," Hilda snapped icily. She knew that. She knew all of that. But hearing Yolda say it out loud so clearly troubled her. "I know you are hell-bent on destroying my wedding, but to actually get _Behemoth _involved is a new low for you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Hecadoth. Surely you've seen him around the past few weeks or so."

"What does Hecadoth have to do with Behemoth?"

Hilda sighed impatiently. _Ugh, acting all oblivious. _"Don't play dumb with me. Hecadoth is one of Behemoth's trusted pillars. Are you actually getting these type of people involved in your personal affairs? Are you that desperate to actually accomplish your petty revenge? You are going to endanger everyone, including your master."

Yolda flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder, waving off her assumptions. That action only fueled her suspicion even more. "Like I said, Hilda, don't get so caught up in your delusions. I have absolutely no intentions of asking Behemoth for help in what I am fully adequate in doing myself. And don't make it seem like I don't know how much of a dangerous man Behemoth can be."

"Some time ago, I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting Hecadoth. The fool was acting all nonchalant, attempting his elusiveness regarding my master." The memory of it lit the fire within Hilda. "Hecadoth wouldn't come here on his own terms. Someone must've ordered him to do so, and it could be Behemoth, Jabberwock, or, worse, _both_ of them."

Yolda furrowed her eyebrows at that and shook her head. "All I want is Prince En's safety. He is my number one priority, and I will put him before my plan against your fake wedding," she said resolutely. It was the only statement uttered by her sister that Hilda believed.

An idea hatched inside Hilda's brain. It was ridiculous. It was probably insane. But it could kill two birds with one stone so easily. She just had to search for the right words to make a batch of convincing sentences.

"If you want to protect him, be my bridesmaid," Hilda suggested.

Yolda gave her an incredulous look. "Are you bullshitting me? You _are _fully aware of the fact that I am determined on destroying your fake wedding, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am well aware of that. The only way you can protect Prince En from whatever danger your mind is conjuring up is to be at my wedding. I don't _want _you at my wedding, but I am in need of another bridesmaid. You protect him, and one of the groomsmen doesn't feel lonely walking down the aisle." She sighed. "Not that I care about that person's feelings whatsoever, but what's needed has to be dealt with accordingly."

Her sister let out a laugh of disbelief. "Ha! Like I'd believe you. I bet you have an ulterior motive behind this little suggestion of yours. No way would you invite me to your wedding even if I said it was needed to protect my master. I'm even your biological sister, and you still wouldn't invite me."

"Just take the offer or leave it. Otherwise, your master's life is in _my _hands during the wedding," Hilda warned. She truly wasn't going to put Prince En's life in any danger. She still served his family in some way or another even though she left the Academy — it wouldn't have ever crossed her mind.

"No. I'll take you up on your 'offer' _only if _I get to bring Satura and Izabella." Although Yolda accepted the offer, she still had that careful look in her eyes … and something else Hilda couldn't distinguish.

"As long as there are no disruptions."

"I'm still going to destroy your wedding, though."

"Ah, see but there's the catch." With that, Hilda smirked haughtily. "Your top priority is Prince En's life no matter what, Yolda. You can guarantee he will be safe if you are within his presence. Either you become my bridesmaid and stay _put _— and don't _think _I would forget about your fellow skanks — or fuck up my wedding and risk Prince En's safety."

"You wouldn't _dare_, Hilda. Regardless of the fact that you're not directly serving my master, you are still required to protect him to a certain degree. You know what that means, darling sister of mine?" Yolda came closer with narrowed eyes. "You have to make sure he is safe within your presence during the wedding, even now as well."

Hilda scowled at that. _She's right. He's still underneath my protection, but then …_

"So does that mean you're not invited to the wedding? You're not my bridesmaid?"

"Did you not _hear _a word I — ?"

"Yes, I am responsible for his safety. With that said, you don't need to be at my wedding. You have entrusted Prince En upon my watch from now to the time of the wedding." _You think you can fool me? _Hilda thought smugly.

Yolda was lost for words. "B-B-But I have to attend your wedding!" she stuttered, cheeks red. "I am in charge of him!"

"Fine by me. Attend my wedding _as _my bridesmaid. Just _don't _cause any havoc. That's all there is to it."

Yolda slammed her hand on the table. "I'll be your bridesmaid!" she spat. "Fine! I'll fuckin' do it! Prince En will be under my care, and I'll make sure not a single hand touches him. But mark my words, _Hildegarde_."

Hilda stayed silent, glaring.

"I'm not the only one that wants to destroy your wedding."

Suspicions confirmed.

* * *

><p>It was rare to find a calm, secluded area in the arcade. There were so many young kids with coins in their pockets, running from the fighting games to the crane machines. Some adults were busy wasting their money on games based on luck and chance, eyes mad with greed and ignored exhaustion.<p>

Tatsumi arrived from the tiny dango stand that was adjacent to the arcade, carrying some delectable delights in one hand and a large Slurpee bought from the arcade's Slurpee machines. He placed the food down and took a seat next to Hilda. Baby Beel was on her lap, playing with a squeaky Totoro toy Hilda won from the crane machine.

"So, you gonna tell me what went on between you and your evil sister?" he asked, immediately munching on a dango.

Hilda let out a deep breath. "She's my bridesmaid now," she replied.

"Are you serious?"

"It's the only way she won't actually ruin our wedding. She could attend our wedding to protect her master as long as she was my bridesmaid."

"Yeah, but she'll find a way around that, won't she?"

"If she does have Behemoth on her side, then she will." Her eyebrows deepened at the thought. Yolda would go through such drastic measures to merely destroy her wedding. Perhaps the fact that she has Prince En with her provoked her sister even more.

He took a sip of the Slurpee. "What else?"

"She gave me a warning that someone else wants to ruin our wedding, as well."

"Damn, so many haters."

Out of nowhere, Furuichi approached them. He looked fatigued. "Lamia is driving me crazy!" he shouted, wringing his hands through his hair. "She pulls me wherever En drags her. I can feel some bad vibes comin' from the little guy, so I try to separate myself from her, but she keeps such a tight little grip on my shirt. Look at it!"

Tatsumi didn't take one glance, but he still said, "Looks fine to me."

"Bastard, you didn't even look!"

"I sense that it looks fine."

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE." Furuichi collapsed on one of the chairs. "It's a good thing I managed to escape."

"The main thing is Prince En is enjoying himself. Luckily, we have Lamia around to keep him from straying away," Hilda said, watching the young couple a couple of feet away from them. Lamia looked bored while En was busy smashing the buttons of the arcade game.

"Aw, shit." Tatsumi plucked off a strand of hair from his tongue. "That's disgusting!"

Furuichi grimaced. He was about to comment on how that dango stand was known for its disgusting ingredients when a rather large man bumped into him with brute force. The action caused Furuichi to fall off the floor instantaneously.

Hilda looked away from her master once she heard the fall. She glanced at Furuichi briefly before targeting her attention at the man that bumped into him. Before he disappeared up the staircase, she saw that he had a black trench coat, hood up to conceal the back of his head, with a seemingly familiar crest on the back.

* * *

><p><strong>—<strong> okay, guys, only two chappies left.

brace yo'selves.

i had a particularly difficult time writing this chapter. i seriously have no idea why. it was bothersome, and i basically suffered from writer's block.

that was a pain in the freakin' _arse_, but i kind of like how simple it is personally.

so, enjoy & review_!_

|R.I.P. Cory Monteith (1982 - 2013), AKA _Finn Hudson _from _Glee_

You will forever be loved & missed. Thank you.|


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